Wednesday, December 30, 2009

2009 in review...

In today's post, I will outline all I encountered in 2009 that made me the grown auss woman I am today. It's deep...so sit down and stay awhile as you read this list.

Ready?

Seady?

Ok.

I LIVED! Thank you, and good night!

*drops mic*

*takes bow*

*LAUGHING OUT LOUD bka "LOL"*

Happy New Year everyone!!!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Cubicle Chronicles 12.21.9

Good morning everyones and everyones.

Some of you know...I work for a nonprofit organization in the city of Shick-a-go! We're kinda a big deal...fa real. So I take what I do seriously as Senior Queen Princess Duchess of Grant Accounting Greatness.

Anywho, my job moved downtown in October and I have returned to the land of cubicles. No biggie for me, because I've worked in an open area before. But it's pret-ty OBVIOUS some of my coworkers haven't been in Cubicle Land before and was spoiled by the offices we all used to have.

[The previous location was in a hospital dorm. The rooms were converted to offices, so there were 1-2 people in each office.]

So today's post is summary of what I've encountered since being back in Cubicle Land.

1. Run me that number!
When we moved, all the fax machines weren't set-up. I was assigned a fax number, but had no fax machine to go with it. So I go to another fax machine to receive an important fax. I asked the lady who sits by the fax machine for the fax number and the lady told me she couldn't give it to me. Um, lady...this ain't YO fax machine. Run me that damn number. I ended up getting number from someone else. Maybe she just didn't like me cuz my name rhymes with hers and my lips are pink...whereas hers, black rose. *Kanye shrug*

2. Knock before entering
I have a thing about personal space. So when you wanna come around showing me pics of your bald-headed two-year old (pointing out the fact that she's bald-headed, even though I overlooked that), don't be coming up on me whispering sour nothings in my ear talkin' bout "look at my baby!" You betta announce yourself or get clapped up!

3. I can smell that
When I sit down at my desk, I can barely see over the walls, which is cool. The walls block my sight, but they fa damn sho don't block my sense of smell. Folk be spraying air freshener like others cant smell it. And they don't just spray a little...they spray ALOT! Or maybe it seems like a lot because I have a strong nose. Either way, I smell it.

4. Snitches get stitches
My seat isn't too far from the lunchroom. But with the heat being on, and music playing in my left ear...I don't hear much from a far. Well, one day, it got a little loud in the lunchroom...and some lady who isn't even supposed to be sitting on our floor got up and told the folk in the lunchroom they need to lower their voice cuz folk were working. Well, I guess it happened again last week...and the same woman (I'm pretty sure it was her) went to HR...resulting in an email being sent to everyone in our building. Next time I overhear her phone conversation, arguing about some nonsensicality...I'm telling HR!

5. Ay, can you just shut up!
Anyone who knows me knows my career of choice does NOT match my personality. At work, I am quiet...I say good morning, have a little chit chat, but that's it. I have alot of associates and friends, Therefore, not acquiring more at work doesn't hurt my life. So, I don't wanna hear "Imma make you talk"...cuz Imma give yo auss a blank stare, ok?

Well folk...that's just a snippet. I haven't even talked about my constant pain in the auss here at the gig. My nerves obviously regenerate themselves because this dude always seems to be working the last one!

Anywho, till the next Cubicle Chronicles..."you stay classy San Diego."

K to the...

P.S. This post was bought to you by CTA bus route #26. It wasn't packed, so I was able to type without folk looking all in my phone.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Thoughtless Thursday 12.10.9

I've been slacking like a mofo on this here. Well I've been busier than *insert random, ignant auss comparison here*

First, let me say my birthday weekend was fantabulous. 1800 and Ciroc were my friends for the night...and there were no Westerns* that night. I had a nice four-day weekend of chillaxation...and Wii!

Yaaaayyyyy-yer!

Anywho, on Tuesday, when I returned to work, my wanna-be superior had me having a straight hissy fit. I mean, I went in HARD on him on Twitter for a good 5 minutes.

Long story short, he took what I did...made some adjustments, and then tried to pass it off as something he did. Furthermore, he tried to explain to ME what HE did...like the ish was new to me.

Negro please!

I know this has happened to some of you before...someone tryna take credit for your ish. The next time that happens to you...

...take a cue from Stewie below!





K to the...

*Western = Throwing up. Derives from a road trip to Western Illinois University last October. One of my girls forgot to eat before we drank...and she threw up bka "pulling a Western".

Friday, December 4, 2009

GO SHAWTY...

IT'S MY MUTHALUVING BIRTHDAY

And, for once, I won't lie about my age in a post.

I was born 12/4/82...that's right, 27 years ago!

Call me old if you want...I still look younger than you, witcha 21 year old auss! lol

I tried to have a combo birthday party with Jay-Z, but he's so busy...not returning my calls.

Wait, Ion't even have his number!

Well, let me get back to doing absolutely NOTHING!

Have a good weekend everyone!