Saturday, August 31, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 31 - Fantastically and Randomly KD

Thanks for hanging with me with this challenge, y'all. I hope you enjoyed what you read.  I also hope you don't expect to see a post everyday after today.* My next post could be next week...or two months from now.

I know...random.  But, you see the name of my blog.  What did you expect? ;-)

Shoutout to Luvvie for coming up with this challenge. Coming up with posts for 31 days in a row isn't easy.  Neither is pimpin, but it has to be done.

"Green for the money, gold for the honey!"

Till the next post.

K to the...

*Don't want to get any of my 6 readers' hopes up.  I care.

Friday, August 30, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 30 - Another #Realissue

I was jamming, per usual, during my commute today and came across "Arab Money" on the iPizznayee.



What. The Hell. Was. Ron Browz. Saying?

Here's my interpretation:


Click "megaphone" for sound if red "x" is showing

Happy Friday!

K to the...

Thursday, August 29, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 29 - #Realissue Thursday

I asked my peeps for topics to write about as the challenge comes to a close.  My girl, DJ T-Race, posed the following question which made me cackle:

"Why is it that we never see baby pigeons?"

After I cackled, I said "Self?"  Self said "Girl, that's a deep question!" So I was thinking.

You know, with my brain.

Do pigeons come out mother pigeon's vagina as a full-size pigeon? Do they age faster than dogs?  Like, is a pigeon at 2 months the equivalent of a 5-year-old pigeon?

All this talk about Destiny Hope Cyrus and her flat ass "twerking"...let's talk about the real issues, people!

Do baby pigeons exist?  

K to the...

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 28 - Unpopular Opinion pt. deux

Title is self-explanatory.  Let's get it!

Milk

I love drinking milk! I haven't been cursed with lactose intoleration in this dancerie...yet. I'll, gladly, accept a glass of 2% milk. Add some Strawberry Nesquik to the glass?  Deliciousness! Chocolate milk post-workout? Awesomeness!

Chicken

Tasty? Yes!  Nutritious? Depending on how it's made, yes!  Is my life out of whack when my "chicken levels are low"? No. 

Bacon

Keep your bacon-scented, bacon-flavored, bacon-wrapped, bacon-soaked, bacon-slapped items away from me! Though I don't eat bacon often, I do love it.  But I don't need my dessert to have bacon pieces in it. Nope.

Yogurt

Greek, American, French, Indonesian, Sri Lankan...get that away from me! Yogurt tastes like bad decisions. No thanks!

Grits

Gross!

Jhene Aiko

My opinion hasn't changed.

Feel free to share your unpopular opinions.

K to the...

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

#31WriteNow Bonus: Basketball Chronicles Update

On Day 12, I wrote about two older men at the gym who talked smack to me, and only me, while on the court two Sundays ago.

Well, I found out yesterday that Grandpa #1 thought I was another lady who used to come to the court and talk smack on the regular.  He was still in his feelings about whatever she said to him 3 or more years ago and was "getting revenge"...but he had the wrong lady.

LMAOjdakdjfaepurdkag!

Get your baby ass outta here!

Again, how old are we?

K to the...

#31WriteNow Day 27 - So Much Drama in the LBC...

On November 23, 1993, the world was introduced to Snoop Doggy Dogg's "Doggystyle".  That album is, indubitably, the most ignant album I own...with the most ignant album artwork with the comic strip.  I have hella songs on my hard drive that are just as ignant. Waxamillion's "No Panties On" is one of them.

Yes, from BET's Un-Cut.

Judge not!

I am not ashamed of my love for Snoop's debut album. Rapping the lyrics to "Gin & Juice" in front of my mom and grandmother, then blasting it on a beautiful Sunday afternoon (o_O) is proof of my lack of shame.

Anyone have any albums in their collection that you should probably be ashamed of loving...but you're not?

K to the...

Monday, August 26, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 26

In honor of today's date, I want to share with you some my favorite jams from the group, Day 26.

Music Monday.

Enjoy!







Sunday, August 25, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 25 - 1 Space, 2 Space, Red Space, Blue Space

My sister from another mister, T-race, posted a status on Facebook a couple of months ago that blew my mind.  She had learned that hitting the space bar twice after a period is for typing on a typewriter.

WHAT?!?!?

So, I've been trying to break this double-space-after-period habit, outside of work emails, and I've been struggling.  During this blog challenge, sometimes I single-space after a period; sometimes I double-space.  And I don't have the time (read: I don't really feel like) going back to check spacing at the end of all of my sentences. Even in this paragraph, you can see the struggle.

One day, I'll get it together.

Happy Sunday

K to the...




Saturday, August 24, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 24 - "Bifcake" Chronicles: I Don't Think So!

I am very honest when it comes to dealing with guys I'm dating, or in relationships with. This can be blamed on my first love. You know how Quincy and Monica met in “Love & Basketball”?  That was us, back in ’91 or ’92. There wasn’t a basketball rim in someone’s backyard, though. There was a milk crate on the light pole in an alley in Chatham-Avalon.  As we went from friends to being a couple about 10 years after we met, there was always great communication between us.  If a question was asked, an honest answer was given. These weren't insecure, jealous questions; just random questions to spark conversation.

I haven’t been with him since 2002. However, I've gone into relationships with the expectation of my partner being open and honest with me as I am with him. It seems to be a "curse"...a "curse" that has been a factor in why the 4 relationships I’ve been in since 2003 have failed.

This week, I got a friend request on Facebook from an ex. I ignored the request and I sent a message asking what he wanted.  He responded, stating he wanted to say hello and was confused as to why I asked the question.  I proceeded to remind him of the last time there was any correspondence between us.  It was in 2010, via a text message he sent to his sister, in which he said:

“Tell Kenya I said ‘F*** her!’”

Oh, I aired that nigga OUT on Facebook and Twitter. First, middle AND last name. Thank God for growth, though.  I had forgiven him way before this apology I received during the exchange this week.

After, politely*, reading him, he states:

“One thing I’ve always loved about you is you always tell the truth.”

Hmm.  I couldn't tell when we were together.  And I couldn't tell when we attempted to be friends in the years since we were together.  Now he wants my number so we can talk.

This "rekindle friendship->act like an ass->disappear->repeat" cycle.

Miss me with that.

K to the...

*I say “politely” because I didn’t curse him out.  I’m classy.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Thursday, August 22, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 22 - Throwback Thursday

*Facebook Note from September 25, 2008.  Enjoy.*

A Bird in the...Office, Beats Two in the Bush



Greetings and salutations everyones and everyones. It has been a while since I blessed the fb world with my ignance via notes. But today, I just HAD to write about what I experienced at approximately 8:35a this morning

First of all, today started off pretty good. I was up earlier than usual so I could go take my mom her b-day gift before heading to work. I scooped up The Diva to take her to work...save her some f...oh wait, she's a senior citizen. They ride for free. D'oh! Anywho, she said I was going to have her at work too early, so I dropped her off at Carsons. Sounds like another excuse to shop.

So I get to work, get my breakfast out the cafeteria and head on upstairs to my office. I share my office with another accountant, and usually she beats me here, but not today. So, I proceed to unlock the door with breakfast, RedEye and Solange's CD (It's hot!) in my hand. I open the door and I see an unusually large, dark colored object flying across the room and lands on the shelf above of my desk. What is this object? A d@mn bird.

Kid you not.

So I'm like "What the?" Nobody else is in their office, so I'm just standing there...in awe, with all this ish in my hand. I go to find someone to share this discovery with, and my officemate walks up. I'm like "Yo, it's a bird in our office." She's in disbelief too.

So another co-worker comes out and overhears us chatting and somehow directs the bird to a window in the hallway. This brave, male coworker of mine actually GRABS the bird, holds it till we get the screen open and let the bird loose. End of the story? Negative!

So I finally walk in my office and sit down...literally LMAO at what I just witnessed. I send a big dumbauss mass text message to people cuz I'm still in awe. So we're looking around, and I notice there is bird poop up by my officemate's printer. It's just a little, but Tweety bird's dark-feathered cousin (We'll call him Sweety) pooped on a spot that isn't easily cleaned.

So, how did Sweety get in the office? Well, the window in my office can't be opened, so I figured when the clean-up crew came through last night to clean the offices, Sweety came through an open window in the hallway, flew in here and called NR7-141 his home for the night. End of story? Negative squared!

Let's fast forward to approximately 11:30a. I proceed to grab some papers on my desk. The papers I needed were under the RedEye I had with me this morning. I lift up the RedEye and what do I see...bird poop on this check request that had all the required signatures on it. Laughter resumes again. So imagine reading a post-it from an accountant starting with "Due to a bird...yes a bird flying in my office last night..." Yess, I did write this on the Post-It.

I swear nothing can mess up this day. I mean really...absolutely...NOTHING!

Moral of the story:
Don't let bird poop make your day a sh*##y day! lol Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 20 - 13 years...

Thirteen years ago, I was getting ready for life as an undergraduate student. I was leaving my mom, grandmother and little sister behind.

Thirteen years later, my little sister is getting ready for life as an undergraduate student. She is leaving my mom, grandmother and big sister (ME!) behind.

We leave tomorrow.

Craziness.

K to the...

Monday, August 19, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 19 - Eh...

During the interview for my current place of employment, I asked about the hierarchy within the finance department. I accepted the offer with intentions of, one day, being able to get this manager position that was mentioned during my interview.  On the first day of work, I learned that position doesn't even exist.

I could have stayed my ass at my previous place of employment.

Needless to say, I'm not happy. I addressed this during my 6-month-that-was-done-10-months-after-my-start-date employee review. Favoritism shown, low employee morale, Bitter Betty, being told I don't have enough work because I get my work done in a timely manner...bullshit.

I feel stuck. The job search hasn't been going well.  I refuse to accept another job just to get away.  That's how I ended up in this current situation.

After randomly taking a day off last week, I can't shake this idea of decreasing my hours at work. If I can get a day off every other week just to have a break from hell, then I will take it.

My last job turned me into someone that I really didn't like the last two years I was there. I refuse to let this job turn me back into that person.

K to the...

Update: My buddy in payroll said working a half day every Friday might be accepted more than having a day off every other week.  I'll take it.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 18 - It's the little things

*I couldn’t help it.  I had to write about this*

I talk to my grandmother, almost every day.  Most of the time, we talk in the a.m., which leads me to question her about breakfast.  If she hasn’t eaten anything, I’d politely ask her to, while explaining it’s the most important meal of the day.

Like clockwork.

Though there are hella struggles, there are still plenty of good moments when dealing with someone with Alzheimer’s.  Sometimes, when I call her, she says “I ate my breakfast today,” as soon as she picks up the phone.  She remembers that I’m that person who always asks her about breakfast.  And you can hear how proud she is when she tells me she ate.

Like a little kid.

And it makes me smile every time.

Love.

K to the…

Saturday, August 17, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 17 - Naw, son!

Growing up, I had the smallest bedroom in the house.  It didn’t take much for it to look messy, so I always kept it in order.  As an adult, with a larger space, I still keep my place in order...especially the kitchen!  But, order doesn’t mean a thing when living in an apartment building because you may encounter some unwanted guests.

I’ve noticed a pattern with my current abode.  Once a year, 2-3 roaches show up in my apartment and I freak out.  It seems to happen when a nastass moves out or a nastass moves in.  The first time I saw roaches in my current abode, I called maintenance.  They came in and laid a glue trap under the sink…for a mouse.

A mouse. -__-

So I took matters in my own hands.  I bought some Raid and got to spraying.

I’ve seen two roaches this past week.  It’s time for the re-up.

I don’t play.

Odd Future Roach Gang KILL THEM ALL!

K to the…

Friday, August 16, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 16 - Halfway

I'm surprised I've made it this far with the challenge.  I actually hate writing.  My degrees are in Accounting.

Those last two statements are related.

I hope I haven't been too boring.  Maybe you learned something new about me.  Maybe you were reminded of some things about me.  Either way, I hope you've enjoyed what you've read.

Thanks for reading.

Feel free to subscribe.

Let's keep it going.

K to the...

Thursday, August 15, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 15 - Thirsty Thursdays

Undergrad...no classes on Fridays?

Sheeeiiiiiiid...you know what we were on!!!

$1 shots at the club, sharing a $7 bottle of something or Hpnotiq* when we were feeling fancy.

Adulthood...gotta go to work on Friday?

Sheeeiiiiiiid...you know what I'm on.

Making sure I drink 64oz of water to reach my daily quota and that my bills are paid, because it's pay day.

Ha!

K to the...

*Hpnotiq.  Don't think you can pay me to drink that ish today. 


Wednesday, August 14, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 14 - My favorite Leo

Today, 18 years ago, at 4:32pm...a baby girl was born.

My baby sister.
Innocence in '95


My road dawg.
Thuggin' in '01



My heart.
Love in '12

Kiara Imani.
Beautilful for prom in '13


Where has the time gone?

JESUS TAKE THE CALENDAR!!!

K to the...

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 13 - Loc-a Flocka Flame

  • As my hair gets longer, it's becoming more manageable for me. I don't have a countdown til my next appointment, anymore.
  • Last time I got my hair done, my loctician said most of my hair is loc'ed. Maybe all of it is loc'ed, now.
  • Organic lemon juice really does help to loc hair, but my scalp hated it.
  • I love how untamed my hair can be, at times, and I still look cute.
    • Well, I look cute to me...THAT'S what matters
  • I've had a few folk ask how long will I have locs.  I don't know.  Too early in the game to think about long-term.  
  • And of course...ya bish! ;-)
K to the...

Monday, August 12, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 12 - Basketball Chronicles: How Old Are We?

As the hoop session was winding down yesterday, we were a couple of players short to run a full.  So, two older guys who usually play half-court decide to joins us.

Game is going, I call out the score every time a team scores.  My team has had the lead for the majority of the game.  So, I call out the score of 9-7.  Now, it's an issue to the older dudes.  I'll refer to them as Grandpa #1 and Grandpa #2.  In #1's mind, the score is 7-7.  Nobody has said anything about the score all game.  Now that the other team is down...they want to complain about the score.

Also known as "cheat".  I can't stand a cheater.

So, everyone (except me) agrees the score is 7-7.  I don't call out the score anymore.  #1 and #2 proceed to talk shit to me for the rest of that game, and the two following games.  Nobody else...just me.  

At one point, #2 mocks my voice.  

Really?

Obviously, it was 1992, and I was on the playground during recess.

K to the...

Sunday, August 11, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 11 - Laugh

*I tweeted about this the other day.  If you read the tweets, just act like this is your first time reading.  If you didn't...enjoy."

On Day 7, I wrote about my grandmother's condition and how I won't be going into much detail about her challenges on my blog.  At the end of the post is a pic of me kissing my grandmother's cheek.  Every time I look at it, I smile because of what happened prior to that picture being taken.  It's become one of my favorite photos with her.

About 3 weeks ago, a gang of us were at my best friend's parents' crib celebrating my "other mom's" birthday.  We were all sitting around, talking, sipping, dancing...just having a good time.  Mei-Mei called me over to sit down next to her.  She was feeling good that night.  She had her Moscato AND took a shot or two of tequila.

Yep.  She was feeling good.

After I sat down, I asked her to take a picture with me.  She told me she didn't like the first picture.  Then, she starts laughing.  As she started to laugh, I took this pic:
While she continued to laugh, I kissed her cheek and caught that moment.  Here it is again...and you will deal.  I really do love this pic:


Love.

Happy Sunday.

K to the...

Saturday, August 10, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 10 - "Throwback this..."

My Saturday morning TV line-up was the shiznit as a child.  A bowl of Fruit Loops and the TV to myself from 9a-12p was all I needed in this life of sin as a child.  Today, I just want to share some of my faves.

Happy Saturday!

K to the...

Saved by the Bell.  Who doesn't remember this?


"They're heroes in a half-shell...and they're greeeen!"


Because of my big forehead, "Tweety" was one of my nicknames as a kid.  -__-


Remember when the NBA games were on NBC?

Friday, August 9, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 9 - Cubicle Chronicles: 3 Feet, No Pressure.

There's a guy at my job who doesn't understand the meaning of personal space.  When I first started working here, I noticed he'd want to shake my hand every time we saw each other.  Because of this handshake, I would have to feel this ashy, sandpaper hands.  He works in the kitchen, washing dishes.  So naturally, his hands are extra dry due to all of the washing.  Understandable.  But, his hands still felt gross.

After a week or so, I switched it up on him.  I hit him with the "fist bump."
Ever since that fateful day, over a year ago, he is obsessed with making sure every time I see him, we fist bump.  I've been followed around the cafeteria so that there is a fist bump.  I've had my path in the hallway blocked so there is a fist bump.

Ugh.  Back the hell up, dude!

K to the...

Thursday, August 8, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 8 - My fave number

It's August 8th.

Eighth day of the 8th month of the year.

Yeah, it's my favorite number.

It goes back to 8th* grade when my grammar school finally had a girls' basketball team.  When picking a jersey number, I didn't want the same number as anyone else in the NBA.  I chose #18.  I still have my jersey and I might still be able to fit it.

Shut up.

Get to high school and I was unable to have "18" as a jersey number during the season.  In the summer league, it didn't matter.  But, Coach Penny (RIP) never ordered shirts with "18" on the back.  But he always had "8", so that's what I'd always pick.  And it's been with me since.

NJ Nets jersey from undergrad

Bears jersey

Class ring.  That wasn't my jersey number.
Since 8/8 is amongst us, let's hope it's a good day for me.

K to the...

*Coincidence

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 7 - MYOB

In a rambling post last month, I mentioned that my grandmother had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  I didn't realize how few people I told until I got texts saying "I didn't know."  As much as I'd like to go into details on the challenges of dealing with someone who suffers from this incurable disease, I can't.

Back in 2011, too much drama was occurring in my life due to tweets being scrutinized.  I would tell my grandmother about it and she would tell me not to put my business out on the Internet.  She hates the Internet.  She would tell me if I need to get it out, write it down or talk to someone about it.  I feel like this should apply to her condition, as well.

At times, I feel like my friends are tired of hearing me talk about her condition.  It's not something I talk about everyday, but talking about it can kill a good mood, ya know.

I will say as her condition worsens, mine and my mother's coping mechanisms have gotten better as we've gotten used to the situation.  We're each other's rock.  And I cherish every moment Mei-Mei and I spend together: frustrating or funny.


K to the...

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 6 - Girl, sit down!

There comes a time in life when you just have to sitcho $5 ass down...tap out...take the L, when it comes to physical activity.  Even though I look 18, my body is, in fact, approaching 31.  These legs got another 40+ years of high heels toleration in this dancerie.  I have to keep them together.

Yeah, I said 40+ years.  Have you not met my grandmother?

This past weekend, my girls and I decided to take a ride along Chicago's lakefront and enjoy the beautiful weather.  
Neither one of us had planned to ride 10+ miles on Saturday.  But the weather was beautiful, and we were on a roll.

After I got home, showered and chilled, my sillauss was thinking "Maybe I can ride my bike to the gym tomorrow (Sunday) morning to go hoop."  That's 13 miles, round trip.

The hell was I thinking?

When I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, I was walking like a baby who had taken her first steps.  Legs were all wobbly and ish.

Needless to say, I drove my sillauss to the gym on Sunday. 

When your body says "Sitcho auss down," you listen.

K to the...


Monday, August 5, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 5 - Jukebox*: Revealed

Music was always played in the house, as a child.  V-103, vinyl, cassettes…I jammed to it all.  Of course, as a child coming up in the 80s and 90s, Michael Jackson was rotation.  I actually have my mom’s “Bad” album that I may or may not return to her when she gets a new record player.  If “Bad” wasn’t being played, I was watching “Moonwalker” on VHS.  I definitely got my Michael Jackson fix as a kid.

Included on “Moonwalker” was a music video for “Man in the Mirror.”



I couldn't recite all the lyrics in the verses, but when it got to the chorus…that was my time to shine!

“I’m starting with the man in the mirror!
I’m asking him to change his ways!”

Well, it wasn’t until I reached adulthood when I realized that the “man in the mirror” that Michael Jackson was singing about…

is Michael Jackson.

“If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and make a change.”

You know how many times I sang this song!?!  Here I am singing about making a change…not knowing that I’m supposed to be the one that’s making the change.

I WAS THE (WO)MAN IN THE MIRROR THAT I SANG ABOUT!!!

*facepalm*

K to the…

*Jukebox is a nickname (one of my favorites) that I acquired in college.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 4 - The Cross

"Those who wear the cross often forget the Christ of the cross"

This is a "Thought of the Week" I saw in my old church's program one Sunday when I was a teenager and it crosses my mind often.  I am someone who often has a piece of jewelry on me that represents my faith.  If I don't have a cross around my neck, I have on my great-grandmother's ring, which has a cross on it.  I don't get to church as often as I used to, so I feel like I need to have a cross near me.  It's not a fashion statement, to me, like some folk treat a "Jesus piece."  It's just a reminder of my faith.

And right now, I need that reminder more than ever.

K to the...

Saturday, August 3, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 3 - Yeezus' Rice

Unless you've been living under a rock, you know that Kanye released an album on June 18th entitled "Yeezus".  Every now and then, I rank his albums; sometimes these rankings change.  Right now, this is how I rank his albums:

  1. Graduation
  2. The College Dropout
  3. 808s & Heartbreaks
  4. Late Registration
  5. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
  6. Yeezus
K to the...

Friday, August 2, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 2 - The 'N' Word

I will never be here for anyone who isn't African-American saying "nigga" or "nigger".

 An Asian classmate of posted a pic of his Caucasian friends and the caption said "My niggas from Jeff park."

No way, my dude...NO WAY.

K to the...

Thursday, August 1, 2013

#31WriteNow Day 1 - Allow me to reintroduce myself...

So, the homie, Luvvie, came up with this blog challenge for the month of August.  Everyday, I am to post something to my blog.  I couldn't quite come up with a theme.  I was thinking of writing a short story...but I'm Sweet Brown to it.

In other words, I don't have time for that.

*ba dum tss*

Since the title of my blog is Fantastical Randomocity, I think it's OK for me to be random for these next 31 days.  Just think of these posts for the next 31 days as me updating my Facebook status.

So for today, I'm going to start with 10 random facts about me.

I put this here because it wouldn't align correctly for number 5.  Ain't I cute, though?  OK, continue reading.

  1. I rarely introduced myself as "K.D."...and it still sounds weird when I hear folk introduce me as such.  Not that there's anything wrong with it.
  2. 10 Myths About Introverts.  Yep...me.
  3. I haven't been on a real date since "Ted" was in theaters last summer.  And I am OK with this.
  4. I told my father to "get off my ovaries" when he asked me about kids last year.  Hasn't asked me about them since.
  5. When my hair gets longer, I am going to recreate that pic above from when I was about 3 years old. Ponytails and all, since folk think I still look the same.
  6. I am the oldest of two girls, but the youngest amongst my close friends.  Balance.
  7. I've learned to not tell my crushes when I'm crushing on them. It's always lead to embarrassment in the past...from high school to adulthood.  So, I just shut up.
  8. I think people who included lyrics in their liner notes are angels. Sometimes, my ears don't hear what these artists say.
  9. Eye shadow and lip gloss...all the make-up I need in this life of sin.
  10. I hope I can keep this challenge going.
K to the...