Fantastical Randomocity

#BARS: Rapid Refund Edition

2012-02-16T10:00:00.000-06:00

Today's post is number 100 on Fantastical Randomocity! *throws 100-shaped confetti* I don't know if this is significant or not...but we'll just keep the party going.

Now, don't quote me on this, but it is a scientific fact that Instant messenger programs were invented SOLELY to maintain one's sanity. Aside from maintaining sanity, these programs also help start rap careers...that need not exist. Check out the G-chat freestyle battle between two Sagittarians, MC It's My Grant (myself) and MC Where's My Refund Check (Jordan) [Also seen on Tumblr].

*after a discussion about our wack income tax refunds for 2011*

MCIMG: gonna be a good year...I ain't talking about a tire/Jim Carrey crazy...no "Liar, Liar"
MCWMRC: *passes u the mic* go get em
MCIMG: yo, yo...check it
progression, regression, recession, great depression
Super Bowl Sunday, who gon' throw an interception
MCWMRC: got an erection from the 08 election
no one showed affection, so much deception
I should be a Decepticon
mad my hairline mirrors Lebron's
MCIMG: That cul de sac hairline, word to Bron Bron
RIP to Cortez Cornelius, first name Don
MCWMRC: So I...witnessed KD In the Maxima
can I take u on a date is what I'm asking ya
she declined smoother than a babys ass
shoulda had better game with my lazy ass
tried to play for her heart, no love and basketball
bored expression on her face, I shouldn't have asked at all
but my button up was crispy
and no creases in my J's so how the f*** could she diss me?
LOL *passes mic*
MCIMG: *looks at ground and nods head* *notices dirt on boots* *wipes them off* *goes back to nodding*
Mara Hruby in my earphones, as I groove to the beat
no red leather jacket on, so the It, I can't Beat
Tryna regain composure after Jordan committed freestyle murder
"I'M SO HAPPY TO BE HEAH" like the African goat herder
But he wasn't a goat herder, he was a prince, Akeem
20 years later, Houston got the dream, HAKEEEEEM
*drops mic shakes left tit*

*pause for the cause, discusses freestyling in Vegas, on the strip, while inebriated (LOL), then...*

MCWMRC: spit in front of the Bellagio
lyrics drippin from our lips like a popsicle
damn I just drew a blank lol
MCIMG: hahahahha it rhymed, though
you good son...keep going!
MCWMRC: bring the beat back
uh uh
MCIMG: *lights candle*
LOL that was so random
MCWMRC: Lights candle? must be a vigil.
spittin in a cypher, one person in the middle.
*balls paper up* got damn it
*passes mic* lemme get my train of thought
MCIMG: You aight, son, we all draw blanks
it could be worse, you could be walking a plank
I can't swim, they say black people don't like water
but they like Joe Budden, who be in the House that be Slaughtered
MCWMRC: uhn! RAWSE
MCIMG: *strokes imaginary beard*

We show you how to do this, son!

K to the...

Random Rumblings

2012-02-14T09:40:00.000-06:00

Happy Valentine's Day! :-D
No, I don't have a Valentine.
When I first started this blog, I was posting multiple times a week. Then I joined Twitter on 9/26/09, and different things I could have written about were tweeted. Then Tumblr came along and I truly neglected my first-born, Fantastical Randomocity. So, now I'm trying to regain her trust again. *caresses the blog*
I deleted my Tumblr page. I really wish there was a way I could have saved all of my original thoughts on there. Maybe 30% of my posts were original thoughts; the rest was me reblogging pics or other folk's thoughts. So, some of my Tumblr posts will be rehashed on here.
My grandmother hates all things Internet, especially Twitter. So, she gave me some advice a few months back: WRITE IT DOWN! Because of this, I keep a small notebook in my "everyday bag". I haven't written in it, yet. A lot of the time, music takes away whatever is bothering me...or I talk to myself or God.
I don't like to be informed of when someone is tweeting mess about me. If I'm not mentioned in a tweet about me, by someone I don't follow, then it's not meant for me to see. It has only happened once in my new year. I'd like for that to be the first and last time.
Having personal business (whether true or false) on the Internet sucks.
Being able to block folk from texting or calling you is a great. Thanks, Sprint! Now, if they can block folk from showing up at my door, unexpectedly...
I love my new tat. The location is risque for me, but the words are a reminder that needs to be easily seen by me.
I've officially gone down one size in my jeans.
RIP Whitney Houston. I still can't believe it.

K to the...

So, yesterday...

2012-02-06T09:40:00.000-06:00

Yeah, three blogposts in the past week. Just let it ride, mmkay?

So, I don't have to say what yesterday was. Even my unborn child knew what yesterday was. But because of what yesterday was, we were treated to some very interesting commercials...yesterday. I wasn't too impressed with the commercials, but there were three that stuck out that had me with the gigglefits. See my top 3 commercials that were shown because of what yesterday was. ;-)

#3

Who run the world? BIRDS!

2012-02-03T09:05:00.000-06:00

As a kid, in science class, I was told birds fly south for the winter. With my imagination, I pictured the birds flying to Florida hanging with their bird-cousins and having a grand ole time. Then, March hits, and they make their way back to the Chi.

Then, I grew up and realized that maybe I was told wrong. Maybe the birds do not fly south. If they did, I wouldn't have poop stains on my ~~Bentley~~ car during the winter months. Maybe my teacher meant they fly to the South Side for winter. Yeah, that's it.

So, I accepted the fact that all birds do not fly south for the winter. Just take a stroll down Wabash in downtown Chicago and you'll see a flock of ratchet auss pigeons looking for food, or just strolling down the street like it's nothing.

Because these rat bastards do not fly south for the winter, they seek heat just like humans. This means taking over the heating lamps on a CTA platform.

Obviously, their feathers aren't enough to keep them warm.

Sometimes, it's just 2 pigeons; sometimes it's a waka flock of them! Ever since I had lunch one day outside and a pigeon was 6 inches away from my french fries, I stay away from them. I find a "safe spot" off to the side, like the lady in the pic, and stand there. I don't bother the pigeons...and they don't bother me.

I'm at least 130 lbs heavier than these bastards. But I'm the one that has to show them respect? I see who run things around heah!

K to the...

Grown-up life: Overrated

2012-01-31T09:05:00.000-06:00

What up! How's the new year treating folk, so far? I hope it's well. I'm on month two of my new year and it's not so bad. Been doing a lot of reflecting; especially on my employment situation and where I lay my head at night. Let me be honest, right now. [Not that I've been lying the previous 98 blog posts. I'm just being dramatical. ;-)] There were three main reasons I moved to Hammond, Indiana: To be closer to the beau, to be closer to the gym I frequent and love, and it's cheaper. Now that I'm single, folk might read the first reason in the previous sentence and judge me. To you I say this: So the hell what!

Anywho, the cost of everything is steady increasing, yet my pay is the same. So what does this mean?

*2Chainz voice* CUTBAAACKS!

I had to decide which monthly expenses I have could be decreased or eliminated. Then, Comcast went and charged me $1.99 for downgrading my plan, without telling me. So, Comcast was the lucky winner. I cancelled Comcast, signed up for Netflix, got AT&T Internet, and I'm saving a good $135 a month.

Schwag!

I'm trying to cut costs as much as I can because I don't wanna move back into the city; not with my current salary. Maybe the suburbs; but not the city. Would you be in a rush to go back to 10.25% sales tax on everything after living in a place where sales tax is 7% and there is no sales tax on food? I didn't think so.

K to the...

Man plans, God laughs

2011-12-24T12:17:00.001-06:00

Happy New Year! I know you're thinking "It's not even Christmas, yet!" I know. But, for me, the new year doesn't start on January 1st; it starts on December 4th, the day I was born. I am 20 days into the new year...the last year of my 20s! And I must say for this year, my mindset on life has changed drastically due to last year's events.

I'm sure all 4 of my readers have that one song that is their jam that they can listen to on repeat. Then, something happens in your life, and all of a sudden, that song sounds so different. The words haven't changed...the beat is still the same...but whatever you went through makes you relate more to what the artist is saying in the song. That's how I feel about "Laughing At Your Plans" by The Foreign Exchange.

From the moment we were little, we all made plans. We planned on what we'll be when we grow up...to who and when we'll be married. Then we lived life. And life didn't give not-a-one damn about your plans.

That's where I am right now. I made plans for life after undergrad. And while certain plans weren't carried out, other great things happened in my life. Like, straight awesomeness that wasn't planned! But last year's plans not being carried out really hit me...hard. It left me angry, hurt and depressed and thought I'd never recover. Now, I'm at the point where I stopped making definite plans for my life. I'm not out here living as if I don't have any responsibilities...or looking like a lost soul. But you won't see me with any "To Do Before I Turn [insert age]" lists.* There are some things that I'd like to do or goals I'd like to accomplish before I die, but if it's not meant to be, I can't force it. I want God to laugh at my jokes...not at my plans.

So, I'm enjoying the now...and remembering to just let it be.

Happy New Year!

K to the...

*I'm not knocking anyone who does this. Just speaking for myself.

Courtesy to whom!?

2011-11-23T10:00:00.000-06:00

Assuming all 4 of my readers are adults, I’m sure you all are aware of the prevalence of germs that are in the bathroom. And I’m sure you all are aware that it’s better to flush the toilet when the lid is down. In case you don’t believe me, WebMD.com says:

According to Charles Gerba, PhD, PhD, a professor of microbiology at University of Arizona in Tucson, flushing the toilet with the lid up is not wise. "Polluted water vapor erupts out of the flushing toilet bowl and it can take several hours for these particles to finally settle -- not to mention where," he says. "If you have your toothbrush too close to the toilet, you are brushing your teeth with what's in your toilet."

Again, assuming all 4 of my readers are adults, I’m sure you all are knowledgeable of the public act of "The Courtesy Flush.” In case you’re not, urbandictionary.com says:

A flush done in the middle of doing your business to either A) reduce the smell or B) reduce the chances or clogging the toilet.

Stay with me here.

Remember, Dr. Gerba said “polluted water vapor erupts out of the flushing toilet bowl,” and the lid should be closed when flushing the toilet.

You with me?

When you’re giving a courtesy flush, you’re sitting on the toilet, right?

So what does this mean?

The bacteria from the toilet is shooting up in my…

Wait, whaaaat?

So, when nature calls while I'm out and about, am I putting my Nina at risk for the courtesy of strangers?

I need to rethink this.

K to the...

#DatLostWeightStruggle

2011-10-19T10:00:00.000-05:00

So, back in July, I wrote about me losing #DatComfortWeight and how that was progressing. Ever since April, I've lost a total of 12 lbs. I'm not sure if it's noticeable by others, but it's cool; I did this for me.

Anywho, it feels good to be back in shape and everything, but I'm going through #DatLostWeightStruggle right now. Earlier this year, I racked up on skinny jeans. Different fits, different washes...ALL SKINNY! There is this one fit of jeans, The Boyfriend Fit, that really fat* well on me...at the time I bought them.

This past Sunday, I had on a pair of The Boyfriend Fit jeans for the first time in a while. These maugs fat* like a pair of harem pants! In case you're not familiar with how harem pants look:

Those jeans weren't supposed to look like this on me, son!

Lemme find out I, now, have to put my jeans in the dryer when I wash them, or even worse...

LEMME FIND OUT I HAVE BUY A SMALLER SIZE!!!

Another part of #DatLostWeightStruggle is the fact that I gave away all of those clothes, so now I have to re-up. This isn't a bad thing, though. :-)

So, I'm back in shape and my clothes are falling off my auss, which seems to be disappearing, as well. *cries* But, I'm in good health, so I can't really complain, can I?

K to the...

*In my mind, "fat" is the past tense of "fit" *shrug*

"And it came to me...like an epiphany..."

2011-09-17T14:59:00.000-05:00

*Very personal, so, excuse me.*

Anybody who is on Twitter or Tumblr knows of the vast amount of information that is shared on a daily basis. Whether it's someone sharing their personal issues or just sharing what's going on in the world. Well, yesterday, I read a post on Tumblr from someone who is dealing with depression and it made me think.

I don't suffer from depression, but I've been in a relationship with someone who dealt with depression. I, personally, don't know how it feels to deal with depression; but I know I wanted to be there for him when he was feeling down. I wanted him to tell me what was wrong. I wanted to be the one who held him in my scrawny arms, kissed him on the forehead and said "I'm here." After awhile, I learned certain behaviors of those who'd suffer from depression. There was one that bothered me the most: not wanting to be around others, including significant others. It made me feel useless, but I respected his wishes.

So yesterday, when I was reading that person's post, I had an epiphany about myself. I HATE not being able to help the ones I love. And I don't mean, someone asking for $20 and I only have $3; I'm talking deeper than that.

Hating that I can't help others ties into one of the negative qualities I possess...which is being controlling. This "controlling" part of me only shows in certain situations; other than that, I am a very patient person (See: celibacy and going natural. You can't be impatient going through this! hahaha). But, when it comes to certain things I have ABSOLUTELY no control over...not so much. And, I've been working on it.

This epiphany hit me while I was walking to lunch yesterday, and I felt so much better after acknowledging it. The more self-evaluating I do, the more things start to make sense. Just another part of growing up, I guess.

K to the...

Ok, We Get It: Part deux

2011-09-08T09:50:00.003-05:00

It's that time, ladies and gents...dogs, cats, and babies! If you read Part 1, then you already know how it goes. So here we go!

Ok, we get it…you don’t like Lil Wayne.

Ok, we get it…you think Carter IV is garbage.

Ok, we get it…you think Drake has a vagina.

Ok, we get it…Jesus is more important to you than finding out Beyonce is pregnant.

Ok, we get it…you don’t give a solitary f*** about ANYTHING in life because you have way more important things to worry about.

Ok, we get it…head would be nice in the morning.

Ok, we get it…Jay-Z and Kanye flaunts their riches while the country is going broke.

Ok, we get it…”Watch The Throne” was overhyped.

Ok, we get it…football is back.

Ok, we get it…you hate football.

Ok, we get it…while I sleep, you grind.

Ok, we get it…you’re [insert all positives attributes here] but can’t figure out why you’re still single.

Ok, we get it…your astrology sign is the only one that loves, has friends, or is the best at sex.

*These next few were addressed in Part 1. Obviously, people are STILL talking about it.*

Ok, we get it…Black women are [insert negative adjective here]

Ok, we get it…you’re natural.

Anything else I miss?

K to the…

Hear My Call

2011-08-06T18:09:00.000-05:00

Here I am again asking questions,
Waiting to be moved.
I am so unsure of my perception,
What I thought I knew I don't seem to
Where is the turn so I can get back to what I believe in?
Back to the old me and

God, please hear my call.
I am afraid for me.
Love has burned me raw
I need your healing
Please, please, please.

I am such a fool
How did I get here?
Played by all the rules
Then they changed
I am but a child to your vision
Standing in the cold and the rain
Lost here in the dark
I can't see my foot to take a step,
What is happening?
Oh, this hurts so bad. I can hardly breathe.
I just want to leave so...

God, please hear my call.
I am afraid for me.
Love has burned me raw
I need your healing
Please,
God, please hear my call.
I am afraid for me.
Love has burned me raw
I need your healing
Please, please, oh, please, please.

God please hear my call.
I am afraid.
Love has turned me cold,
I need your healing.
Please, please, please, please, please, please.

-Jill Scott - "Hear My Call"

God has laughed at all of my plans (word to Foreign Exchange) the past couple of months. But you know what...I'm still here...

Taking it one day at a time...

I WILL get through all of this.

#DatComfortWeight

2011-07-05T11:00:00.013-05:00

The comfort weight struggle is real, in the streets, people!

Prior to my current relationship, I was 138lbs; well within my usual range of 135lbs - 140lbs. Then, I got comfortable. I wasn't being a bum and sitting around eating gyros and fries with mild sauce all day. Tempting, but no. I just didn't have a regular workout routine and I hooped sparingly.

When I joined a new gym, I was given a body assessment and boy were my feelings hurt. I was up to 147lbs, and the measurements I had when I bought my bridesmaid dress back in September or October had changed. I thought it was a fraud. However, I noticed my clothes weren’t fitting the same. Unless you’ve seen me naked or gave birth to me (she notices EVERYTHING about me), you wouldn’t have notice all of these changes. I gave away bags of clothes because I just didn’t feel comfortable in them; though they still fit me. Plus, I was moving and it was time for me to get rid of some clothes, anyway.

After that body assessment, I was committed to getting back in the gym like I used to. I wasn’t really focused on losing weight…just toning up and being healthy. In April, I had moved closer to my gym, so there was no excuse to be “lazy”. I went hard in April because I had that bridesmaid dress to fit in…COMFORTABLY. As a bridesmaid, it's important that I am able to eat and juke without feeling like I have to change out of that dress. Priorities, people! :-) Well, May 20th came, and the dress felt great on me.

The wedding festivities were over, but I kept the party going and continued to workout and hoop more. It helps having a beau who hoops on the regular. :-) So here I am, writing to you weighing 140lbs, as of yesterday morning. And I feel great.

Moral of the story? Playas f*** up!

LOL J/k

Ain't no moral. Just gotta keep on living. ;-)

K to the...

Taking the car out of neutral...

2011-05-29T18:49:00.004-05:00

[Excuse the foul language and the touch of rambling. I'm fed up.]

From as long as I can remember, I have always been the “neutral party” when a friend of mine has gotten into with another friend. There was one instance in high school, A messed with B’s crush. I remember this ish vividly. I told B what A did, and A stopped talking to me altogether. So who looked like the bad person? ME, though I wasn’t the one being a tool found in Home Depot. Ever since, I listen to both sides of a story, but I won't go back and tell what one party said about the other.

But, today, I’m totally rethinking this neutral shit. Recently, I was given the cold shoulder by one party, and sub-tweeted by another. It’s obvious everyone doesn’t have the same mentality I have, hasn’t been through the same shit I’ve been through, and aren’t the same age as me. During undergrad, I held a lot of ish in when I would get upset because I don’t like conflict and I am such an introvert. I have a “think first, speak second” mentality; and the times when I would lash out without thinking, I’d felt like crap afterwards. It’s just who I am. I guess I should blame my zodiac sign, but I don’t know the qualities of folk who are under my new zodiac sign, Ophucurself*.

But anyway, I’d wait until anger would really build up inside of me, and then confront someone…months later. I know, wacktastical. But as I’ve gotten older, and realizing that worry lines in my face take away from my youthful looks, I speak up. That’s what adults do. If I have a question about something that’s bothering me, I’m going to ask. These experiences have molded me into the person I am today.

So the gear has been shifted from “Neutral” to “Drive” and I’m moving on from this bullshit.

Cuz for the umpteenth time in the past 3 years of my life, I’m guilty by ASSociation and ASSumptions.

Because I chose to be a friend.

K to the…

*I don't mess with that new sign astrologically, though.

"[S]he had game cuz [s]he used to hoop in Chatham..."

2011-05-11T15:50:00.004-05:00

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love to play ball. When I was in grammar school, I said I'd be the first girl in the NBA.

Then the WNBA was established. So, in high school, I said that I would go to the WNBA. But, my senior year of high school, I wasn't recruited by any colleges to play ball. That didn't stop me. I tried out for the women's team when I got to Bradley University, and made it! But because I wasn't recruited and I was joining the team after my classes were chosen, I couldn't make all of the practices. So, I let that go and focused on living the college life and graduating. I still played when I got a chance.

A couple of years after I graduated, Chicago got a WNBA team! I was so excited, I emailed the team, inquiring about tryouts. But, due to the expansion (I believe), they weren't having any tryouts. It seems at this point, I had finally let the hoop dream go.

Well, yesterday I found out the Sky had tryouts for the upcoming season. I was so sad that I missed them. Though WNBA players don't get paid NEARLY as much as NBA players, it has to feel good to get paid for doing something you love! Even if it is for a few months out of the year.

What if I didn't make the team? Well, at least I could say that I tried, ya know.

So, I'll continue to work on my game like I've been doing. But, please believe, the next time I hear about tryouts, I'm in there like booty hair!

K to the...

Cubicle Chronicles 5.5.11

2011-05-05T09:23:00.006-05:00

**Happy Cinco de Mayo!**

As a child, if I woke up and didn’t say “good morning,” my grandmother would hit me with the, “I didn’t sleep with you last night!” So, it’s nothing for me to say good morning to people. It’s not that I’m a morning person…it’s just me being courteous.

So, I was walking past this consistently-rude-auss this morning when I got to work.

I said good morning.

He said nothing.

Whatever.

So I keep walking towards my desk; jacket and sunglasses still on with newspaper in hand.

NOW he wants to speak to me.

About resolving an issue that was already resolved last month.

You can’t say good morning, but you wanna talk to me about work?!

Before I even get to my desk?!

Have a seat!

K to the...

"...to the east side"

2011-04-06T09:03:00.005-05:00

What up, y'all! I don't know what it is about the month of March, but it's definitely been March Madness for me the past three years, and I'm not talking NCAA. Well, this year's March Madness was me finding a place to stay. My lease ended on March 31st in the place unaffectionately known as "Baby Stateway Gardens" in the ~~luxurious~~ South Shore neighborhoood. I was there a total of three years, and thought I'd be there longer than that. However, I knew in May 2010, I wasn't renewing my lease. Lemme tell y'all why I didn't renew my lease.

I dealt with mice…TWICE! And it wasn’t during the time of the year when mice usually appear when they are trying to find some cover from the cold. NAW, these bastards were around when it was warm. Neither Mickey nor Ben's names were on my lease, yet they were up in there like they paid rent.

I dealt with roaches. Not so much in my apt, but in the COMMON AREAS of the building. Someone moved out of their apt and there were roaches all over the damn building. For me to have to scurry pass the elevators to avoid seeing a roach is just...ugh. Call me "bourgeois" all you want. I grew up in a house where I only dealt with spiders and ants. I don't do roaches!

There were about 9 cats that roamed the parking lot of my building. There was a man that came out everyday and fed those cats; even during a thunderstorm (I seent with my own 4 eyes). He was so attached to the cats, he even noticed when one went missing. These gangsta auss felines would also walk on folk's cars in the lot, including mine. I had a piece of a cheddar biscuit chillin on my windshield wiper one day and was befuddled. I'd even had paw prints on my windshield.

I dealt with people who can’t park. There are two lines your car should be parked in between. I was parked between two people who didn’t understand this concept. If my hips were wider and thighs were bigger, I wouldn’t have been able to get in and out of my car everyday. Also, someone parked in MY spot, one day, so I was forced to park in theirs. However, they left ME a note saying to show some respect. What?

I witnessed two carjackings in a 10 minute period from my living room window…AFTER hearing gunshots fired at a police officer. I saw the whole thing, picked the guy out of a line-up AND testified before the grand jury. Yep, I’m a snitch.

Three of my visitors have had their cars vandalized.

And all of this happened during the 3rd year of me staying there. So yeah, it was time for me to go. I have moved on up (well, down to the first floor) to the East Side (literally, east of Chicago). And I love it. So hopefully, the only pests I'll be writing about are the ones I see OUTSIDE through my patio door. :-)

K to the...

insert title here

2011-02-17T12:37:00.002-06:00

I joined a new gym on 1/31 and was given a free body assessment yesterday.

Effed me up!!!

The only scales I really trust are the one's at my doctor's office, and digital scales. I definitely don't trust scales at the gym, and yesterday confirmed why. According to the scale yesterday, I've gained 8 lbs in the past month; even though I've been playing bball and working out way more often. This doesn't make sense to me. And we won't even talk about the measurements.

So I decided, eff the numbers! I'm just going to continue my workout routine of cardio, lifting, and basketball. I'm comfortable with my range of 135-140...but hearing 147 yesterday? Psssh! Ain't no way!

I have another assessment in 3 months. Aside from Mardi Gras, there won't be any moments where I just KNOW I'm going indulge in decadent cuisine and copious amounts of liquor! Hey, I'm just being honest! :-)

This whole getting older thing sucks, sometimes. But grandmother always say "Just keep living."

K to the...

P.S. I found out my biceps are about 10 inches. Whenever y'all wanna buy tix to the gun show *kisses biceps* let me know!

sigh

2011-02-15T09:16:00.003-06:00

People have been crossing the line lately when it comes to my relationship. I mean, putting their nose all up in my business when I didn't ask. And this morning, I got even more irritated.

If I'm on wikipedia reading about a celebrity and their wedding picture is showing in their biography...that doesn't mean I'm thinking about marriage.

If I'm googling Usher's tattoos, tryna get a closer look at them...that doesn't mean I'm looking at pics of my boyfriend.
**He doesn't even look like Usher. And why would I google photos of my boyfriend...at work?**

I'm currently searching for an apt because I refuse to renew my lease in Baby Stateway Gardens...that doesn't mean that we are moving in together.

If we spend a splendiferous weekend together...that doesn't mean I'm, now, engaged. Excuse me if my great-grandmother's ring (which doesn't look sheeit like an engagement ring) fits better on my left hand's ring finger.

I don't know if he goes through this insinuating shullbit that I go through, but it seems like I do, on a weekly basis! I'm tired of it. It's like maugs are reaching!

Well, ya arms are too short to box with God...or something like that.

I'm extremely happy, and I don't feel I have to constantly tell everyone that. The ones I'm close to know how I feel about him; he knows how I feel about him. He and those people are the only ones that matter.

So, the moral of ~~the story~~ this blogpost?

MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!

Worry about YOUR relationships...or lack of.

Use that button at the upper right hand corner of your phone labeled "Fall Back,"* Jabroni!

K to the...

*Borrowed :-)

"You think y'all kick it...but, boy we puntin..."

2011-02-07T16:26:00.000-06:00

What up, folk! Time for another installment of "This Time...Last Year..."

If you know me, then you know that New Orleans is like my favorite city to visit. I first experienced New Orleans during Mardi Gras in 2009. I had so much fun, it was automatic that we would be down, again, in 2010. We made plans, but those plans had fell through about two weeks before the trip.

Disappointed wasn't EVEN the word!

Exactly a year ago, today, the Saints won their first Super Bowl...and one week later was Fat Tuesday. After seeing how CRAZY it was in New Orleans the night of the championship, and after much coercion from my cousin hitting me with the "Nawlins or Bust"...we scrambled to make this trip happen.

And we did!

Six days later, at 12am on a Saturday, we hit the road in the rental which we christened "Lady Ratchett".

Fifteen hours later, including a two hour nap at a rest stop (excitement can only give you so much energy), we made it to Baton Rouge, LA. Since we decided at the last minute to go...and it was a week before Mardi Gras...we were able to get a hook-up on a room in BR. And let me tell y'all...no matter how fast you are going, BR is ALWAYS an hour from New Orleans.

Saying "We had a blast!" is an understatement!

Went back to our favorite restaurant, Ralph & Kacoo's.
We gave ourselves a tour of the 9th Ward (which looked like a ghost town)
We met new friends thanks to my "Illinois" hoodie. (No, we don't know who those people are behind us)

We hit up the Zulu Parade

Maxed a couple of po' boys

Killed a "WTF" daquiri. You might be asking, "WTH is a 'WTF'?" Well, it's thirty-two ounces of pure inebriation...THAT'S WTF it is!

We had one...four many Hand Grenades

However, I think the highlight of the trip was getting kicked off Bourbon Street when the clock struck midnight on Ash Wednesday...AFTER doing the cupid shuffle in the middle of Bourbon Street!

Well, it's almost that time. Fat Tuesday is in March, this year...and please believe, we down there again!

Third time's a charm, right?

K to the...

"Drunk nights get remembered more than sober ones..."

2011-01-26T14:21:00.001-06:00

Yesterday, before leaving my mom’s, I noticed my sideview mirrors were FILTHY! So I wiped the driver side mirror down, and I attempted to let down the passenger side window down…

but it wouldn’t go down…

then I noticed…

the window lock was on…

Why?

Oh yeah! I had to lock the windows the other night to keep someone, who was drunk, from letting the windows down so they could continue to talk sheeit as we left the party.

hehehehe What a night…

K to the...

This time...last year...

2011-01-17T15:18:00.003-06:00

What up folk, no. G.D.!

So I had this GREAT idea for a 2010 wrap-up blog post that I was going to post on December 30th...

Then I was going to post it on December 31st...

Then 2011 was here, so it seemed pointless.

But I'm still going to do it, but on some reminiscing type stuff. So here is the first installment of "~~This One Time In Band Camp~~ This Time...Last Year..."

America's Next Red Pump Model

I am the accountant for the Red Pump Project and this time last year, we had a photo shoot. I was in the fashion show every year at good ole Bradley U, but the photo shoot is different. We were there ALL DAY, but it was worth it because the pics came out BEAUTIFUL! We slayed an abundance of hoes!

It was also at this photoshoot where I had my eyebrows arched for the first time in my life. Alls my life, I thought my eyebrows were too thin to be arched or anything...until that photoshoot! So I've gone to get my eyebrows arched a few times since the photoshoot.

No lie, nobody could tell me sheeit that day! I wanted to sleep in my make-up and eyelashes! That's how good I felt. Shout out to Andrea Camille and TPP Photography for the hoe slayage help! :-)

K to the...

First things first...

2011-01-03T10:13:00.004-06:00

I have a blogpost in my drafts that I wanted to share on 12/31/10. See, what had happened was...

The post was a year end wrap-up with a twist. There were quite a few things I did for the first time last year, so I wanted to share that with you all....pics and everything.

I think I will post it before the week ends.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #30 Your Reflection in the mirror

2010-12-24T17:00:00.001-06:00

Dear Me,

First of all, this is a 30 Day Challenge, that was started on October 21st. 30 Day Challenge means it should have been finished in 30 Days, not 30 different posts spread across 2 months. Blogging isn't your life, soooo...I understand.

Second, let me just say I am proud of the woman you have become. No you didn't own your condo at 25, and get engaged at 27, like you planned. But you have been living life to the fullest. Honestly, if you were to find out you were pregnant today, would you feel as if you have kicked it enough?

If you're going to keep adding ish to your bucket list, you betta start getting ish cracking. Remember, we don't need these eggs to first contribute to the Earth's population when you turn 35. No ma'am, we want to start that a lil sooner.

And last but not least, I think you have enough damn friends. Go hide under a rock, woman! The world is too small, and soon you're going to find someone who is related to the OB/GYN that helped bring you into this world.

Matter of fact, just sit down somewhere.

I'm kidding...keep living, keep growing, and most importantly...

DO YOU BOO! :-)

Me

30 Day Challenge: #29 The person that you want to tell everything to, but too afraid to

2010-12-24T14:00:00.000-06:00

There isn't someone I want to tell EVERYTHING to. Some things, because I don't want to be judged; others is because it's not important.

Another wasted letter. *kicks keyboard*

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #28 Someone that changed your life

2010-12-24T09:00:00.001-06:00

Dear Nana,

I was about 3 years old and you introduced broccoli to my lifespace. My exact words, according to my mom, after tasting this cruciferous plant was:

"Oooh, that taste good to my lips."

*If any of you bastards "Pause" or "Wait, what?" that statement while reading this...you have no couth. lol Come on guys...I was 3 years old!*

Ever since then, broccoli has been a part of my life...and my favorite vegetable. So thanks to you, Nana! Without you, I don't know how regular my BMs would be. :-)

I miss you so much! Check out the letter I wrote to your son. I think you'll be proud of me, too!

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #27 The friendliest person you knew for only one day

2010-12-23T14:00:00.005-06:00

I went on a 3 day cruise back in '07. Anyone who has ever been on a cruise knows the people who work on the ship are the friendliest. Here is my letter to one of them.

Dear Chicken Little,

I still can't believe you let people call you that. But um...yeah, you were the coolest person on the ship. I can't remember where you were from, but I do know as a member of the Caucasoid group...you had hella rhythm. We juked in the hallway to some jams played on a piano. That doesn't happen on a normal day.

That's "Chicken Little" standing behind me.

Anyway, thanks for helping the fam get ignant in the hallway! Hope all is well with you...wherever you are.

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #26 The last person you made a pinky promise to.

2010-12-23T09:00:00.002-06:00

I can't remember the last time I did a pinky promise...

But I did swear I wouldn't say anything when someone told me a secret.

I'm pretty sure I've still kept it to myself. :-)

You know how I am about my #1 Rule. ;-)

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #25 The person you know that is going through the worst of times.

2010-12-22T14:00:00.002-06:00

I don't know how it feels to lose a parent. I don't know how it feels to lose both parents. I don't even know what I can say to comfort you. But all I can do is pray.

Pray.

Pray.

PRAY!

And crack a joke to lighten the mood. :-)

I love you guys.

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #24 The person that gave you your favorite memory

2010-12-22T09:00:00.000-06:00

This really sucks because I can't think of ONE favorite memory. There are so many! OMG...I can't choose.

I suck...I know.

But you're not going to do anything about it. It's MY blog! lol

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #23 The last person you kissed

2010-12-21T14:00:00.003-06:00

Dear _____,

In response to that text you sent at 9:34 am today...

Me too! :-)

Tips on a tightrope,

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #22 Someone you want to give a second chance to

2010-12-21T09:36:00.001-06:00

Dear Deez Nuts,

Whatever

Love,

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #21 Someone you judged by their first impression

2010-12-17T09:00:00.002-06:00

Maybe it was because you were someone new.
Maybe it was that perfectly matched pinstriped suit, shirt and tie you had on the first time I met you.
Maybe it was the fact that you and I were the same age.
Maybe it was the fact that you were FOINE!
Maybe it was the fact that you were a deacon.

Either way, I was wrong!

You were indeed a slore.

Bullet #34,581....DODGED!

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #20 The one that broke your heart the hardest

2010-12-17T09:00:00.000-06:00

I addressed this person on Day 12...that's enough.

Shat!

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #19 Someone that pesters your mind--good or bad

2010-12-16T09:00:00.001-06:00

There was a day in undergrad...it had to have been the chittiest day ever (at the time). As the day ended, I was reflecting and trying to figure out why the day was so bad, and it hit me...I hadn't listened to music ALL day. It seems from that day forward, I make a conscious effort to listen to some type music. It can be elevator music, on-hold music, or music from a CD. Either way, I'm listening.

So thank you, Music...thank you for keeping me sane. I honestly don't know how I'd get through life without you.

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #18 The person you wish you could be

2010-12-15T09:00:00.003-06:00

Dear K.D.

Did you think you'd go from joining the team at BU as a walk-on to being in the WNBA!?! The max a WNBA player can make per season is $95,000. Whereas the NBA player who only plays in the 4th quarter when his team is winning by 30 points can make up to 4 times that amount! I guess when you're doing what you love...sometimes money doesn't even matter.

Keep doing you, boo!

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #17 Someone from your childhood

2010-12-14T09:00:00.003-06:00

Hey,

Amazing how our friendship ended because of a lie...dumb auss lie!

Let's recap:

You lost your virginity while I was away to school.
I came up on a gang of condoms.
I gave you some condoms because you were having sex, not me.
I got blamed for you having sex (while I was still a virgin)
I find out that you date girls.
I meet your girlfriend.
We catch up on life.
Then you tell me, "You know, I'm still a virgin."

*screeching wheels*

Wait a minute!!!

I didn't even have the heart to go back to November 2000 and remind you of the hurt I experienced...because you lied.
Your parents wouldn't let us talk anymore...because you lied.
Your "parents looked down on me...because you lied.
Your parents saw me as a bad influence...because you lied.

What a f***ing liar!!!

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #16 Someone that's not in your state/country

2010-12-13T09:00:00.000-06:00

Dear Snax,

I know you're doing big things over in "the East"...but um, I have one request.

Can you conduct a "sushi rolling" class upon your return? I'm tired of giving Tokyo Lunch Box & Catering my $5.56 once a week.

Miss ya! :-)

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #15 Person you miss the most

2010-12-10T09:11:00.004-06:00

Dear Brandon Edward Daniels,

It seems like the nights are never long enough, and morning comes too soon. Even our weekends together are limited because I decided to not be a lazy auss. But please believe, I do enjoy the time we DO spend together.

See you tonight! Keep it warm for me, baby!

K to the...

"Everyday a star is born!"

2010-12-04T09:00:00.002-06:00

Happy Birthday to all the December 4th babies.

And since this is MY blog...

Most importantly...

Happy Birthday to me!!!

30 Day Challenge: #14 Some you've drifted away from

2010-12-03T09:00:00.000-06:00

Dear You,

I hadn't heard from you on a regular basis in months. Wasn't getting any responses to texts or emails. I guess you were too busy. Yet I still prayed for you when you asked me to in your time of need.

Welp, that's all you'll ever get from me from now on.

Some prayer.

You're welcome.

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #13 Someone you wish could forgive you

2010-12-02T09:00:00.000-06:00

Dear ladies,

During my freshman year at BU, alot of jokes were told about you two. I don't know if you guys knew we were talking about your hairstyles (or lack thereof) or the way you dressed...or even heard the nicknames. But I do want to say that I apologize for my actions.

I've seen one of you since I've graduated...even spoke. But you kept it moving, and that's fine. Like I said, I apologize.

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #12 Letter to the person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

2010-12-01T09:00:00.001-06:00

Dear You,

Three sentences:
I'm over it.
You made me stronger.
Thank you.

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #11 Letter to a deceased person you wish you could talk to

2010-11-30T09:00:00.001-06:00

Dear Granddaddy,

You left when I was only 5 months old...before I could even give you a nickname. So lemme give you a Cliff Notes version of my life.

Learned to walk
Realized I don't like having dirty hands or feet
Graduated kindergarten
Taught myself how to hoop
Had my first real kiss at 12
Graduated from grammar school
Went to the best high school in the city
Played basketball for the best high school in the city
Played trumpet
Your son taught me how to drive
Graduated from the best high school in the city
Went to Bradley University
Tried out for the basketball team and made it
Lost my virginity at 19 (stop searching for your gun)
Graduated with my Bacherlors in Accounting in 4 1/2 years
Started working in the "real world" a week after graduation
At my third job
Youngest in my department
Obtained my Masters in Accounting
Live on my own
Became a Sigma Gamma Rho
Been to Mardi Gras twice, amongst other places
Took a tap dance class

I think I did pretty good in the past 28 years, don't you? Mei-Mei (That's what I started calling Ella Mae when I started talking) and Mom took good care of me. Your sons looked out for me as well. Did you know that they are just as crazy as I heard you were? :-)

I feel like I'm missing some other major events, but those are the ones that stick out to me, right now. I hope you're proud of me.

K to the...

bka

Kenya Danielle

30 Day Challenge: #10 Letter to someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to

2010-11-29T09:00:00.006-06:00

Dear ladies,

Can you believe it's been 6 years since we've all been in the same 4-block radius of each other? Alot has changed in the past 6 years. Some of the changes include:

A baby has been born;
Advance degrees have been obtained;
Advance degrees are being worked on;
Zip codes have been changed (multiple times for some)
Significant others have been acquired;
Significant others have exited stage left;
Maturity has taken over;

Can you believe we're still good friends? Thanks to the The School that Lydia Started, we've created a bond. And though I don't talk to you all everyday or every week, you all are still my girls. Anytime we get together, it's like May 2004 all over again. I love y'all.

K to the...

bka

"Keke"

30 Day Challenge: #9 Letter to someone you wish you could meet

2010-11-26T09:00:00.006-06:00

Dear Ms. Sanaa Lathan,

I LOVED Love & Basketball because it seemed like an autobiography for me. Well, the "1st Quarter" when Monica first met Quincy. After that, it was someone else's life. Anywho, I saw your skills on the court, and I see you boo! But this letter isn't about your skills, ma'am! I have a serious question that I need you to answer.

How did you get your arms to look so muscular, yet still feminine, in the movie?

I was on the basketball team all through high school. We did conditioning, including lifting weight. I even did push-ups every night before going to bed because I was determined to get some cut (#waitwhat) in my arms. But ya know what...NOTHING.

Having long, skinny arms is NOT sexy to me. Sometimes I feel like I look like this:

So, here I am, at the ripe age of 25*, 20 lbs heavier than h.s., and I still can't get any cuts in my arms. I've pretty much given up. However, I have to see my little sister, who is 13 years younger than me, with bigger wrists and arms than me hitting me with the flex! What kinda ish is this? Praise Yahweh for my calf muscles.

So, again I ask...how did you do it, Sanaa?

K to the...

*iLied...yet, again

30 Day Challenge: #8 Letter to favorite internet friend

2010-11-24T10:48:00.000-06:00

Dear Mrs Chevious,

As a member of the Twitter Elite Gang bka The Goons...I just want you to know this one thing. When you make it to Chicago, and we all kick it...It's going down!!!

Also, as a charter member of Omicron Tau Beta Fraternity Un-Incorporated, I advise that you write a letter to your liver AT LEAST a month before said outing with the goons. The letter is simple, yet it shows the liver some love; it shows that you care about your liver. So, take note and use for future reference.

The letter goes as follows:

"Dear Liver,

I'm sorry"

Can't wait to meet ya!

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #7 Letter to your ex boyfriend/love/crush

2010-11-17T09:00:00.001-06:00

Except for my first love, all of my exes have had kids with the chick after me. So this is dedicated to them!

Dear K, A & R,

Thank God for birth control and prophylactics!!! I couldn't imagine being stuck with you for 18 years of my life. I definitely dodged a bullet! *Hi5*

Love,

K to the...

& uterus

Cubicle Chronicles: Mind Ya Damn Business Edition

2010-11-17T08:42:00.005-06:00

Today's installment is about Smart Auss Sally. I believe I referenced her in April's Cubicle Chronicles.

Today, I walked in the gig pretty much on time. Had my bagel, was heading to the kitchen to get some of Lipton's finest. Why is it when I'm heading to the kitchen, someone wants to say some reckless ish to me?

One of my co-workers is a fellow Greek, a Lady of the Crimson and Creme. She and I were discussing a step show and a skating party the Men of the Black and Old Gold have every year. So, I told her I went last year and there were alot of men there; not necessarily men in our age group, but a lot of men.

So I head to the kitchen, and behind me is Smart Auss Sally.

What does she say?

"But you got a man!"

I'm in a relationship, but I'm not blind, heaux! I know what the hell I have! If I recognize men in the place, I'm going to acknowledge men in the place.

MIND YA GAT DAYUM BUSINESS!!!!

UGH, these nosy auss people make me sick!

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #6 Letter to a stranger

2010-11-16T12:42:00.001-06:00

There is a guy who I see on my bus route at least once week; either on my way to work or on my way home. He always have on a football jersey. It's pretty...interesting.

Dear sir,

Do you have anything in your wardrobe besides football jerseys; specifically, the same 4 or 5 football jerseys I see you wear? You're either rocking a Steelers, Bills, Bears, Packers...and another jersey that I can't remember. Or maybe it's just 4? I even notice that you seem to rock the Bears jersey on Mondays. Then you be "on" with the shoes to match. Dirty...yet the colors match.

Do you have any other jerseys...or maybe just a regular shirt? I randomly saw you working while I was on my lunch break two weeks ago[from the day I wrote this]. So I see you wear a uniform at work. Maybe what you wear to work doesn't matter to you. I don't know.

Do you boo! *shrug*

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #5 Letter to my Dreams

2010-11-15T15:15:00.001-06:00

Dear Dreams,

How 'bout you let me remember you when I wake up...instead of when I'm walking to the bus stop on Madison & Wabash. And what's with the sex dreams that seem so real? Get it together.

Feeling violated,

K to the...

30 Day Blog Challenge: #4 Letter to sibling or closest relative

2010-11-12T11:17:00.001-06:00

For those who know me, you know about my grandmother...the diva...my Mei-Mei. I started calling her that when I was little, and it stuck...so now everyone calls her that. Anywho, I love all my fam, but if I write a letter to my parents, I have to write a letter to Mei-Mei. :-)

Dear Mei-Mei,

You are THEE flyest grandmother I know, and I don’t just say that because you’re my grandmother. I remember walking around in your heels when I was little, which seems to be a tradition because all of the granddaughters did that. I remember sitting and watching you get dressed; watching a diva at work. Some of your diva traits have passed down to each of your granddaughters. I know you didn’t think I’d go from being a tomboy to loving to rock a fly pair of heels and show my legs. Yes, this is all because of you. But something has been bothering me as I’ve matured into a grown woman and I need to address it.

WHY ARE YOU A SIZE 9 ½ IN SHOES?!?

Mei-Mei, do you know how much I would be slaying h-…I mean, this women if I was able to rock some of those shoes that you have? Some of those high heels that you KNOW you won’t be wearing again…why do you tease my soulspace like this!?!?! This is soooooooooooo unfair! And it's nothing that can be done about this!!!

*kicks shoebox*

That's OK, I'll just buy replicas in an 8 1/2...

After I pay you back for that Alvin Ailey ticket. :-)

Love,

Kenya Danielle

Ok, We Get It: STHU Edition

2010-11-11T12:50:00.010-06:00

Lately, there have been recurring topics coming up in my lifespace and I'm at the point where I'm tired of hearing about it. I'm at the point where I'd rather watch a football game in silence because the commentators go on and on...and on about the same thing. I usually shout at the TV "Ok, we get it!"

So today's post is dedicated to those recurring topics.

Ok, we get it...you're natural. I am too...and so were the Cabbage Patch Dolls.

Ok, we get it...you didn't like Tyler Perry's "For Colored Girls". I don't expect you to buy the DVD when it comes out. Matter of fact...

Ok, we get it...you don't like Tyler Perry.

Ok, we get it...there are Black men on the DL who get HIV/AIDS and give them to their spouses. If I have to see this in another movie/TV show...

Ok, we get it...you love/hate Kobe and Lebron James.

Ok, we get it...you want twitter to fix your follower/following/tweet count because the wrong numbers is detrimental to your twitter health. Guess what...#NobodyCaresB

Ok, we get it...racism is still alive.

Ok, we get it...you're tired of these fools out here putting 22s on their cars, living the good life...but still living with their...single black mothers (see last point)

Ok, we get it...you don't like Nicki Minaj or Lil Wayne.

Ok, we get it...you're tired of the "Free [Jailed Rapper]" movement.

Ok, we get it...a lot of the rap music today is wack.

Ok, we get it...you're not gay.

Ok, we get it...you are gay.

Ok, we get it...your sorority/frat is the best and you can't see yourself wearing any other colors. No sheeit...otherwise, you'd be in those other colors. (And this is from someone in a sorority).

Ok, we get it...you have haters. I don't recall reading in Matthew, Mark, Luke OR John about Jesus constantly talking about His haters.

Ok, we get it...Black women are so difficult because we have children out of wedlock, get on welfare, buy our kids Jordans, have high standards, have too many degrees, get relaxers, rock lacefronts, we're too independent, don't cook, rock Skittles-colored hair, consider dating outside of our race, don't give fellatio between 1p - 2p, our number of sex partners is too high for your comfort, we don't like for our hair to get wet, we take birth control, blah blah and more effing blah.

Ok, we get it...you're a [astrological sign] till the day you die. However, you really don't have a choice, do you?

OK, WE GET IT!!!

Anything else I miss? Feel free to share.

30 Day Challenge: #3 Letter to my parents

2010-10-25T19:43:00.003-05:00

As you two know, "Jukebox" is one of my many nicknames. Both of you are some music heads; out jukin' while I was in mom's belly chowing down on Leon's BBQ and vanilla ice cream. So it was inevitable that I come out the womb having rhythm and constantly listening to music.

When I was little, I'd watch you two getcha step on. Pops, you were in numerous stepping contests and steady hitting up your Friday night steppers' set. Moms, I'd watch you in the living room jamming to V-103 and at the different house parties we'd go to. Stepping was so easy to you two.

But you know what...I'm a tad bit irritated. Why? Because, after all that watching, I still don't know how to turn properly when I'm stepping!!! You can't call yourself stepping without being able to do a snazzy turn! I have the basic movements...even jazz it up a lil. But when it comes to the turn, I instantly get two left feet. What's up with that, Mom? Dad? Where's my "turn-while-stepping" gene? I can do almost every dance that has come out in the past 10 years...even took a tap dance class last year...yet can't turn?

This needs to change ASAP. Who's gonna show me? You two talk it out, then let me know.

Your oldest,

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #2 Letter to my crush

2010-10-22T10:08:00.002-05:00

From the moment I heard "Spottieottiedopalicous" in h.s., I've been hooked. I was a freshman in college when "Stankonia" came out and to this day, that still album goes hard. I've nickname my humble abode "Stankonia" because of that album. I spent plenty days with the crew sophomore year zoning out to "Aquemini" as blunts were in rotation. No, I didn't smoke...life and music was my high; and maybe a cup of Absolut and papaya juice when it was time to party. Don't judge me, sir.

Then y'all did the unthinkable, and came out with a double album, "Speakerboxxx/The Love Below". I loved both albums, but it was something about yours that resulted in it having more scratches on it than your partner's. At this point, I knew I couldn't call myself an Outkast fan, and not have the first two albums, so I copped (OK, burned) "Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik" & "ATLiens." Yess, you and ya boy have been a major part of my undergrad years.

When y'all came out with "Idlewild," I honestly didn't see it as an album...I saw it as a soundtrack. But regardless, I still bought it and went to see the movie. I swear, I was the only one in the theater geeked up, singing "Moving Cool," word-for-word while everyone else was like "What is this?"

There hasn't been an Outkast album since Idlewild...and I have been fiending. However, you've been featured on some of everyone's joints, From Devin the Dude to Chris Brown...KILLING IT! And your fashion style is inimitable. Some see you as odd, but to me...mmm...I'm going.

But anywho, no more features. I need an album with you on every song...an Outkast album! Come on, Andre 3000...make it happen. And then help me scratch "Seeing Outkast in concert" off my bucket list. :-)

Crushing on you,

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #1 Letter to my best friend

2010-10-21T14:21:00.005-05:00

Dear HugMaNeck,

During the twenty plus years of friendship, we have watched each other grow from 1st graders to grown auss women. We have watched each other's younger sibling grow into beautiful young women. Now, it's almost that time to watch some of our own seeds grow to beautiful young women or handsome young men. With that said, I expect my god child to be conceived by 2012. Put the shut to the up...the sperm to the egg...and make it happen.

Love, Hug My Neck

P.S. Don't worry about when you'll get your godchild. This is about me and MY ~~needs~~ wants. lol

Random Rumblings 10.21.10

2010-10-21T14:16:00.003-05:00

What up world!

I've seen folk do the 30 Prefixed topics...or 30 day letters for their blog. So I think I will be doing that. It will help me to update my blog more regularly.

So, coming later...a letter to my best friend.

K to the...

Love & Basketball Chronicles...9.20.10 pt. deux

2010-09-20T14:56:00.005-05:00

Like I've said before, I've come across different types of men at the gym. I was so disgusted by the guys I would see, that any "gym rat", was NOT boyfriend potential, for me.

Well, my theory was proven wrong. Maybe because he doesn't have a membership at the Y. It's something about the level "bitch" in those Y cats that...

Wait, what was I saying?

Anywho, I used to be too friendly when it came to giving out my phone number. I would give guys my number, thinking they'll be cool...but then they'll turn out to be crazy, like this cat here.

So I stopped doing that ish. But I'd notice that some guys would just give me their numbers, without me asking; the same guys I had NO interest in.

Let's take it back...way back...but not really. Let's rewind to LAST YEAR (that's right, 2009).

I'm walking to my car as I'm leaving the gym and this guy walks out with me. He willingly gives me his number...I said I MIGHT call him. MIGHT! I think I may have seen him once or twice after that.

Now fast forward to July of THIS YEAR.

I see him and I say "what's up?"

He rolls his eyes at me.

O__O

I mean he rolled them so hard I should have hit him with the "You can roll em, you can control em, but you sholl can't..."

We ended up on the same team. He'll say what was necessary (ya know simple ish like "shoot the J...SHOOT IT!"1), but once the game is over, he still wouldn't speak to me.

It wasn't until last week when I was chatting with the Young Blood that he decides to speak.

So I hit him with the "now you wanna speak?" This is when he said he was mad at me because I didn't call him...LAST YEAR! He said he'll speak next time I see him....after he tried to give me his number, again!!!

What did we learn today, boys and girls?

Some men wear briefs...then you have some that wear panties. lol

K to the...

1. I was shullbitting. lol

Love & Basketball Chronicles: Hate Edition 9.20.10

2010-09-20T14:49:00.003-05:00

Hello there, sports fans.

Time for another installment in “The Love & Basketball Chronicles: Hate edition”.

This post is about the "Young Meat". For those who didn’t read my blogpost on what a young meat is, here’s a quick review.

After a two week hiatus due to the basketball courts being closed, the gym is back open. So last week, as I was waiting for my game, I went off to the side to shoot some free throws. Well, this young gentleman, who we’ll call “Young Blood” decides to shoot around with me. No problem. Then, it turns into a series of free throw shooting contests, best out of 5. I’m thinking it’s all good (as in no flirting) because this Y.B. is aware of my age.

I was wrong.

So it gets to the tie breaking shot, and he goes “7-7-3.” I laugh it off like “I know he isn’t tryna ask for my number on the sly.

He was.

And he repeats it again. I wave him off, because I AIN'T GOING!!!

Before we left the gym, he says “You owe me!” I told him I owe him a Gatorade for losing.

Better to restore your electrolytes, rather than have your ego shattered by me NOT giving you my digits.

K to the...

"Oh, that golden rule."

2010-08-26T12:35:00.004-05:00

Today’s blogpost is on my number 1 rule in life.

What is this rule you ask? Well, it’s quite simple.

SHUT THE HELL UP!

Following this simple rule will have you going places in life, son!

A) You don’t have to lie
If I don’t have to share info, then I won’t. When you share info, folk get curious and wanna ask questions. And if you don’t want folk to know certain details, you do one of two things: a) You lie, or; ii) you just shut the hell up.

“I'll go with ‘Shut The Hell Up,' for $500 Alex!”

2) You keep your friends
I had to end a “best friend”-ship because someone went and told my business and it got back to me. If I wanted other folk to know my business, I would have *wait for it* told them myself! Trust is an important factor with dealing with ships (friend and relation). You break it, ~~you buy~~…the ship is severely compromised.

Also, who wants to be friends with someone who cant hold water if they were a camel with six humps? "Not I," said the ~~poodle~~ cat.

iii) You have inside jokes
Inside jokes can be so rude, but that doesn’t mean it ain’t funny to the insiders. I have an inside joke right now and when I type it, only one other person will get it. (I need to make sure she reads this post)

“Cervical jewelry”

You think you know what this is about, but you really don’t. Will the inside joke ever been outside? No! Why?

Because we shut the hell up!

d) You won't be ignored
I don't know about yall, but I hate being ignored. Whether it's being ignored by friends, or the mice who were in my apt acting as if I wasn't there as they snacked on the peanut butter that was in the mouse traps. *shrug* Sometimes, believe it or not, folk don't really care about certain ish that's going on in your life. If folk ask, then, obviously, they're curious and want to know. If not....then I'll just...ya know...

Shut the hell up!

So what have we learned, today, ladies and gentlemen?

I'm not telling you a damn thang! lol

"Now run and tell dat, homeboy!"

K to the...

P.S. The title of the post is the title of an Episode of The Wire from Season 4. Pop culture for the muthaluving win!

Hate & Basketball

2010-08-06T20:40:00.004-05:00

What up yall! Welcome to the 2nd blogpost of the day. :-)

This is the 2nd installment in my chronicles on the court entitled "Hate & Basketball". I thought it would be ideal to share with my 5 readers my experiences at the gym.

Today, we're going to focus on the different types of guys I encounter at the gym.

1. The "Young Meat"

This is usually a young phallus-carrier between the ages of 16 and 23. He tries to holla, lowkey. It starts with a little flirting while on the court with me, then when I'm sitting down, he comes over and 99.999% of the time, the convo goes like this:

YM: What h.s. you go to?
Me: I graduated
YM: What college you go to?
Me: I graduated

2. The "Coach"

I put this in quotation marks because this person isn't a damn coach. He usually falls in the "Young Meat" category; but he feels that because he has a phallus, he has better knowledge of the game. Whereas, I have a vagina and don't know what I'm doing, besides run and make sure I dribble. He's usually the one saying:

"You've got to shoot more. Don't hesitate, just let it ride."
"I'm gonna set a screen for you and you're gonna shoot it"
"Let's run a play...Computer Blue"

Ok, maybe not the last line, but you get the point. How bout you shut up! I've been playing longer than you've been on Earth.

3. The "Underestimator"

Just this past Tuesday, my team was on a winning streak. During the 1st game, I was a bit sluggish since I hadn't hooped in over a month and was extra lax while on the court. So this "Young Meat" gets on the court and say "I'm gonna stick the girl. She's only gonna shoot...not much running around."

Ha!

I ran dude all over the court...and jizzed on him, dropping 3s all in his face.

4. The "Whiner"

This is the dude who is constantly complaining. I mean, I'm 5'6"...135lbs. You damn right I'm moving out the way when 6'12"...185lbs is charging towards the hoop, knees up. Negro gon' tell me "step in front him". What, and have a mastectomy & hysterectomy? I like my mams and uterus, thank you very much.

Every trip to the court has me either cracking up or side-eyeing until my ocular muscles can't take it anymore. But I love it...and I love the game. *shrug*

K to the...

Introducing...

2010-06-11T15:33:00.002-05:00

Hey guys!

It's unofficially the summer here in the Chi. The hoodrats are out and the White Castle on 79th St. has been jumping.

That's right...summertime Chi!

Well, summertime seems to be when I hoop more than usual. I'm not being vain, but being one of the only cute, look-like-a-female females who be hooping at the Y, I encounter alot of guys trying to hit on me.

From 15 (yeah, I said it) to almost 40.

I decided I would blog share with my 4 readers what I see/hear/encounter when I'm at the gym. So ladies and gents, I introduce to you...

"Lust and Basketball"

Today's post starts with a guy who just doesn't take no for answer. We'll call him Possum Aloysius...or P.A. for short.

I've had my membership at this particular YMCA since 2005. I think I met P.A. back in 2006. This is when I was in my friendly stage. Ya know...give a guy number if he asks...chit chat on the phone as friends.

Well, P.A. was starting to become a bit too possessive for me. I mean, would get upset if I'm conversing with another guy while waiting for my "next"...or go play 1-on-1 with someone else (Will save the 1-on-1 stories for another post). Sir, you've never seen me in anything besides a Bradley Athletics t-shirt, shorts and Nike Shox. Go satcho auss down, nah!

Anywho, P.A. start getting a little crazy...talking to me any type of way, so I ignored his auss! He'll call...I wouldn't answer. After a while, he got a clue. *Praise Moses*

Fast forward to Spring 2009, I see him at the gym. He had moved to Iowa, but was still in Chicago on the weekends or...som'n. I don't remember...which shows how much I cared, right? Anywho, he apologize for what happened in '06 and then tried to make his move, asking if we can try again.

Try what, sir?

Um...no.

Fast forward to last month. Now when I see him, it's annoying. Everywhere I am, he just so happens to be near me. I'm sitting on the floor, dripping in sweat waiting for the next game, here he comes to talk to the guy running the court about some young negroid who he schooled a few days ago.

Sir, nobody cares.

Below is a conversation that we had the last time I went to hoop. This convo is going on as I'm shooting around, waiting for the next 5 to get on the court (My team was ON on this day)

P.A.: What are you doing when you leave here?
Me: Going to get something to eat, then going home?
P.A.: Can I take you to dinner
Me: No
P.A.: Why not?
Me: Because when I go home, I'm taking a shower, then going to sleep
P.A.: We can go out to eat after you take your shower
Me: No
*sidenote: gym doesn't close till 10. At this point, it's almost 9p*
P.A.: When can I take you out?
Me: I don't want to go out with you
P.A.: Can we exchange numbers again?
Me: No
P.A.: Why not? Because of last time?
Me: I'm just not interested
P.A.: Well, how bout I give you my number, then you can call me if you want.
Me: I guess

I made sure he didn't see me when I left the gym. lol

K to the...

That's That Bull Thursday

2010-05-06T09:19:00.004-05:00

Good morning world,

The title of today's post is exactly how I felt when I woke up this morning.

Why?

Well let me tell you.

Yesterday, I had a pretty good day. Went to the doctor, picked up Mothers' Day gifts for mom and grandmother, filled up the tank and went grocery shopping. I had a very productive day outside of work.

So, if you follow me on Twitter, then you know I'm taking a tap dance class and we meet on Tuesdays. Well, this week, we did this exercise off of Jamiroquai's "Corner of the Earth" and I had been playing the song all day! When I got home, I figured I'd get a lil practice in before settling down for the night.

So, I get in the crib with all my groceries, throw on my tap shoes and I figure I'd go in for a good 4 minutes. So I'm in the kitchen, tapping....

And I see a dark blur run past my foot.

That's right.

A damn mouse!

I pause in my tracks like "That's a damn mouse!"

So, I call my mom...hysterical! I mean, I'm crying telling her it's a mouse in my apartment. Anybody who’s ever been to my crib knows I don’t leave food sitting out. The only things that’ll be out are shoes and clothes when I’m too lazy to hang them up.

I call building maintenance and let them know it's a mouse in my apartment. They say they will come by with glue traps tomorrow. Tomorrow? Uh ruh...the mouse is here TONIGHT!

After I get off the phone…do you know this little focker ran out about 2-3 more times. I screamed everytime I saw him. I mean, you just gon come out...with the lights on like you own the place? I need to ask this little focker for rent.

Below are a few of my tweets last night. Thank God for sense of humor. My twitfam’s and bff’s responses to this unfortunate situation only made it even funnier!

-I've been living here for two years! My apt is clean...so I'm just blown.
-Dammit I just seen it again!!! I screamed and it ran in my closet. I wanna cry...wait...I did when I was on the phone with my mom!!! lol
-ITS IN MY LINEN CLOSET. JESUS BE A MOUSETRAP. I CANT STAY HERE TONIGHT!!!
-HE JUST RAN IN ONE OF MY GROCERY BAGS. I just bought that damn cantalope...2 for $4. This lil nigga gots ta go!!!
-This lil nigga is playing me for a fool...disrespectful! My mom is on her way...bldg maint talmbout tomorrow. hell naw!
-I'm standing here in my tap shoes by the front door like a lil bish. I dont do roaches and rodents!
-I'm tryna be calm...but when I calm down, thats when Ben wanna show up again. I'm scared to put away my groceries!
-I'm all for glue traps..but who's gonna throw that bitch out when it gets stuck?!? ME?!?
-I was having such a good day...WTF!!!

So my mom came with some mouse traps last night. We put them out and I slept at her crib…in lil sis’s bed…on the Spongebob Squarepants sheets.

“Absorbant and yellow and porous is he!”

I just called building maintenance to make sure they close up all the holes in the apartment. I told him I didn’t sleep at the crib and the guy asks why?

WHY?

O__o

Hopefully the bastard is gone when I get home. If not, who has an extra bedroom at their crib?

Or who wants to cuddle with me? I swear I won’t fart on you.

K to the…

Cubicle Chronicles 4.29.10

2010-04-29T08:47:00.004-05:00

Good morning, ladies, gents, dogs cats, babies, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego!

It's about that time for another installment of the Cubicle Chronicles, the "Hey NuNu" edition.

There are a couple people here at the gig who I know not to say much to because I can see the invisible "Hi, my name is SNITCH" name tag they wear. Yeah, I see invisible stuff.

So in the morning, whenever I go in the break room to get my tea, if it's one of two ladies in there...I know I'm going to walk out the room with my eyes to the ceiling like "Lord, I know you're testing my patience". Well today, one of the two was in there and I just HAD to share this story.

We'll call this lady Sherlock Holme-Girl,

You know, after you see someone on the regular and speak, you ask their name so you can actually give a formal greeting instead of just saying "Hi". Well, Sherlock Holme-Girl, asked my name one day and I guess from there she thought we were just friends till the end.

NOT!

See this lady works in the department that sits behind us. EVERYone, in my opinion, is a snitch in that department. Even the lady who asked how I did my hair yesterday. She might snitch to the natural gods or som'n...I don't know. So anywho, for about a week, I would always see Sherlock Holme-girl in the bathroom around 4p. I started noticing her questions were a bit too much:

"You getting ready to go home?"

"What time are you leaving?"

"Yall can leave early on Fridays?"

"You going to Orland to do some shoppin?"

GET SOME BIDNESS!

So today was the ultimate nosiness for me. I mean, she made me think "I know my life ain't that interesting to her." I didn't stop to get breakfast this morn, so I said I'd get a pastry out the vending machine. Well, Sherlock Holme-Girl was in the breakroom and this morning's events go as follow:

Me: *walks in* Good morning
SH-G: Good morning, girl it's almost Friday
Me: Yeah I know *walks to vending machine*
SH-G: Getting something out the vending machine?
Me: Yeah
*then she walks OVER to the damn vending machine, stands behind me*
SH-G: Oh you getting a pop tart?
Me: Yeah, I didn't get breakfast
SH-G: *walks back to whatever the hell she was doing before*
*Here comes Smart Auss Sally entering stage right*
SAS: Now, I know you're not getting any candy.
Me: A Pop Tart is breakfast food
SAS: Oh I was about to say...just cuz you're little doesnt mean you can eat junk food for breakfast
SH-G: Girl if I eat a Pop Tart, I'd blow up.
Me: *thinking* "BOTH OF YALL SHUT YOUR FAT AUSSES UP!!!" *grabs tea* *leaves*

*SIGH*

It's always something...

K to the...

P.S. I don't like calling people "fat"...but when you come at my size like I'm anorexic and you don't even know ish about me, I get defensive.

P.P.S. My coworker is still saying my cousin is watching him in my pic. o_O

P.P.S.S. My co-worker, low-key, tried to call my cousin gay. "He's 36, not married, no kids...red flag!" He isn't gay...you just want him to be gay so you can have him. Go get some bidness!

Tactful Tuesday

2010-04-27T14:14:00.005-05:00

Ay!

Stop looking at me like that!

Yeah, I know...it's been a while.

*hangs head in shame*

But today a certain "Thought of The Week" we used to read in h.s. freshman year came to mind and I thought I'd share it with you guys.

If any of my readers had Ms. Sharpe, then you know ALL about this

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.
It is more important than the past,
the education,
the money,
than circumstances,
than failure,
than successes,
than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.
It will make or break a company...
a church...
a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past...
we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have,
and that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.
And so it is with you...
we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

~Charles R. Swindoll

Have a good one everyone!

K to the...

Who's Rude: Me, She, or Nature?

2010-03-29T19:38:00.003-05:00

Hello, world!

This is a RUDE auss post, ladies and gents. I recently saw an old friend and forgot to tell my girl when I first saw him. Well, this morning, I told her and we had a grand ole rude auss time roasting. Below is our textvo!

P.S. We're not roasting simply to roast...the chick done did some grimey ish. Sooo...she deserves it

Rudeness #1: His boo is sooooooo funny looking.

Rudeness #2: Lol...ur so funny. Did he speak or did he try to play u?

Rudeness #1: He spoke, but gave the phony hug, then I realized that was her behind him.

Rudeness #2: That's funny...she is very funny looking though she looks worse with no weave...lol happy for them though

Rudeness #1: She had no weave on...MESS!

Rudeness #2: Lol yes a hot mess!!!!! And I'm sure a face full of ugly makeup!!!! I hate to see her without it

Rudeness #1: It was dim...and she was still funny looking. lol Didnt see how she looked in the light.

Rudeness #2: u may have ran cause it is so not cute. Nice to have ur guard dog on standby for u at all times...lol that was wrong I didn't mean that lol

Rudeness #1: LMAO! U are rude as hell. LMAO!

Rudeness #2: LMAO...I apologize cause that was mean. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that

Rudeness #1: I'm still laughing

Rudeness #2: I know she was growling when u hugged [him]...she a very good and protective bitch...lol ok no more

Rudeness #1: LMAO! I hatechu!

Rudeness #2: No u don't...lol

Rudeness #1: Lol Ok, i dont

Rudeness #2: Rudeness #3 calls her bridezilla and it has nothing to do with her attitude LMBO

Rudeness #1: Yall are so rude! lol

Rudeness #2: No her face and fat ass is rude and [he] is just cruel for bringing her out to terrorize the world lol...

Rudeness #1: LMAO

Rudeness #2: Ok but for real if he happy then so I am...that's what he loves...they will make beautiful babies...LMAO...ok i'm just reaching with that one

Rudeness #1: LMAO! Stop it...stop it right now! LMAO

Rudeness #2: U stop it...u started it LOL

Rudeness #1: Lol Nature started it...I just made an observation!

Rudeness #2: Sometimes Nature ain't even right!!!!! Just mean I say!!!!!!!!

Rudeness #1: LMAO! Stop it...stop it RAHT now

Rudeness #1: I'm making this convo blog post lol

Rudeness #2: Lol where u posting it?

Rudeness #1: To my blog...Imma do it this evening. lol

Rudeness #2: I didn't know u had a blog...lol...but that convo was hilarity (new word)

Rudeness #1: I use hilarity on the reg. And negro, i texted yall about the blog when I first started it. lol

Rudeness #2: I'm sorry but where do I work again????? Right I'm becoming the people I work for lol

Rudeness #1: Lol contagious Alzheimers...thats a new strand

Rudeness #2: Ummm yeah...the pentagon is researching now lol

Rudeness #1: lol

Big ups and fat shouts to this fool for keeping me laughing all morning.

K to the...

ROCKING THE RED PUMP!

2010-03-10T09:23:00.006-06:00

Good morning world!

Life has been busy for me since the last post, but once “March Madness” (No NCAA) is done, then I should be back on track bringing your randomocity from my side of the world.

Today, I decided to end the hiatus for a good cause. Today, is National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (NWGHAAD)! Created by the Office of Women’s Health, NWGHAAD is March 10th of every year. Its goal is to serve as a day for women to come together to encourage dialogue and educate women and girls about the HIV/AIDS epidemic and its increasing impact.

Today is also the one year anniversary of The Red Pump Project…for whom I am the accountant. I know…my profession does NOT match my personality filled with ignance and randomocity.

But it’s what I do…what I love…and I’m honored to be a part of such a great team. Go Team Red Pump!

In commemoration of NWGHAAD, and in celebration of the Red Pump Project’s one year anniversary, The Red Pump Project will have their inaugural fashion show Rock the RED: Bold. Fashion. Awareness. The show will be held on March 25, 2010 . We will be honoring Emmy Award-winning HIV/AIDS activist Rae Lewis-Thornton with the "Ultimate Red Pump Rocker" Award. If you haven’t bought your ticket yet, what is your life about!?! Get it together!

Well, work awaits me. You all have a lovely day. And ladies…rock those red pumps…red flats…red kix like you’re the sexiest beast in the world. Give life!

And if you juicing tonight..or any night…WRAP THAT S#!T UP B!!!

I’m just serious.

K to the…

Cubicle Chronicles 1.27.10

2010-01-27T09:44:00.001-06:00

Ladies, gents, dogs, cats and parakeets!

I am still alive here in the blog world. But ever since my addiction to Twitter, my random thoughts I'd usually post here, are now being tweeted. However, I've realized all my Twitter followers don't read my blog; and all those that read my blog aren't necessarily on Twitter. So I'm going to make a better effort to post twice a week. It was thrice when I first started, but The Man (the CEO, who is actually a black woman) has me working, fa realla!

Now that I've gotten this disclaimer out the way, here's another edition of the Cubicle Chronicles.

Today's post is focused on the coworker who sits to my right. He's from the motherland, & a real sweetheart. He used to work my nerves because he does talk alot, and I'm not real talkative at work. But I've been engaging in more convo, even letting my ignance show at times.

Over, the past couple weeks, he's done some things that require me to give a o_O!

1.) On one of my cubicle walls, I have pics of fam, and my friends' kids. (Yeah, Ion't have any kids, so I have to flaunt someone else's.) Anywho, there's a group fam pic, and my cousin is in this pic. Well, my co-worker has a crush on him...just off this picture. Everytime my coworker stands up and faces me, he can see this pic. Well one day he told me...he looks at that pic everytime he stands up; says my cousin is seducing him in the pic.

O_O

A part of me wants to move the pics.

2.) One day I was at my desk after coming from lunch or a meeting; can't remember exactly, but I was away from my desk for a while. So I'm working and all of a sudden, he reaches over the cubicle wall...and places MY 3-hole punch on my desk. He said "I had to use this." Obviously, but...wait a minute, dammit! You just gon' take my ish off my desk? This the same dude who entered my cubicle, unannounced, took some of my Kleenex, then walked out.

But, um...back to my "wait a minute, dammit!" You are rude!

*sigh*

It's always something...

K to the...

Prayers to Haiti

2010-01-13T08:56:00.011-06:00

Today's post is more somber than other posts here on Fantastical Randomocity. I'm sure everyone has heard about what happened in Haiti and it's devastating. Reminds me of watching my people suffer in New Orleans after Hurrican Katrina. What's even more devastating about this situation in Haiti is knowing someone who's down there.

Sunday, I received an IM from my cousin saying he was on the last plane to Haiti. I was away from my computer, so by the time I saw the message and responded to see how long he would be there...no response. So when I find out about the earthquake...it hits me! So I text...no response. I call...straight to voicemail. My cousin calls his wife...straight to voicemail. I know cell phone service is weak there, but folk have been able to tweet and fb they are ok. So I wrote on his fb wall....just hoping I could get some response from him. Hopefully when he gets some power back to his phone...he'll text me back.

SOMETHING!!!

I see images of people sleeping in the street...caught under rubble and I can't help but to think, "Is my cousin out there? What about the baby?"

So prayers to Haiti today...and I'm saying a special prayer for my cousin and his family.

Also, click on the banner to donate to the relief fund. Or you can text "yele" to 501501 to donate $5. The $5 will be added to your cell phone bills.

Come on yall...every little bit counts!!!

K to the...

Cubicle Chronicles 1.7.10

2010-01-07T14:36:00.005-06:00

Good [insert your current time of day] everyone!

This week has been a trying week here at the gig. So instead of me just being the usual K to the..., I now have to show these people why there are three letters behind my name in my email signature.

So for this installment in cubicle chronicles, the subject is communication?

Maintain a CYA file!
Having a Cover Your Auss file is muy importante in the the world of email today. Just yesterday, a lady told my mgr she didn't receive a file from me. I politely checked my sent folder...and FORWARDED the original email to her. Of course, she hits me with some wack excuse! Let me just point out the original email was sent to my mgr as well, so he could have spoke up for me (yeah right). But he didn't recognize I sent the email because *wait for it* he doesn't read...which leads me to...

I "CC:" you looking, witcho lookin' auss
There are times when I receive emails in which I've been CC'ed. The email may not be necessarily for me, but ya know, it's for me to have as reference. Well, yesterday big boss sends an email to my mgr, but copies me. I read it, understood it, on to the next email (Hov!). Today, my mgr forwards me the same email. READING IS FUNDAMENTAL!!! If you had read over the entire email, you would have seen that I received this email already.

I say again, READING IS FUNDAMENTAL!!!
So my co-workers and I, being the smart ausses we are cuz we're fed up with b.s., have signs that say "LUNCH" that hang on our cubicles when we're eating lunch at our desk. So, I'm sitting here chillin, reading the news, flossing after eating some chips that were death to my taste buds. Here comes Ditzy Magee walking pass my desk. She sees the sign and the convo goes as follows: DM: What does this say? (Sidenote: The sign is in English)
Me: *turns around with floss pick hanging from mouth* It says "LUNCH"
DM: Oh as in you're on lunch, well I'll just come back when you're done
Me: *Thinking: NO bring yo auss now, so I won't have to see you later* No, it's ok, what is your question?
She then proceeds to say as I'm helping her "I don't want to interrupt."

*sigh*

Well, my lunch is officially over, and I just took my sign down. I supposedly sit on the Internet and talk on the phone ALL DAY...so let me get back to what I do. If I'm gonna be a slacker...might as well be great at it!

Feel free to share any chronicles you may have...or techniques on how I can ~~take these people out~~ handle these situations...

Besides from laughing at these fools!

K to the...

Back to the future

2010-01-04T10:21:00.005-06:00

Hey young world!

It's 2010...start of a new decade, ya dig.

Sooo...now that my PTO has carried over into this year...

TIME TO REQUEST SOME DAYS OFF!!!

That's right, the Award Tour is back in full effect. Nawlins, ATL, Delaware, DC & NC are on the radar for this year...in addition to road trips in the Midwest.

Where do you plan on going this year? Bring me a magnet and a shot glass!

K to the...

P.S. If you're older than 22 years ago, talmbout "I'm gettin' it in, in 2010" with "swagger"...please, SAT yo auss down!

2009 in review...

2009-12-30T16:45:00.006-06:00

In today's post, I will outline all I encountered in 2009 that made me the grown auss woman I am today. It's deep...so sit down and stay awhile as you read this list.

Ready?

Seady?

Ok.

I LIVED! Thank you, and good night!

*drops mic*

*takes bow*

*LAUGHING OUT LOUD bka "LOL"*

Happy New Year everyone!!!

Cubicle Chronicles 12.21.9

2009-12-21T08:57:00.006-06:00

Good morning everyones and everyones.

Some of you know...I work for a nonprofit organization in the city of Shick-a-go! We're kinda a big deal...fa real. So I take what I do seriously as Senior Queen Princess Duchess of Grant Accounting Greatness.

Anywho, my job moved downtown in October and I have returned to the land of cubicles. No biggie for me, because I've worked in an open area before. But it's pret-ty OBVIOUS some of my coworkers haven't been in Cubicle Land before and was spoiled by the offices we all used to have.

[The previous location was in a hospital dorm. The rooms were converted to offices, so there were 1-2 people in each office.]

So today's post is summary of what I've encountered since being back in Cubicle Land.

1. Run me that number!
When we moved, all the fax machines weren't set-up. I was assigned a fax number, but had no fax machine to go with it. So I go to another fax machine to receive an important fax. I asked the lady who sits by the fax machine for the fax number and the lady told me she couldn't give it to me. Um, lady...this ain't YO fax machine. Run me that damn number. I ended up getting number from someone else. Maybe she just didn't like me cuz my name rhymes with hers and my lips are pink...whereas hers, black rose. *Kanye shrug*

2. Knock before entering
I have a thing about personal space. So when you wanna come around showing me pics of your bald-headed two-year old (pointing out the fact that she's bald-headed, even though I overlooked that), don't be coming up on me whispering sour nothings in my ear talkin' bout "look at my baby!" You betta announce yourself or get clapped up!

3. I can smell that
When I sit down at my desk, I can barely see over the walls, which is cool. The walls block my sight, but they fa damn sho don't block my sense of smell. Folk be spraying air freshener like others cant smell it. And they don't just spray a little...they spray ALOT! Or maybe it seems like a lot because I have a strong nose. Either way, I smell it.

4. Snitches get stitches
My seat isn't too far from the lunchroom. But with the heat being on, and music playing in my left ear...I don't hear much from a far. Well, one day, it got a little loud in the lunchroom...and some lady who isn't even supposed to be sitting on our floor got up and told the folk in the lunchroom they need to lower their voice cuz folk were working. Well, I guess it happened again last week...and the same woman (I'm pretty sure it was her) went to HR...resulting in an email being sent to everyone in our building. Next time I overhear her phone conversation, arguing about some nonsensicality...I'm telling HR!

5. Ay, can you just shut up!
Anyone who knows me knows my career of choice does NOT match my personality. At work, I am quiet...I say good morning, have a little chit chat, but that's it. I have alot of associates and friends, Therefore, not acquiring more at work doesn't hurt my life. So, I don't wanna hear "Imma make you talk"...cuz Imma give yo auss a blank stare, ok?

Well folk...that's just a snippet. I haven't even talked about my constant pain in the auss here at the gig. My nerves obviously regenerate themselves because this dude always seems to be working the last one!

Anywho, till the next Cubicle Chronicles..."you stay classy San Diego."

K to the...

P.S. This post was bought to you by CTA bus route #26. It wasn't packed, so I was able to type without folk looking all in my phone.

Thoughtless Thursday 12.10.9

2009-12-10T00:25:00.004-06:00

I've been slacking like a mofo on this here. Well I've been busier than *insert random, ignant auss comparison here*

First, let me say my birthday weekend was fantabulous. 1800 and Ciroc were my friends for the night...and there were no Westerns* that night. I had a nice four-day weekend of chillaxation...and Wii!

Yaaaayyyyy-yer!

Anywho, on Tuesday, when I returned to work, my wanna-be superior had me having a straight hissy fit. I mean, I went in HARD on him on Twitter for a good 5 minutes.

Long story short, he took what I did...made some adjustments, and then tried to pass it off as something he did. Furthermore, he tried to explain to ME what HE did...like the ish was new to me.

Negro please!

I know this has happened to some of you before...someone tryna take credit for your ish. The next time that happens to you...

...take a cue from Stewie below!

K to the...

*Western = Throwing up. Derives from a road trip to Western Illinois University last October. One of my girls forgot to eat before we drank...and she threw up bka "pulling a Western".

GO SHAWTY...

2009-12-04T11:57:00.003-06:00

IT'S MY MUTHALUVING BIRTHDAY

And, for once, I won't lie about my age in a post.

I was born 12/4/82...that's right, 27 years ago!

Call me old if you want...I still look younger than you, witcha 21 year old auss! lol

I tried to have a combo birthday party with Jay-Z, but he's so busy...not returning my calls.

Wait, Ion't even have his number!

Well, let me get back to doing absolutely NOTHING!

Have a good weekend everyone!

Mystery Monday 11.30.9

2009-11-30T10:19:00.002-06:00

Good morning all!

I was on some true ignant ish last night and was tweeting my thoughts of the BET Awards 2009 Winter Edition bka the Soul Train Awards.

But after watching the awards last night, I can't help but to wonder. So maybe you wonderfer people can help me out.

Ready?

Seady?

How can a show that hasn't come in years have an awards show?
How can the person who is the creator of the show NOT be at the awards show?
Why won't Debra Lee go sit down?

That is all. Happy Monday!

P.S. The anniversary of me arriving on earth this week...countdown is ON, snitchessssssssss!

P.P.S. Follow me on Twitter...KDW824

P.P.S.S. Nothing, just wanted to type "P.P.S.S."

"Funny, how time flies when you're having fun..."

2009-11-24T15:53:00.004-06:00

Good [insert time of day you're reading this HERE] everyone!

The day thanks and gluttony is almost amongst us!

I'd like to send a big UGH to my co-worker who is on vacay till next Monday! She put up her Christmas decorations, forcing me to look at garland on top of the cubicle wall we share since last Tuesday. She even gave me some left over garland to use on my desk. I threw that ish in BACK of my bottom drawer.

I LOVE the holiday season, but I can politely wait till AFTER Thanksgiving to decorate...

I don't decorate my office space for the holidays anyway, sooo...

Moving along.

I always get this giddy feeling in my tum-tum around this time of the year. Never fails...like clockwork. You have Thanksgiving...official beginning of the holiday season the next day...and some 8-13 days after Thanksgiving...it's my birthday!

But this year it's different. I have this giddy feeling, along with so many memories of what I've done during this 24th* year of my life.

If you know me and have me saved as a friend on facebook....then you already know!!! I definitesly (Yeah, defiNITESly) got it** in this year! January through April, I was gone at LEAST one weekend out the month. I mean, I was gone so much in March, my ComEd bill was under $20.

It was THAT serious.

And if I wasn't out of town, I was getting it** in right cheah in Shick-A-Go.

What's my point?

Time definitely does fly when you're having fun.

And my time is on a space shuttle to the moon, son!

So, I say to you:
My family
4T's & an N
WY Dolphins
BU Braves
OTB
Sorors
Sawrahs (That dayum chapter, Phabulous & Phly)
Krewe of Treachery
and everyone else I've kicked it with***

thanks for joining me on the ride! :-)

K to the...

*I'm going to stop this lie on my birthday...and start a new lie & say I'm 25. Thanks
** I still don't know what "it" is
*** Look, I can kick it and ACK a fool with just about anyone. But because I care, if you want a special shout out, I'll shout you out in the comment section. (You big baby! lol)

"Where they do that at?" Wednesday

2009-11-18T13:07:00.004-06:00

Let me just say that I do not use the phrase in my title on a regular basis. Was just trying to stick with the alliteration, ok?

Anywho, I have a random question for yall and I need an answer.

Is it rude to expel gas in a public restroom?

And if it isn't, then why do I be in the bathroom tryna hold-in any expulsion that may occur so folk don't be thinking "Girl, she gots some serious gas"; so folk won't give me the side-eye when I come out the stall to wash my hands.

Ladies, don't you dare ACK like it's just me.

So I ask you, wonderful people...

To poot or not to poot in a public restroom?

That is the question!

K to the...

Thoughtful Thursday 11.12.09

2009-11-12T00:56:00.009-06:00

May the things that make me Sigma
Be the things that guide my day,
May the torch of dear Aurora
Light the path along my way.
May my life be so exemplary
That everyone will know
Just by my deeds, that I am
Apart of Sigma Gamma Rho.

-Soror Eleanor Richardson

QUALITY OVER QUANTITY!!!

Happy Founders' Day, SoRHOrs!!!

Thoughtless Tuesday 11.10.9

2009-11-10T12:15:00.004-06:00

What up folk (No G.D.)!

This post is absolutely thoughtless...so...um...yeah...read on!

Today's date is indeed 11/10/09...11.10.9.

Tomorrow marks the beginning of WTF...Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

Thursday is my sorority's founders' day. If you randomly spot someone on Thursday at ya work place rocking royal blue and antique gold...let her have her 1922 seconds of glory, ok?

Sammy Sosa is turning white. Ok, ok, ok...I know it's a possible skin condition. Calm down...calm down.

Katt Williams got arrested, with a mugshot looking like he was saying "I am so happy to be here." (Yess, Akeem)

A CTA bus crashed into someone's home this morning. Glad nobody was seriously hurt, but the driver took curbside service to a whole 'nother level.

The Critters of the Midway known as the Bears just can't get right.

I have yet to watch a Bulls' game this season! *hangs head in shame*

I honestly don't see what's funny when I tell folk I'm taking a dance class.

And I learned, today due to minimal tolerance I have today, that there is a such thing as a dumb question...no, a dumb@$$ question!

That is all for today. My mind is clouded with mucus and paradiddles*. lol

K to the...

*Look it up!

Thoughtless Tuesday 11.3.09

2009-11-03T12:51:00.008-06:00

These thoughtless thoughts on this Tuesday are brought to you by Dunkin Donuts hot chocolate. America runs on it because there’s crack in it!

Ya know what…I pulled that Left Eye costume off better than I thought I would. Ion’t care what anyone says. I wish I had the bright color pants…but the aura was there!

Ya know what…there’s a reason you’re a former (ex b/f, ex boo, ex dipetc) so there’s no need for you to keep tabs on my love life. Yo initials ain't "LP", so get some business.

Ya know what…anyone with whom you can have the most random convos…from different types of turds to the “tackle and berries” ratio is definitely a BFF, like “LP”. Lol

Ya know what…you ain’t right for sending pics of your phallus to my email…and then a month later you’re engaged. Isn’t that being kinda rude to your g/f-turned-fiancée?

Ya know what…if you’re on the verge of getting your AARP card and you tryna start s#!t over the internet…go sit yo auss down, file for your SSI before you break your damn hip. Leave that for the under 21 crowd. Twitter, nor facebook, makes you hard cuz you, unlike a real man, won’t say ish when I’m in your face!

Ya know what…you ain’t right, C. Breezy for that album cover. It’s “wiggity wack”, which leads to..

Ya know what…where the hell is Kris Kross?

Ya know what…730a is too early for you to be on the phone, talking loud on the CTA about “You tryna go smoke…you only got $3?”

Ya know what…the nonverbal ALWAYS speak louder than the verbals. Just ask the little negroid who I shut up…twice…on the court yesterday without saying a word.

Ya know what…there comes a point when your sorors aren’t just sorors anymore. You actually consider them to be your friends…and I’ve experienced that with quite a few of my sorors.

Ya know what…I really wish my coworker would stop laughing when he’s telling a story. It’s never funny… and causes me to look at him like this…expressionless!

How grant reports are funny, Ion’t know. Maybe he reads em in a comedian voice. *Kanye shrug*

Ya know what…I have the biggest crush on my dance instructor, I can barely give him eye contact in class. I love a dark-skinned man with fresh locs. My instructor is light-skinned with a bald head. *swoons*

Ya know what…it annoys me when I can’t listen to music on the bus without adjusting my earplugs every 3 minutes. The hole leading to my ear canal is too small. *pause* lol Get ya mind out the gutter…

Ya know what…being complimented by a man with no ulterior motive is the best thing in the world. I was called gorgeous this morning as I grabbed the crack known as Dunkin Donuts' hot chocolate.

Ya know what…I might feel, at times, like strangling one of my exes, but being forced to watch football when we were together and listen to him sound like the adults on Charlie Brown when talking about fantasy football made me appreciate the sport even more. And seeing those toight booties in the toight pants being toight like a tiger isn’t bad either. *drools*

Ya know what…if I don’t get back to Nawlins ASAP, it’s gonna be trouble!

Ya know what…I have my own clippers and I line my neck every two weeks because the clippers my beautician uses makes my neck look like she was playing tic tac toe on my neck.

Ya know what…Twitter really is the devil. But it keeps me entertained!

Ya know what…I think my job needs to get a fb page, so then fb won’t be blocked at the job. I mean, they’re on Twitter! *side eye*

Ya know what…my birthday is a month away, and I don’t know what I’m gonna do.

Ya know what…next time a homeless person asks me for $.75, I’m gonna give a $1. And if they ask the next person for $.75, I’m taking my damn dollar back. Just call me an “Indian giver.”

Ya know what…looks definitely AREN’T everything! I almost reverted back to a former, but thought about the b-a-ness displayed, and decided to just leave that alone. Lol

Ya know what…it seems to be perfectly normal to spend $8 on lunch in downtown Shick-A-Go. I can’t go…not EVERYday! Gonna have to pick a Hot Pocket, son!

Ya know what…lady, we’re in the same room, so lower ya d@mn voice. Running up my light bill.

Ya know what…the meeting was scheduled to be over at 12:30p. You still asking questions at 12:43p. Shat up!

Ya know what...I think I somewhat cussed at my mom on Sunday. She explained a situation to me and I was like “So you almost sharted on yourself?” Now, we all know what a shart is…so, yeah…I think I kinda sorta maybe but not really cussed at my mom. lol

Ya know what...I'm done!

K to the...

"But patience is a virtue, being anxious just might hurt you..."

2009-11-01T23:27:00.002-06:00

*This post has been chillin as a draft since September 30th! *tsk tsk* Well, I don't have anything else to do...so here it goes.*

Well, December will make three years since the last time I had a relaxer. See...I didn't do it to try to seem "more black". I mean, I'm light-skinned...and tans fade away. So, technically...I can't get "more black"!

This whole going natural thing started off as me trying to see how long I could go without a relaxer. After a year, I decided to just *points to barrel of water* gon' head & keep the party going. Now I'm debating on if I want locs, eventually.

But before I do that, I'm the process of growing out this "custom" color my beautician put in my head beginning in '07. I say "custom" because that's exactly what my beautician said when I asked her the name of the color. Look, I don't need folk to lie to me to make me feel special. I see the damn color on a Dark 'N Lovely kit at Soo Kim' Beauty Supply. Don't do me, lady! *side eye* So anywho, after this color is grown out, then I'll decide on what's next. That's alot of waiting...alot of patience!

As I approach the 24th year* of my life (Sagittarians, stand up!) I realize more and more each day that if you really want something, it's not going to come to you when you want. It's going to come on God's time. So in the meantime, you gotta practice patience. From joining a sorority to finally being able to take a tap dance class 20 years after seeing "Tap"...I have the patience of an effing** saint!

It's in my blood son!

K to the...

*iLie again.
** Is it blasphemous to use this euphemism before the word "saint"?

P.S. Cool points to whomever can tell me from what song this post's title comes.

"Straight up...pimpin, if you want me you can find me in the A!"

2009-10-26T17:05:00.003-05:00

I know, I know...I'm slacking with my posts.

Dangit, I said I KNOW!

As you can see from the title of this post, I'm in the A for training for work. Not bad, not bad. They do need to put a Waffle House downtown, though. Then maybe...JUST maybe, I could eat Waffle House for the first time while sober...and before midnight.

Don't judge me.

Anywho, I spent time with some of my favorite girls Friday AND Saturday.. and boy did I have a blast. So much of a blast, I can't even be upset that I lost my phone, which was like a computer on my hip.

Anywho, after spending time with my peeps...I must say that I am fortunate to have these young women in my life. So for the women out there who always say "I only hang with guys, I don't hang with females...too much drama"...

It's real unfortunate that you don't have girls like I do.

K to the...

P.S. If anyone can tell me what comes on USA during the week at 6p EST, that would grand. I swear, every time I look up...they freaking. Dang, at least wait till the sun goes down...

Message Monday 10.19.9

2009-10-19T14:40:00.004-05:00

Hey young world,

I'm a bit late with the post today. I was off on Friday, so I had to do work. Yeah, I know...shut my mouth WIDE open!!!

So today for lunch, I had a dee-lish and ever-so-filling-one-course meal for lunch.

A Hot Pocket!

You jealous?

So anywho, my dessert of choice was a 6-pack of the classic mini donuts...POWDERED! Now we all know, these donuts are messy as "that thang"*. To top it all off, I have on dark pants today. So I already know to be wary of how the donuts are being devoured so I won't have folk on the bus looking at my pants like I got some "afternoon delight" bast** on my pants.

So today I'd like to share with you a surefire way to eat powdered donuts without looking like you've been "Lewinskyed"

Have a napkin with you, a bottle of water, and rock one of THESE in your favorite color.

It works! I'm on donut #4 and it ain't a stain on me!!! lol Get like me!

K to the...

* - I still don't know what "that thang" is
** - Past tense of "bust". Look it up!***
*** - iKeed...but you were gonna do it, weren't you?

"...cuz I love you to life...you a teenager, so you might not want my advice.."

2009-10-14T09:37:00.006-05:00

Good morning folk (No G.D.)

This morning's random post is inspired by a serious talk I had with my little sister after she turned 14 a couple months ago. Seeing as though I'm 22*, that means I've been where she is now. So, today, I thought I'd share some words of wisdom that you, too, can tell your teenage-sister when it's time to have "The Talk."

Ready?

Seady?

ok.

"Don't have sex...or your vajayjay will fall out!"

Then give em this look

Good day!

K to the...

*iLie

"'Stank stank' means you got the funkiest..."

2009-10-07T10:32:00.009-05:00

First let me say, writing a blog can be time consuming...especially when you're trying to update at work and folk try to give you work to do. Oh, you want me to EARN this salary, sir? Earn deez!

So today's Hump Day post isn't as haphazard as others. But I think speaking on this will make the world a better place...for you, me and the entire human race (Yess, Michael)

I have a strong nose, so some ish I smell can be really detrimental to my nose hairs at times. Look, I know everyone has their bad breath moments...I am no exception! But when those moments occur ~~more than usual~~ e'ryday, then dangit, something needs to be done!

Every morning, this guy comes in my office and seems to forget to take his bad breath with him when he leaves. It's like he uses every word that has the 'h' syllable, causing him to exert more breath when he talks; and he talks ALOT. I don't even want to stand face to face with him to talk.

It's that serrus!

I'd like to think I'm a pretty tactful person. But when it comes to breath so bad, it can gag a donkey...I just don't know what to say. I mean, unless you are a monkey, the top lip is usually no more than an inch from your nostrils. So you mean to tell me these people can't smell what's being emitted through their oral orifice?

So, how do you say, "Ay man, yo breath be kickin'...may I interest you in a lifetime supply of Stride" without having to duck because they're trying to tell you what the fingers said to the face?

With me returning to the world of public transportation...I know I'm gonna encounter even MORE of the Bad Breath Bobs and Bettys.

I guess I'll just continue to hold my breath, and pray I don't pass out!

K to the...

"And I wonder..." 10.6.9

2009-10-06T14:21:00.005-05:00

You ever feel like you just care too much?

That's exactly how I've been feeling lately, and I just can't shake it. Like the weight of the world is on my shoulder.

For once, I'd like to ~~be a b*tch~~ not care, but I can't. It's the Sagittarius in me.

Care for DEEZ!

K to the...

P.S. Yess, two posts two days in a row. Tomorrow's Wednesday...you know what that means! That's right...Hump Day Haphazardness *Giggity*

"People never get the flowers, while they can still smell 'em..."

2009-10-05T08:55:00.008-05:00

I have been busier than a one-legged punt kicker at the gig the past couple of weeks. We're moving downtown...and beginning to use new accounting software. So that means I've had to EARN my pay. Yeah, I know...who does that in the land of cubicles. :-)

My city, Chi-City, has been in the news in a bad spotlight for the past two weeks with the violence. Yesterday, the violence hit close to home with the loss of a colleague of mine. I was speechless and hurt as I held the phone at 843a hearing this terrible news. But it hurt even more to see how others were dealing with the loss...from my sorors to my fellow Carnations (T.S.O.P.) to Greeks to Bradley Braves to Chicagoans.

Based on all the facebook statuses, notes, and even my memories...he left behind a legacy of being a father of two, a son, a man of Phi Beta Sigma, a Mason, and most importantly a man full of life who was fun to be around, cared for others, and blew your mind with his intelligence. Quite simply, and pardon my French (which is really English), he was THAT NI**A!

So today, I ask you...

What will your legacy be when you're gone?

Good morning!

K to the...

"..if not so, I'll be too too bad...when it comes to pink polka dots and plaid.."

2009-09-28T13:21:00.012-05:00

Last week I said "They should never gave you niggas money...webcams and twitter."

Guess who's on Twitter now!

*smacks forehead*

Why? I was bored Friday night after din-din! Oknomorequestions!

There are times (ok, everyday) when I have random, ignant thoughts running through my head. And since I care, I don't want to take over folk's newsfeeds on fb by constantly updating my status. It grinds my gears when folk do that! So now, I can just tweet those multiple thoughts.

I can't believe I just used "I" and "tweet" in the same sentence.

So I'm at kdw824. Since my profile isn't set to private...you can still check me out without having an account.

Am I a hypocrite? Yess! I have stepped over to the dark side. Hey...at least I admitted it.

Am I an addict? Nah! I purposely don't have updates coming to my phone...so excuse my CPT responses if you @'ing me.

Yeah, I said "@'ing"

Have Marvelous Monday, everyone...and hug your neighbor. You may never know when you'll need some sugar for that Kool-Aid. The red "flavor" of course. ;-)

K to the...

P.S. Eight cool points to the person that knows where the title of this post comes from. Bonus cool points for those who've caught on to the titles of my previous posts.

Could it be I stayed away too long..."

2009-09-23T09:16:00.010-05:00

Ladies, gents, cats, dogs and parrots too...lend me your optical orifice!!!

It's Wednesday! It's a Hump Day! *giggity...awriiight* So today I bring you some Hump Day Haphazardness.

a) I'm willing to bet 2 pennies that the people who can't park in between the lines in parking lots...were the same ones who couldn't color inside the lines in kindergarten!

2) Who's brilliant idea was it to show the Michael Jackson movie for ONLY two weeks? I mean do they not know of this man's impact on the universe? Even E.T. and ALF are coming back for this show.

C) They shoulda never gave you niggas money...webcams (Stephon Marbury) and Twitter (Fabolous)
Cc) Why do I know all about the goings ons of twitter, and I'm not even on there!?!?

IV) People who updated their crackbook statuses and twitter simultaneously are lazy! I mean, nobody on crackbook cares about what you're saying to "@uknouwantdis"

E) I swear, EVERY speech Obama has given has been broadcasted. At least once a week, on msnbc.com, there's a link to a speech he's about to give that can be watched live. I even saw a link to a speech he was giving his daughters after they had their firsts tests at their new school. WT!
Ee) Why are they writing a book about the Obamas' marriage? Did anyone write one about the Clintons' seeing as though good ole Bill had relations with that woman?

VI) I hope as Chris Brown tries to "clean up" his image, he gets some speech lessons and do exercises that will help him with his memory. Juicy mouthed with a touch of amnesia...not a good combo, CBreezy.
"I don't remember anything...like wow...wow...I don't remember...it was like wow...wow"

Definitely need more people!

G) I've heard of people doing some stupid ish, but making up email accounts to send "anonymous" emails is just plain stupid. Words of wisdom: the email can be traced back to the computer from which the email was sent. *Cue DJ Nehptes "You Big Dummy" juke mix* Let's smarten up, dummies.

viii) What is up with all these superstars getting exposed with these naked pics or sex tapes?

9) I have come across some of the weirdest/funniest internet lingo from NTTAWWT (Not that there's anything wrong with that) to WTDTA (Where they do that at?) to 2520. I can see it already, my mini-me coming home from kindergarten talking like this: "Ma, DYK that Kendal, was EUATC today and he GIT and had to SITC.
Translations: Ma, did you know that Kendal was eating up all the cookies today and got in trouble and had to sit in the corner (Not "sex in the city")

Have a Wonderful Wednesday!

K to the...

"Everyday a star is born...clap for 'em, clap for 'em...heeey!"

2009-09-22T09:52:00.008-05:00

It's Tuesday and ya girl is feeling good. I mean, snoozing for only an hour as opposed to an hour and half can really change your mood in the morning. *side eye*

Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE music. This love of music goes back to when I was younger....I'm talking during my gestational age. Yess, it's that serious. I remember it vividly*...February 1980-something, mmkay? Moms and Pops was jukin all while I was chillin in the womb...it was only right that I came out doing the same.

So, when the Troll was still losing teeth on the regular, she was taking dance classes. Well about 3-4 years ago, she took a form of dance and at the recital, I finally broke my silence and told my grandmother I always wanted to take this sorta dance class. She berated me for not saying anything. What is this form of dance?

Tap!

CHALLOOOOOOOOOOOOONGE! *sprinkles powder on floor*

In 1989, Gregory Hines, Sammy Davis Jr and a young Savion Glover starred in the movie named "Tap". It was something about the sounds these guys made with their feet that interested me. Ion't know what it was, but ever since I saw this movie, I've been intrigued!

So here I am, 20 years later...this evening...going to my 2nd day of tap class. And I am geeked!!! If I can get some metal plates on some NIKE Vandals...it's on!!!

My beautician asked "Are you running out of things to do with your life?" I thought it was pretty funny. But no, I'm not running out of things to do with my life. Geez I'm only 22*!!! But if there is something I really want to do...I'm going to do it.

And I'm going to excel!!!

Like my guy, Real T@lk said, "I'm secretly the $#!t, and you don't even know it yet!"

So today I say, if you had your mind set on doing something...go for it. I'm tryna scratch things off my bucket list...you should do the same!

PULPIT...and of course...CHUUUCH!!!

K to the...

*iLie

"There'll always be haters, that's the way it is..."

2009-09-16T10:04:00.008-05:00

I saw comments on a friend's status this morning and I was inspired to speak on one of the words in the title of today's post. Like I say, "There's always one." I''m talking about:

Haters

I describe a hater as a person who secretly wants what you have, but since they don't...they proceed to diss in order to make themselves feel better for lacking. A hater can also be describe as someone whose a Debbie Downer or Bitter Bobby that always has something negative to say about your positive. I like to call these folk P.A.I.s*! Here's an example of something a true hater would say: "Look at this chick with her full-time job and trying to make moves. She's always smiling for some reason. She's cool with everyone! Look at her over there...just happy. I can't stand her!!!"

Please note, my definition does not include someone who doesn't agree with something you say. I see this is when the supposed haterism seems to come into play. Maybe I'm naive, but I'd like to think we, as adults, should be able to handle these little things in life called OPINIONS! So if I say blue is the best color, and you say green is...I wont call you a hater! I'll just call you color-blind.

iKeed

So today, I beggeth you, my fellow readers...stop calling EVERYONE a hater and thinking everyone is hating on you. Katt Williams tells folk to reach a "hater quota" and folk just run rampant with it. Ugh! Maybe folk just don't want to hear you constantly talking about yourself. Or maybe...just maybe, folk simply don't like or too much care for you.

And that's fine.

I'm cool with ALOT of folk; then there are a select few I could do without in my life. Does that make me a hater? No! I can still be cordial, but as far as kickin' it, braiding each other's hair at sleepovers...negative!

I honestly don't know who all is hating on me...and personally, I don't care and I don't dwell on it. If you dwell so much on your "haters"...then you will become one...hating on those supposedly hating on you.

So I say..."Just live ya life!!!"

Heeeeeeyyy eeeeyyyy eey eeyyyyyy eey eeyyyyyy (Yess, Ms. Fenty)

Some of you may call my post hating on those who think they always have someone hating on them.

To you, I say...

SO!

That is all.

K to the...

*Pessimistic Auss Individuals. However, the "P" and "I" can be substituted...depending on one's mood.

"You think yo ish don't stink...but you are (Mr)s P.U...."

2009-09-14T09:02:00.010-05:00

So everyone is talking about the VMAs and what 'Ye did last night. I just got one question:

What do you think was in 'Ye's cup last night?

I saw a pic of 'Ye with a bottle of Hennessy in his hand, but..."Man Naw" (Word to the Troll*)! He had to have been drinking something else before he brought the Hennessy. I think 'Ye was sipping on a Blue M'F'er. Four those who haven't indulged in "The Blue", let me explain. It's a DRANK that has four types of liquor in it...ToKillYa, Vodka, Gin & Rum topped off with some Blue Curacao! Two of them gets me roight and toight...

...like a tiger (Yess, Goldmember)!

So I think 'Ye may have had 3 of them.

What do yall think 'Ye was sipping on?

K to the...

*Lil sis

"...my sign is a Sag...this is just what I planned to do...oh don't be mad"

2009-09-10T12:03:00.009-05:00

Yess, the title is a quote from Jay-Z.

Yess, I'm a Sagittarian!

Yess, Jay-Z and I have the same birthday!

Yess, I LOVE Blueprint 3!

Yess, I bought it the morning it came out and was ONLY 10 minutes late for work

Yess, I don't know what your life is about if you're a fan, and you don't have this album in your possession!

Yess, you are cheap for trying to download it or get it "for the low"...and not pay the $10...and you have a steady job!

YESS!!!

Blueprint 3...CLASSIC!

Yess, someone disagrees.

Yess, I really don't care. lol

Hug a simple person today! Sometimes the world is just too complex for some.

Happy Thursday!

K to the...

"...go 'head and breathe it in like antihistamine."

2009-09-07T22:29:00.011-05:00

Tomorrow is back to the real world for me, and I am SO ready. I was out sick with "strippers' throat"* pretty much all last week. So it feels good to burn some gas making that 30 minute drive to the gig.

Being out with nothing to do but watch Maury and catch Grey's Anatomy on Lifetime at 5p *wink*, I had a lot of time to think about ish. And if you really know me, then you know my mind is CONSTANTLY going.

Let me just say, being single when you're sick is the wackest ish EVER! Not saying I don't appreciate my family and friends, because I do. My best friend came by and brought me some soup...and she had just had the pee-new-moan-ya** a few weeks prior. But, neither my mom nor best friend can ~~rub on my booty~~ cuddle with me and tell me it'll all be better. That was the first time I was sick while living on my own, so it just sucked all around.

And I felt lonely!

That's right. I have alot of pride when it comes to my feelings towards men. I can cut a nigga off in a minute, but it takes ALOT for me to admit when I'm hurt by someone I really cared about. Guys who bribe me with basketball shorts don't fit into this category. *snicker* So I'm saying it...

I was feeling lonely last week for a couple days!

In my fantastically random mindset, "lonely" and "alone" can be broken down as follows:

Alone - By one's self
Lonely - By one's self, saddened by the fact you have nobody around to stroke your ~~ego~~ face and tell you ~~"If you die, I'll kill ya, ya hear?"~~ ~~"I don't think you're beautiful, I think you're beyond it."~~ "You complete me!"

But anywho, I said all that to say this...I'm joining a convent! I won't have to worry about anything concerning men because...I would be asexual. Then I won't have to worry about anything besides changing my underwear since my clothes are pretty much picked out! Now, that's the life, son!

iKeed

This morning when I watched the sunrise for the last unofficial day of the summer, I asked God to continue to give me patience as I wait for the right one to come along for me. Folk always say "Let go, and let God"...well, I did that, so I'm done dwelling on it.

Hopefully.

Until that one comes long for me, I'll continue to be entertained by niggas begging me to be their friends on facebook because they care about me being their friend!

Maybe I'll copy that message thread in my next post.

*giggles*

K to the...

*Strep throat. When my girl said she heard I had "strippers' throat," I died inside...because it hurt my throat to laugh out loud. :-)
**Pneumonia <----the correct spelling is just too damn unorthodox

"Muthaluva I'm ILL, not SICK...and I'm ok..."

2009-09-03T18:30:00.008-05:00

Because laughter always makes me feel better (in addition to antibiotics), here's some funny ish I've been watching today. Not much fantastical randomocity going on this week...just tryna get well!

Enjoy the vids!

Where the cookies and s#!t?!?

Ke-ke....we at yo funeral!

Not just the city, the world, Craig! Been jacked by Santa Claus...

We don't need to run coordinator...

Hot fun in the summertime (NOT!)

2009-08-31T17:12:00.010-05:00

[I usually confess my love/disdain, for summer via a fb status. But...I didn't want to change my status. lol Blogs ARE good for sum'n]

Dear Summer,

I just might be coming down with a cold. I would LOVE to call it a summer cold...

BUT I CAN'T!

Why for what? Cuz you didn't show up for work like you were supposed! You're like the Milli Vanilli of seasons! Chicago hasn't seen any paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarts* of a 100 degree heat index!

*stacks fists*

On my momma, yo auss is grass!

K to the...

*Kill yo self if you don't know where this comes from

Fookery for your Friday!

2009-08-28T12:48:00.008-05:00

I have been on this earth for 300+ months and I swear of all my homies from way back when...I'm the only one who isn't booed up! Makes me no never mind...my time will come. However, the following textvo below is one of the reasons why I feel my time has NOT come just yet. I pray to 8lb, 6oz Baby Jesus my future son isn't as dumb as this negro!

Background: I met this nimcumpoop while hooping at the gym a couple weeks ago. Well, he caught a bish fit (after a week of knowing each other) because I asked him a question in order to gain clarity on a question he asked me. Well...he hung up on me! I told him to lose my number, which he claimed he already deleted from his phone. AWESOME! The following textvo let's me know it was all a LIE!

*side note* This has been copied and pasted verbatim from my inbox...no editing. This is raw (no sushi) footage here, ladies and gents!!!
*side note #2* You will know who's said what. And yess...that is how his name is saved in my phone

Asshole-DNA* (4:20 PM):Hey u
Me (4:30 PM):hi
Asshole-DNA (4:31 PM):How r u I just thought about u so I thought I would check on u
Me (4:32 PM):I'm cool
Asshole-DNA (4:37 PM):That's good to know im sorry we got off to a bad start but I really wanted to get to know u
Me (4:38 PM):You blew your chance...
Asshole-DNA (4:40 PM):Wow that's harsh idk y I didn't even do aything
Me (4:52 PM):You hung up in my face. I guess thats nothing to you...
Asshole-DNA (4:53 PM):N im sorry and didn't mean too it was chlidish
Me (4:55 PM):Ok. ANd like I said earlier, you blew your chance...
Asshole-DNA (4:57 PM):Ok well that sucks there aint nothing I can do ??? U can have them shorts u like or we can shoot to give me a fresh start
Me (4:59 PM):nope
Asshole-DNA (5:00 PM):Well u still old me dinner that I do know n u must got another guy or something but its good
Me (5:01 PM):That bet is null and void...and I'm still single...thank you.
Asshole-DNA (5:02 PM):Wow u just void my award for winning that sucks
Me (5:07 PM):What makes you think I'd still wanna go to dinner with you...gotdamnyou're funny.
Asshole-DNA (5:08 PM):Oh ok wow ill just leave u alone ur mean I was just tryna b cool
Me (5:13 PM):ok

Yess, this ninja bribed me with some effing basketball shorts...then still expected me to go to dinner with him! And he's 23...he was doomed from the start. But nothing wrong with being friends, right? I was gonna see him on the reg at the gym, anyway!

My auss has been totally off since yesterday @ 4:57p...I don't think I can laugh it off anymore!!!

Do I feel bad for posting this on a public blog and putting him on blast?

I'm gonna go with "Hell No" for $500 Alex!!!

Watch I see this bastard next week! *sigh*

Happy Friday Everyones...and everyones!

K to the...

*DNA = Do Not Answer...for those of you who don't have the pleasure of having stalkers in your life.

You on the other side of the glass, of my memory's museum...

2009-08-26T09:41:00.017-05:00

Good morning pimps and pimpettes. Going along with the title of this here ya dig I've started, today I bring you a (hopefully) weekly edition of Random Rants.

Aaaaannnnnd....ACTION!

a.) What was handed to Chris Brown was a bit much...compared to what other futhamuckas have received after beating their women REPEATEDLY, including endangering the life of children. If it wasn't Rihanna, I don't think his punishment would have been as much. I'm not condoning D.V. in anyway, but I'm just saying...

2.) My grandmother tells me THEE funniest stories about me as a child. Today's story: At the tender age of 3, while visiting a family friend, I had on sandals and my feet got dirty. I went to tell my mom and she said "Get over it!". Luckily, Mei-Mei* had my back...and we went to wipe off my feet. If it wasn't for that save, I would be walking around thinking it's ok for my feet to look like this:

http://www.stompin.net/wp-content/uploads/2006/11/dirty_feet.JPG

c.) I got my first tat back in May! The whole time I was getting tatted, I had THEE ugliest frown on my face saying "I'm not doing this again," but secretly plotting on where the next tat was going to be. I've decided...hand prints on the butt cheeks!!!**

iv.) I love Beyonce, but she bogus for the "I Am..." concert being the same as the "Beyonce Experience." Either way, I'm still buying the "I Am..." DVD when it comes out. Call me ka-razy if you want...cuz I don't know karate.

5.) The following phrases/words irk me!

"I got so much swagger, I swear swagger tryna sue me" [side-eye to Weezy]
"Get it in..." [What is "it"?]
"I'm going ham..." [Still don't understand the metaphoric use of "ham"]
"She's such a ham.." [So she likes to sit on the table, honey glazed, with pineapples on top]
Hubby [What is he, a lost Teletubby?]
Wifey [Darn you, RL!]
Pineapple [OK, not really]

f.) I think folk should give props to people who aren't married with kids, instead of side-eyeing asking what's wrong with me because I'm alone. Alone doesn't equate to lonely, numbnuts!!! You think it's easy filtering through the shullbit that comes my way as a single woman everyday in the 21st century? Why can't I have an "Not having a wedding" shower or a "not having a baby" shower? HEH!?!? Where's the gift registry for the single folk, Wal-Mart!?!

VII.) I don't care for all the hype about Amber Rose (And please, don't try to elaborate), but seeing her stomach motivated me to get back on my abdominals, son! lol

8.) Saturday marks the 4 year anniversary of when Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast. I was in New Orleans for Mardi Gras and STILL saw some of the effects of the storm. I didn't make it to the 9th ward, but I wonder what it looks like now...

I.) My girls and I came up with this theory after we graduated from college and it hasn't been proven wrong yet: If a man is at least three years older than you, he's mentally as mature as you are. Waiting for someone to prove this theory wrong...just once!

X.) I know I'm not the only person who feels responsibility is nonexistent when returning to the university from which they've graduated. I make my return to my Alma mater this weekend and I must say..."Keke" will make an appearance.

That is all, for now. Feel free to share any random rants you may have! Post it in the comments section of the blog (facebook lurkers) and make me ~~look important~~ feel special. lol j/k

Naw, I'm fa serious. lol j/k

Ok, I'm not j/k

:-)

*Mei-Mei is my divalicious grandmother. And she doesn't give a hoot what you think of her because: "I'm 71-year-old...I'm just happy to still be here!" Some of my spunk comes from her....

**Kill yourself if you thought I was fa serious!

K to the...

I've said 25,896 times before, and I'll say it again...

2009-08-24T09:13:00.016-05:00

This blog was inspired by what was in my work mailbox this sunny Monday morning! Today I ask:

Why don't people READ?

The phrase "reading is fundamental" has been embedded in my brain since ~~I was a baby genius reading at the age of 2~~ grammar school. When one reads, it eliminates the side-eye he or she will receive because they asked a dumb question that wouldn't have been asked if you would just read!

And you wouldn't wanna receive a side-eye like this, would ya?

http://www.igville.com/2009/05/lethal-side-eye.html

So I work for a nonprofit organization*. Since we receive money from the guv'ment...it's a must that we get audited. So the auditors are auditing one of the federal grants I'm in charge of. Yeah, that's right, "in charge of"...I'm kinda the shiznit around these parts, son!!!

Ok...maybe just the 'nit.

Anywho, the auditors need to see copies of paystubs the employees receive to confirm that the employees were paid. I talked to a lady in HR about the auditors request...AND sent an email with a list attached. A week and a half later and what do I find in my mailbox this morning?

Timecards

Can someone explain this equation: Paystubs = Timecards

So now I have to go to the auditors and tell them ONCE AGAIN...I still don't have what they're looking for. This is some shullbit (Word to 'Kast)!

Thank you...and goodnight!

K to the...

*Nonprofit organization is an organization which is service-oriented, not operating for the sole purpose of making money i.e. hospitals, universities (Bradley U, my Alma mater, is an exception). Yess, I've had grown people ask me what a "nonprofit organization" is. I guess I should tell them what "context clues"** are too.

**context clues are...go dig a hole!

Who'd thunk it!

2009-08-21T09:32:00.013-05:00

Well, ladies, gents, cats, dogs, and babies...I have entered!!! *Cue "Coming To America" dance sequence*

Some of you may already know me...some of you may not. Well, allow me to reintroduce myself...my name is not Hov.

But K to the...K. Dizzle...Kizzle...or just simply K.D.

I decided I would enter the blogosphere because...look, it's only so much you can say on a facebook status and twitter (I'm not on twitter, and don't plan on it anytime soon). And I'm fa serious. I used to write a gang of notes on facebook...just random ish, but I took a sabbatical and came back and all my ish was gone! Mark Zuckerberg is still on my hit list. Anywho, I figure I would have more freedom in the blogosphere, so here I is!!!

So, why do I have "andeyewonder.blogspot.com"? Well, my mind is always wondering...especially in the car; and "andiwonder" was already taken. So, no...my eye doesn't wonder. My eyes are perfectly aligned...in all of their near-sightedness. Thanks.

So what shall you expect? Well, let's see...RANDOMOCITY! Let me tell you where this randomocity stems from. As a child growing up on the South Side of Shick-A-Go, Ill-A-Know-Is...it was just my mother, grandmother, and myself. Then ~~someone slipped my mom a mickey~~ moms got pregnant and The Troll* arrived. So for a good 13 years, I was on my own...so the imagination is extremely vivid, son! My friends couldn't be at my house 24/7...so thank God for Nintendo...because having a gang of board games requiring 3 or more players was just heart-wrenching. Imagine trying to play Wheel of Fortune by yourself...

You can't!!!

Anywho, I may speak on some of everything here...from relationships to Greek life to why boogers are different shades of brown. Anything is possible....and impossible is nothing (no Adidas).

With that said, I pose this question to you:
Does the inside of our nose have a smell? And if so, how do we know if we're smelling the inside of our nose...or what's outside of the nose, in the air?
Nobody has been able to answer this question for me. Maybe my luck has change in 2009!

That's all folks. Please feel free to ~~stalk~~ follow my blog. Thank you...and you're welcome!

K to the...

*The Troll = My 14 year old sister.

Fantastical Randomocity

#BARS: Rapid Refund Edition

Random Rumblings

So, yesterday...

Who run the world? BIRDS!

Grown-up life: Overrated

Man plans, God laughs

Courtesy to whom!?

#DatLostWeightStruggle

"And it came to me...like an epiphany..."

Ok, We Get It: Part deux

Hear My Call

#DatComfortWeight

Taking the car out of neutral...

"[S]he had game cuz [s]he used to hoop in Chatham..."

Cubicle Chronicles 5.5.11

"...to the east side"

*insert title here*

*sigh*

"You think y'all kick it...but, boy we puntin..."

"Drunk nights get remembered more than sober ones..."

This time...last year...

First things first...

30 Day Challenge: #30 Your Reflection in the mirror

30 Day Challenge: #29 The person that you want to tell everything to, but too afraid to

30 Day Challenge: #28 Someone that changed your life

30 Day Challenge: #27 The friendliest person you knew for only one day

30 Day Challenge: #26 The last person you made a pinky promise to.

30 Day Challenge: #25 The person you know that is going through the worst of times.

30 Day Challenge: #24 The person that gave you your favorite memory

30 Day Challenge: #23 The last person you kissed

30 Day Challenge: #22 Someone you want to give a second chance to

30 Day Challenge: #21 Someone you judged by their first impression

30 Day Challenge: #20 The one that broke your heart the hardest

30 Day Challenge: #19 Someone that pesters your mind--good or bad

30 Day Challenge: #18 The person you wish you could be

30 Day Challenge: #17 Someone from your childhood

30 Day Challenge: #16 Someone that's not in your state/country

30 Day Challenge: #15 Person you miss the most

"Everyday a star is born!"

30 Day Challenge: #14 Some you've drifted away from

30 Day Challenge: #13 Someone you wish could forgive you

30 Day Challenge: #12 Letter to the person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

30 Day Challenge: #11 Letter to a deceased person you wish you could talk to

30 Day Challenge: #10 Letter to someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to

30 Day Challenge: #9 Letter to someone you wish you could meet

30 Day Challenge: #8 Letter to favorite internet friend

30 Day Challenge: #7 Letter to your ex boyfriend/love/crush

Cubicle Chronicles: Mind Ya Damn Business Edition

30 Day Challenge: #6 Letter to a stranger

30 Day Challenge: #5 Letter to my Dreams

30 Day Blog Challenge: #4 Letter to sibling or closest relative

Ok, We Get It: STHU Edition

30 Day Challenge: #3 Letter to my parents

30 Day Challenge: #2 Letter to my crush

30 Day Challenge: #1 Letter to my best friend

Random Rumblings 10.21.10

Love & Basketball Chronicles...9.20.10 pt. deux

Love & Basketball Chronicles: Hate Edition 9.20.10

"Oh, that golden rule."

Hate & Basketball

Introducing...

That's That Bull Thursday

Cubicle Chronicles 4.29.10

Tactful Tuesday

Who's Rude: Me, She, or Nature?

ROCKING THE RED PUMP!

Cubicle Chronicles 1.27.10

Prayers to Haiti

Cubicle Chronicles 1.7.10

Back to the future

2009 in review...

Cubicle Chronicles 12.21.9

Thoughtless Thursday 12.10.9

GO SHAWTY...

Mystery Monday 11.30.9

"Funny, how time flies when you're having fun..."

"Where they do that at?" Wednesday

Thoughtful Thursday 11.12.09

Thoughtless Tuesday 11.10.9

insert title here

sigh