Cubicle Chronicles: Oh, really!?!

Yesterday, while diligently working, my boss comes over to have a chat with my coworkers and I.

Idiot: How would you all feel about being outside in 52-degree weather?"

*Silence amongst myself and coworkers*

Me: What is going on?

Dumbass: Have y'all heard of the "Pegway tour" downtown?

Me: You mean the Segway tour? Yeah, I've heard of it.

Douche: Yeah, I want to do a tour next week. *shows printouts from Internet* And the warmest day next week will be 52 degrees.

Me: I mean, I can bundle up. You do know that with us being on the Segways, there will be a breeze. We'll be downtown, off the lake. It might be a bit chilly.

Estupido: Yeah. Well, an alternative could be a restaurant downtown.

Me: What is the special occasion?
Dummy: I'm tired of working. Just need a break...a day off.

OH REALLY, MY NIGGA!?!

I thought you liked sending emails on Saturday and Sunday nights. 

I thought you liked NOT closing the office the day after Thanksgiving and being the only one in the office.

I thought you liked coming in at 7a and not leaving until 8p.

You need a break!?

Feel free to take that Segway tour in 52-degree weather, with a wind chill of 40, by yourself. We'll gladly enjoy a break from YOU!

K to the...