Bifcake Chronicles: T-I-Red

I’m tired of men.

I’m tired of men wasting my unlimited text messages.

I’m tired of men who are really f*ckboys, and the people who enable their f*ckboy behavior.

I’m tired of men not respecting the f*cking boundaries I set. Do I seriously have to go Ella Jackson on men, and risk being called a bitch, for them to understand that I mean what I said?!

While getting my day pordee on this weekend, I received a text from someone I hadn't heard from since August. Back then, I clearly told him I wasn't interested in being his girl. Anybody who is a fan of "Dr." Umar Johnson is not someone I want to be with. I clearly stated we can still be cool or cordial when we see each other; no hard feelings.

Back to Saturday, after realizing who it is (number was no longer in my phone), I responded with pleasantries and there was some back and forth. At some point, the correspondence takes a turn for the worst:

So now, his number is blocked.

I. Am. Tired!

K to the...

Randomocity - 1.22.18

-Since the start of the new year, the time I spend on Facebook and Instagram has decreased dramatically. I don't scroll much to see what's going on in other folks' lives. I'll scroll for a few posts, then exit. If I post something, I'm coming back only to respond to comments. I know I am missing out on a lot. And I’m OK with that.

-I saw someone post a question on FB asking what is the latest folk want to start having kids. This made me think about what 22-year-old KD’s plans were. By this age, my oldest should be in kindergarten by now; and I should be celebrating somewhere between 5 - 10 years of marriage this year.

Bwahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

-A status from 2017 popped up in my FB memories last week about men asking women, on the first date, if they've had an abortion. Guys were commenting on my status trying to justify why someone would ask that question (Newsflash: You can't justify why someone would ask that question) and it made me think of the previous beau telling me what he adores about me and goes:

"...and you haven't had any abortions. Wait, you haven't had any abortions, right?"

Me: "That's never an appropriate question to ask. How would you feel if I asked if you paid for any abortions?"

-"Why? What's the worst thing R. Kelly has ever done?" - question asked by a man at a party this past weekend after I said R. Kelly on, so I'm not dancing at the moment.

-I had a conversation with an 88-year-old at my gym about dating as a widower. If I was at least 45 years older, I'd definitely hang out with him. He was so cool.

-Last year, on Ash Wednesday last year, I said I was going to be in New Orleans for Mardi Gras in 2018. I'm 3 weeks away from being in my favorite city. Someone else will have to pass out beads at the gig this year.

-DJ Envy and Charlamagne Tha God sounded soooooo ignorant while interviewing Amara La Negra on The Breakfast Club. Ugh!

K to the...

Bifcake Chronicles: Plenty of NAWL

On the last Friday of 2017, due to pure boredom while waiting on a technician to repair the furnace, I created an account on Plenty of Fish (POF). I did this strictly for entertainment. Well, it was a mixture of entertainment and "If you don't get the fuh..."

I only had my account for 48 hours (LOL) because it's only so many ridiculously lame intros I can take. One dude was so ridiculous with his intro, I had to ask “Is this a serious question?”

What did he ask?

If I had to put in a lot of effort to be as beautiful as I am (ya know, using make-up and everything), or is it natural?

*pours wine on phone*

Another dude asked what I was doing June 2018, because he was going to wine and dine me, then take me to Jamaica, and some other fantasy ish. Then he said we’d live “somewhat happily ever after.”

Somewhat?

I can't be fully happy!?

In the “Conversation Starter” section of my profile, I stated “Yes, I play basketball. No, you can’t play for my heart,” because maugs think they are so clever with that “Love & Basketball” quote.

One guy asked “Can you play ball or do you just like to watch?”

Reading is fundamental, man.

Another guy said it didn’t seem like I played ball…because I was too cute to sweat.

*throws phone in toilet*

I personally know someone who met their spouse on POF.

That won't be me, though.

And I'm OK with that.

Happy New Year #nshit

K to the…