Tuesday, November 30, 2010

30 Day Challenge: #11 Letter to a deceased person you wish you could talk to

Dear Granddaddy,

You left when I was only 5 months old...before I could even give you a nickname. So lemme give you a Cliff Notes version of my life.

Learned to walk
Realized I don't like having dirty hands or feet
Graduated kindergarten
Taught myself how to hoop
Had my first real kiss at 12
Graduated from grammar school
Went to the best high school in the city
Played basketball for the best high school in the city
Played trumpet
Your son taught me how to drive
Graduated from the best high school in the city
Went to Bradley University
Tried out for the basketball team and made it
Lost my virginity at 19 (stop searching for your gun)
Graduated with my Bacherlors in Accounting in 4 1/2 years
Started working in the "real world" a week after graduation
At my third job
Youngest in my department
Obtained my Masters in Accounting
Live on my own
Became a Sigma Gamma Rho
Been to Mardi Gras twice, amongst other places
Took a tap dance class

I think I did pretty good in the past 28 years, don't you? Mei-Mei (That's what I started calling Ella Mae when I started talking) and Mom took good care of me. Your sons looked out for me as well. Did you know that they are just as crazy as I heard you were? :-)

I feel like I'm missing some other major events, but those are the ones that stick out to me, right now. I hope you're proud of me.

K to the...


Kenya Danielle

Monday, November 29, 2010

30 Day Challenge: #10 Letter to someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to

Dear ladies,

Can you believe it's been 6 years since we've all been in the same 4-block radius of each other? Alot has changed in the past 6 years. Some of the changes include:

A baby has been born;
Advance degrees have been obtained;
Advance degrees are being worked on;
Zip codes have been changed (multiple times for some)
Significant others have been acquired;
Significant others have exited stage left;
Maturity has taken over;

Can you believe we're still good friends? Thanks to the The School that Lydia Started, we've created a bond. And though I don't talk to you all everyday or every week, you all are still my girls. Anytime we get together, it's like May 2004 all over again. I love y'all.

K to the...



Friday, November 26, 2010

30 Day Challenge: #9 Letter to someone you wish you could meet

Dear Ms. Sanaa Lathan,

I LOVED Love & Basketball because it seemed like an autobiography for me. Well, the "1st Quarter" when Monica first met Quincy. After that, it was someone else's life. Anywho, I saw your skills on the court, and I see you boo! But this letter isn't about your skills, ma'am! I have a serious question that I need you to answer.

How did you get your arms to look so muscular, yet still feminine, in the movie?

I was on the basketball team all through high school. We did conditioning, including lifting weight. I even did push-ups every night before going to bed because I was determined to get some cut (#waitwhat) in my arms. But ya know what...NOTHING.

Having long, skinny arms is NOT sexy to me. Sometimes I feel like I look like this:

So, here I am, at the ripe age of 25*, 20 lbs heavier than h.s., and I still can't get any cuts in my arms. I've pretty much given up. However, I have to see my little sister, who is 13 years younger than me, with bigger wrists and arms than me hitting me with the flex! What kinda ish is this? Praise Yahweh for my calf muscles.

So, again I ask...how did you do it, Sanaa?

K to the...

*iLied...yet, again

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

30 Day Challenge: #8 Letter to favorite internet friend

Dear Mrs Chevious,

As a member of the Twitter Elite Gang bka The Goons...I just want you to know this one thing. When you make it to Chicago, and we all kick it...It's going down!!!

Also, as a charter member of Omicron Tau Beta Fraternity Un-Incorporated, I advise that you write a letter to your liver AT LEAST a month before said outing with the goons. The letter is simple, yet it shows the liver some love; it shows that you care about your liver. So, take note and use for future reference.

The letter goes as follows:

"Dear Liver,

I'm sorry"

Can't wait to meet ya!

K to the...

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

30 Day Challenge: #7 Letter to your ex boyfriend/love/crush

Except for my first love, all of my exes have had kids with the chick after me. So this is dedicated to them!

Dear K, A & R,

Thank God for birth control and prophylactics!!! I couldn't imagine being stuck with you for 18 years of my life. I definitely dodged a bullet! *Hi5*


K to the...

& uterus

Cubicle Chronicles: Mind Ya Damn Business Edition

Today's installment is about Smart Auss Sally. I believe I referenced her in April's Cubicle Chronicles.

Today, I walked in the gig pretty much on time. Had my bagel, was heading to the kitchen to get some of Lipton's finest. Why is it when I'm heading to the kitchen, someone wants to say some reckless ish to me?

One of my co-workers is a fellow Greek, a Lady of the Crimson and Creme. She and I were discussing a step show and a skating party the Men of the Black and Old Gold have every year. So, I told her I went last year and there were alot of men there; not necessarily men in our age group, but a lot of men.

So I head to the kitchen, and behind me is Smart Auss Sally.

What does she say?

"But you got a man!"

I'm in a relationship, but I'm not blind, heaux! I know what the hell I have! If I recognize men in the place, I'm going to acknowledge men in the place.


UGH, these nosy auss people make me sick!

K to the...

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

30 Day Challenge: #6 Letter to a stranger

There is a guy who I see on my bus route at least once week; either on my way to work or on my way home. He always have on a football jersey. It's pretty...interesting.

Dear sir,

Do you have anything in your wardrobe besides football jerseys; specifically, the same 4 or 5 football jerseys I see you wear? You're either rocking a Steelers, Bills, Bears, Packers...and another jersey that I can't remember. Or maybe it's just 4? I even notice that you seem to rock the Bears jersey on Mondays. Then you be "on" with the shoes to match. Dirty...yet the colors match.

Do you have any other jerseys...or maybe just a regular shirt? I randomly saw you working while I was on my lunch break two weeks ago[from the day I wrote this]. So I see you wear a uniform at work. Maybe what you wear to work doesn't matter to you. I don't know.

Do you boo! *shrug*

K to the...

Monday, November 15, 2010

30 Day Challenge: #5 Letter to my Dreams

Dear Dreams,

How 'bout you let me remember you when I wake up...instead of when I'm walking to the bus stop on Madison & Wabash. And what's with the sex dreams that seem so real? Get it together.

Feeling violated,

K to the...

Friday, November 12, 2010

30 Day Blog Challenge: #4 Letter to sibling or closest relative

For those who know me, you know about my grandmother...the diva...my Mei-Mei. I started calling her that when I was little, and it stuck...so now everyone calls her that. Anywho, I love all my fam, but if I write a letter to my parents, I have to write a letter to Mei-Mei. :-)

Dear Mei-Mei,

You are THEE flyest grandmother I know, and I don’t just say that because you’re my grandmother. I remember walking around in your heels when I was little, which seems to be a tradition because all of the granddaughters did that. I remember sitting and watching you get dressed; watching a diva at work. Some of your diva traits have passed down to each of your granddaughters. I know you didn’t think I’d go from being a tomboy to loving to rock a fly pair of heels and show my legs. Yes, this is all because of you. But something has been bothering me as I’ve matured into a grown woman and I need to address it.


Mei-Mei, do you know how much I would be slaying h-…I mean, this women if I was able to rock some of those shoes that you have? Some of those high heels that you KNOW you won’t be wearing again…why do you tease my soulspace like this!?!?! This is soooooooooooo unfair! And it's nothing that can be done about this!!!

*kicks shoebox*

That's OK, I'll just buy replicas in an 8 1/2...

After I pay you back for that Alvin Ailey ticket. :-)


Kenya Danielle

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Ok, We Get It: STHU Edition

Lately, there have been recurring topics coming up in my lifespace and I'm at the point where I'm tired of hearing about it. I'm at the point where I'd rather watch a football game in silence because the commentators go on and on...and on about the same thing. I usually shout at the TV "Ok, we get it!"

So today's post is dedicated to those recurring topics.

Ok, we get it...you're natural. I am too...and so were the Cabbage Patch Dolls.

Ok, we get it...you didn't like Tyler Perry's "For Colored Girls". I don't expect you to buy the DVD when it comes out. Matter of fact...

Ok, we get it...you don't like Tyler Perry.

Ok, we get it...there are Black men on the DL who get HIV/AIDS and give them to their spouses. If I have to see this in another movie/TV show...

Ok, we get it...you love/hate Kobe and Lebron James.

Ok, we get it...you want twitter to fix your follower/following/tweet count because the wrong numbers is detrimental to your twitter health. Guess what...#NobodyCaresB

Ok, we get it...racism is still alive.

Ok, we get it...you're tired of these fools out here putting 22s on their cars, living the good life...but still living with their...single black mothers (see last point)

Ok, we get it...you don't like Nicki Minaj or Lil Wayne.

Ok, we get it...you're tired of the "Free [Jailed Rapper]" movement.

Ok, we get it...a lot of the rap music today is wack.

Ok, we get it...you're not gay.

Ok, we get it...you are gay.

Ok, we get it...your sorority/frat is the best and you can't see yourself wearing any other colors. No sheeit...otherwise, you'd be in those other colors. (And this is from someone in a sorority).

Ok, we get it...you have haters. I don't recall reading in Matthew, Mark, Luke OR John about Jesus constantly talking about His haters.

Ok, we get it...Black women are so difficult because we have children out of wedlock, get on welfare, buy our kids Jordans, have high standards, have too many degrees, get relaxers, rock lacefronts, we're too independent, don't cook, rock Skittles-colored hair, consider dating outside of our race, don't give fellatio between 1p - 2p, our number of sex partners is too high for your comfort, we don't like for our hair to get wet, we take birth control, blah blah and more effing blah.

Ok, we get it...you're a [astrological sign] till the day you die. However, you really don't have a choice, do you?


Anything else I miss? Feel free to share.