Dear You,
Three sentences:
I'm over it.
You made me stronger.
Thank you.
K to the...
Showing posts with label what ev. Show all posts
Showing posts with label what ev. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Cubicle Chronicles: Mind Ya Damn Business Edition
Today's installment is about Smart Auss Sally. I believe I referenced her in April's Cubicle Chronicles.
Today, I walked in the gig pretty much on time. Had my bagel, was heading to the kitchen to get some of Lipton's finest. Why is it when I'm heading to the kitchen, someone wants to say some reckless ish to me?
One of my co-workers is a fellow Greek, a Lady of the Crimson and Creme. She and I were discussing a step show and a skating party the Men of the Black and Old Gold have every year. So, I told her I went last year and there were alot of men there; not necessarily men in our age group, but a lot of men.
So I head to the kitchen, and behind me is Smart Auss Sally.
What does she say?
"But you got a man!"
I'm in a relationship, but I'm not blind, heaux! I know what the hell I have! If I recognize men in the place, I'm going to acknowledge men in the place.
MIND YA GAT DAYUM BUSINESS!!!!
UGH, these nosy auss people make me sick!
K to the...
Today, I walked in the gig pretty much on time. Had my bagel, was heading to the kitchen to get some of Lipton's finest. Why is it when I'm heading to the kitchen, someone wants to say some reckless ish to me?
One of my co-workers is a fellow Greek, a Lady of the Crimson and Creme. She and I were discussing a step show and a skating party the Men of the Black and Old Gold have every year. So, I told her I went last year and there were alot of men there; not necessarily men in our age group, but a lot of men.
So I head to the kitchen, and behind me is Smart Auss Sally.
What does she say?
"But you got a man!"
I'm in a relationship, but I'm not blind, heaux! I know what the hell I have! If I recognize men in the place, I'm going to acknowledge men in the place.
MIND YA GAT DAYUM BUSINESS!!!!
UGH, these nosy auss people make me sick!
K to the...
Monday, September 20, 2010
Love & Basketball Chronicles...9.20.10 pt. deux
Like I've said before, I've come across different types of men at the gym. I was so disgusted by the guys I would see, that any "gym rat", was NOT boyfriend potential, for me.
Well, my theory was proven wrong. Maybe because he doesn't have a membership at the Y. It's something about the level "bitch" in those Y cats that...
Wait, what was I saying?
Anywho, I used to be too friendly when it came to giving out my phone number. I would give guys my number, thinking they'll be cool...but then they'll turn out to be crazy, like this cat here.
So I stopped doing that ish. But I'd notice that some guys would just give me their numbers, without me asking; the same guys I had NO interest in.
Let's take it back...way back...but not really. Let's rewind to LAST YEAR (that's right, 2009).
I'm walking to my car as I'm leaving the gym and this guy walks out with me. He willingly gives me his number...I said I MIGHT call him. MIGHT! I think I may have seen him once or twice after that.
Now fast forward to July of THIS YEAR.
I see him and I say "what's up?"
He rolls his eyes at me.
O__O
I mean he rolled them so hard I should have hit him with the "You can roll em, you can control em, but you sholl can't..."
We ended up on the same team. He'll say what was necessary (ya know simple ish like "shoot the J...SHOOT IT!"1), but once the game is over, he still wouldn't speak to me.
It wasn't until last week when I was chatting with the Young Blood that he decides to speak.
So I hit him with the "now you wanna speak?" This is when he said he was mad at me because I didn't call him...LAST YEAR! He said he'll speak next time I see him....after he tried to give me his number, again!!!
What did we learn today, boys and girls?
Some men wear briefs...then you have some that wear panties. lol
K to the...
1. I was shullbitting. lol
Well, my theory was proven wrong. Maybe because he doesn't have a membership at the Y. It's something about the level "bitch" in those Y cats that...
Wait, what was I saying?
Anywho, I used to be too friendly when it came to giving out my phone number. I would give guys my number, thinking they'll be cool...but then they'll turn out to be crazy, like this cat here.
So I stopped doing that ish. But I'd notice that some guys would just give me their numbers, without me asking; the same guys I had NO interest in.
Let's take it back...way back...but not really. Let's rewind to LAST YEAR (that's right, 2009).
I'm walking to my car as I'm leaving the gym and this guy walks out with me. He willingly gives me his number...I said I MIGHT call him. MIGHT! I think I may have seen him once or twice after that.
Now fast forward to July of THIS YEAR.
I see him and I say "what's up?"
He rolls his eyes at me.
O__O
I mean he rolled them so hard I should have hit him with the "You can roll em, you can control em, but you sholl can't..."
We ended up on the same team. He'll say what was necessary (ya know simple ish like "shoot the J...SHOOT IT!"1), but once the game is over, he still wouldn't speak to me.
It wasn't until last week when I was chatting with the Young Blood that he decides to speak.
So I hit him with the "now you wanna speak?" This is when he said he was mad at me because I didn't call him...LAST YEAR! He said he'll speak next time I see him....after he tried to give me his number, again!!!
What did we learn today, boys and girls?
Some men wear briefs...then you have some that wear panties. lol
K to the...
1. I was shullbitting. lol
Friday, August 6, 2010
Hate & Basketball
What up yall! Welcome to the 2nd blogpost of the day. :-)
This is the 2nd installment in my chronicles on the court entitled "Hate & Basketball". I thought it would be ideal to share with my 5 readers my experiences at the gym.
Today, we're going to focus on the different types of guys I encounter at the gym.
1. The "Young Meat"
This is usually a young phallus-carrier between the ages of 16 and 23. He tries to holla, lowkey. It starts with a little flirting while on the court with me, then when I'm sitting down, he comes over and 99.999% of the time, the convo goes like this:
YM: What h.s. you go to?
Me: I graduated
YM: What college you go to?
Me: I graduated
2. The "Coach"
I put this in quotation marks because this person isn't a damn coach. He usually falls in the "Young Meat" category; but he feels that because he has a phallus, he has better knowledge of the game. Whereas, I have a vagina and don't know what I'm doing, besides run and make sure I dribble. He's usually the one saying:
"You've got to shoot more. Don't hesitate, just let it ride."
"I'm gonna set a screen for you and you're gonna shoot it"
"Let's run a play...Computer Blue"
Ok, maybe not the last line, but you get the point. How bout you shut up! I've been playing longer than you've been on Earth.
3. The "Underestimator"
Just this past Tuesday, my team was on a winning streak. During the 1st game, I was a bit sluggish since I hadn't hooped in over a month and was extra lax while on the court. So this "Young Meat" gets on the court and say "I'm gonna stick the girl. She's only gonna shoot...not much running around."
Ha!
I ran dude all over the court...and jizzed on him, dropping 3s all in his face.
4. The "Whiner"
This is the dude who is constantly complaining. I mean, I'm 5'6"...135lbs. You damn right I'm moving out the way when 6'12"...185lbs is charging towards the hoop, knees up. Negro gon' tell me "step in front him". What, and have a mastectomy & hysterectomy? I like my mams and uterus, thank you very much.
This is the 2nd installment in my chronicles on the court entitled "Hate & Basketball". I thought it would be ideal to share with my 5 readers my experiences at the gym.
Today, we're going to focus on the different types of guys I encounter at the gym.
1. The "Young Meat"
This is usually a young phallus-carrier between the ages of 16 and 23. He tries to holla, lowkey. It starts with a little flirting while on the court with me, then when I'm sitting down, he comes over and 99.999% of the time, the convo goes like this:
YM: What h.s. you go to?
Me: I graduated
YM: What college you go to?
Me: I graduated
2. The "Coach"
I put this in quotation marks because this person isn't a damn coach. He usually falls in the "Young Meat" category; but he feels that because he has a phallus, he has better knowledge of the game. Whereas, I have a vagina and don't know what I'm doing, besides run and make sure I dribble. He's usually the one saying:
"You've got to shoot more. Don't hesitate, just let it ride."
"I'm gonna set a screen for you and you're gonna shoot it"
"Let's run a play...Computer Blue"
Ok, maybe not the last line, but you get the point. How bout you shut up! I've been playing longer than you've been on Earth.
3. The "Underestimator"
Just this past Tuesday, my team was on a winning streak. During the 1st game, I was a bit sluggish since I hadn't hooped in over a month and was extra lax while on the court. So this "Young Meat" gets on the court and say "I'm gonna stick the girl. She's only gonna shoot...not much running around."
Ha!
I ran dude all over the court...and jizzed on him, dropping 3s all in his face.
4. The "Whiner"
This is the dude who is constantly complaining. I mean, I'm 5'6"...135lbs. You damn right I'm moving out the way when 6'12"...185lbs is charging towards the hoop, knees up. Negro gon' tell me "step in front him". What, and have a mastectomy & hysterectomy? I like my mams and uterus, thank you very much.
Every trip to the court has me either cracking up or side-eyeing until my ocular muscles can't take it anymore. But I love it...and I love the game. *shrug*
K to the...
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Cubicle Chronicles 4.29.10
Good morning, ladies, gents, dogs cats, babies, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego!
It's about that time for another installment of the Cubicle Chronicles, the "Hey NuNu" edition.
There are a couple people here at the gig who I know not to say much to because I can see the invisible "Hi, my name is SNITCH" name tag they wear. Yeah, I see invisible stuff.
So in the morning, whenever I go in the break room to get my tea, if it's one of two ladies in there...I know I'm going to walk out the room with my eyes to the ceiling like "Lord, I know you're testing my patience". Well today, one of the two was in there and I just HAD to share this story.
We'll call this lady Sherlock Holme-Girl,
You know, after you see someone on the regular and speak, you ask their name so you can actually give a formal greeting instead of just saying "Hi". Well, Sherlock Holme-Girl, asked my name one day and I guess from there she thought we were just friends till the end.
NOT!
See this lady works in the department that sits behind us. EVERYone, in my opinion, is a snitch in that department. Even the lady who asked how I did my hair yesterday. She might snitch to the natural gods or som'n...I don't know. So anywho, for about a week, I would always see Sherlock Holme-girl in the bathroom around 4p. I started noticing her questions were a bit too much:
"You getting ready to go home?"
"What time are you leaving?"
"Yall can leave early on Fridays?"
"You going to Orland to do some shoppin?"
GET SOME BIDNESS!
So today was the ultimate nosiness for me. I mean, she made me think "I know my life ain't that interesting to her." I didn't stop to get breakfast this morn, so I said I'd get a pastry out the vending machine. Well, Sherlock Holme-Girl was in the breakroom and this morning's events go as follow:
Me: *walks in* Good morning
SH-G: Good morning, girl it's almost Friday
Me: Yeah I know *walks to vending machine*
SH-G: Getting something out the vending machine?
Me: Yeah
*then she walks OVER to the damn vending machine, stands behind me*
SH-G: Oh you getting a pop tart?
Me: Yeah, I didn't get breakfast
SH-G: *walks back to whatever the hell she was doing before*
*Here comes Smart Auss Sally entering stage right*
SAS: Now, I know you're not getting any candy.
Me: A Pop Tart is breakfast food
SAS: Oh I was about to say...just cuz you're little doesnt mean you can eat junk food for breakfast
SH-G: Girl if I eat a Pop Tart, I'd blow up.
Me: *thinking* "BOTH OF YALL SHUT YOUR FAT AUSSES UP!!!" *grabs tea* *leaves*
*SIGH*
It's always something...
K to the...
P.S. I don't like calling people "fat"...but when you come at my size like I'm anorexic and you don't even know ish about me, I get defensive.
P.P.S. My coworker is still saying my cousin is watching him in my pic. o_O
P.P.S.S. My co-worker, low-key, tried to call my cousin gay. "He's 36, not married, no kids...red flag!" He isn't gay...you just want him to be gay so you can have him. Go get some bidness!
It's about that time for another installment of the Cubicle Chronicles, the "Hey NuNu" edition.
There are a couple people here at the gig who I know not to say much to because I can see the invisible "Hi, my name is SNITCH" name tag they wear. Yeah, I see invisible stuff.
So in the morning, whenever I go in the break room to get my tea, if it's one of two ladies in there...I know I'm going to walk out the room with my eyes to the ceiling like "Lord, I know you're testing my patience". Well today, one of the two was in there and I just HAD to share this story.
We'll call this lady Sherlock Holme-Girl,
You know, after you see someone on the regular and speak, you ask their name so you can actually give a formal greeting instead of just saying "Hi". Well, Sherlock Holme-Girl, asked my name one day and I guess from there she thought we were just friends till the end.
NOT!
See this lady works in the department that sits behind us. EVERYone, in my opinion, is a snitch in that department. Even the lady who asked how I did my hair yesterday. She might snitch to the natural gods or som'n...I don't know. So anywho, for about a week, I would always see Sherlock Holme-girl in the bathroom around 4p. I started noticing her questions were a bit too much:
"You getting ready to go home?"
"What time are you leaving?"
"Yall can leave early on Fridays?"
"You going to Orland to do some shoppin?"
GET SOME BIDNESS!
So today was the ultimate nosiness for me. I mean, she made me think "I know my life ain't that interesting to her." I didn't stop to get breakfast this morn, so I said I'd get a pastry out the vending machine. Well, Sherlock Holme-Girl was in the breakroom and this morning's events go as follow:
Me: *walks in* Good morning
SH-G: Good morning, girl it's almost Friday
Me: Yeah I know *walks to vending machine*
SH-G: Getting something out the vending machine?
Me: Yeah
*then she walks OVER to the damn vending machine, stands behind me*
SH-G: Oh you getting a pop tart?
Me: Yeah, I didn't get breakfast
SH-G: *walks back to whatever the hell she was doing before*
*Here comes Smart Auss Sally entering stage right*
SAS: Now, I know you're not getting any candy.
Me: A Pop Tart is breakfast food
SAS: Oh I was about to say...just cuz you're little doesnt mean you can eat junk food for breakfast
SH-G: Girl if I eat a Pop Tart, I'd blow up.
Me: *thinking* "BOTH OF YALL SHUT YOUR FAT AUSSES UP!!!" *grabs tea* *leaves*
*SIGH*
It's always something...
K to the...
P.S. I don't like calling people "fat"...but when you come at my size like I'm anorexic and you don't even know ish about me, I get defensive.
P.P.S. My coworker is still saying my cousin is watching him in my pic. o_O
P.P.S.S. My co-worker, low-key, tried to call my cousin gay. "He's 36, not married, no kids...red flag!" He isn't gay...you just want him to be gay so you can have him. Go get some bidness!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Thoughtless Tuesday 11.10.9
What up folk (No G.D.)!
This post is absolutely thoughtless...so...um...yeah...read on!
Today's date is indeed 11/10/09...11.10.9.
Tomorrow marks the beginning of WTF...Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.
Thursday is my sorority's founders' day. If you randomly spot someone on Thursday at ya work place rocking royal blue and antique gold...let her have her 1922 seconds of glory, ok?
Sammy Sosa is turning white. Ok, ok, ok...I know it's a possible skin condition. Calm down...calm down.
Katt Williams got arrested, with a mugshot looking like he was saying "I am so happy to be here." (Yess, Akeem)
A CTA bus crashed into someone's home this morning. Glad nobody was seriously hurt, but the driver took curbside service to a whole 'nother level.
The Critters of the Midway known as the Bears just can't get right.
I have yet to watch a Bulls' game this season! *hangs head in shame*
I honestly don't see what's funny when I tell folk I'm taking a dance class.
And I learned, today due to minimal tolerance I have today, that there is a such thing as a dumb question...no, a dumb@$$ question!
That is all for today. My mind is clouded with mucus and paradiddles*. lol
K to the...
*Look it up!
This post is absolutely thoughtless...so...um...yeah...read on!
Today's date is indeed 11/10/09...11.10.9.
Tomorrow marks the beginning of WTF...Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.
Thursday is my sorority's founders' day. If you randomly spot someone on Thursday at ya work place rocking royal blue and antique gold...let her have her 1922 seconds of glory, ok?
Sammy Sosa is turning white. Ok, ok, ok...I know it's a possible skin condition. Calm down...calm down.
Katt Williams got arrested, with a mugshot looking like he was saying "I am so happy to be here." (Yess, Akeem)
A CTA bus crashed into someone's home this morning. Glad nobody was seriously hurt, but the driver took curbside service to a whole 'nother level.
The Critters of the Midway known as the Bears just can't get right.
I have yet to watch a Bulls' game this season! *hangs head in shame*
I honestly don't see what's funny when I tell folk I'm taking a dance class.
And I learned, today due to minimal tolerance I have today, that there is a such thing as a dumb question...no, a dumb@$$ question!
That is all for today. My mind is clouded with mucus and paradiddles*. lol
K to the...
*Look it up!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Thoughtless Tuesday 11.3.09
These thoughtless thoughts on this Tuesday are brought to you by Dunkin Donuts hot chocolate. America runs on it because there’s crack in it!
Ya know what…I pulled that Left Eye costume off better than I thought I would. Ion’t care what anyone says. I wish I had the bright color pants…but the aura was there!
Ya know what…there’s a reason you’re a former (ex b/f, ex boo, ex dipetc) so there’s no need for you to keep tabs on my love life. Yo initials ain't "LP", so get some business.
Ya know what…anyone with whom you can have the most random convos…from different types of turds to the “tackle and berries” ratio is definitely a BFF, like “LP”. Lol
Ya know what…you ain’t right for sending pics of your phallus to my email…and then a month later you’re engaged. Isn’t that being kinda rude to your g/f-turned-fiancée?
Ya know what…if you’re on the verge of getting your AARP card and you tryna start s#!t over the internet…go sit yo auss down, file for your SSI before you break your damn hip. Leave that for the under 21 crowd. Twitter, nor facebook, makes you hard cuz you, unlike a real man, won’t say ish when I’m in your face!
Ya know what…you ain’t right, C. Breezy for that album cover. It’s “wiggity wack”, which leads to..
Ya know what…where the hell is Kris Kross?
Ya know what…730a is too early for you to be on the phone, talking loud on the CTA about “You tryna go smoke…you only got $3?”
Ya know what…the nonverbal ALWAYS speak louder than the verbals. Just ask the little negroid who I shut up…twice…on the court yesterday without saying a word.
Ya know what…there comes a point when your sorors aren’t just sorors anymore. You actually consider them to be your friends…and I’ve experienced that with quite a few of my sorors.
Ya know what…I really wish my coworker would stop laughing when he’s telling a story. It’s never funny… and causes me to look at him like this…expressionless!
How grant reports are funny, Ion’t know. Maybe he reads em in a comedian voice. *Kanye shrug*
Ya know what…I have the biggest crush on my dance instructor, I can barely give him eye contact in class. I love a dark-skinned man with fresh locs. My instructor is light-skinned with a bald head. *swoons*
Ya know what…it annoys me when I can’t listen to music on the bus without adjusting my earplugs every 3 minutes. The hole leading to my ear canal is too small. *pause* lol Get ya mind out the gutter…
Ya know what…being complimented by a man with no ulterior motive is the best thing in the world. I was called gorgeous this morning as I grabbed the crack known as Dunkin Donuts' hot chocolate.
Ya know what…I might feel, at times, like strangling one of my exes, but being forced to watch football when we were together and listen to him sound like the adults on Charlie Brown when talking about fantasy football made me appreciate the sport even more. And seeing those toight booties in the toight pants being toight like a tiger isn’t bad either. *drools*
Ya know what…if I don’t get back to Nawlins ASAP, it’s gonna be trouble!
Ya know what…I have my own clippers and I line my neck every two weeks because the clippers my beautician uses makes my neck look like she was playing tic tac toe on my neck.
Ya know what…Twitter really is the devil. But it keeps me entertained!
Ya know what…I think my job needs to get a fb page, so then fb won’t be blocked at the job. I mean, they’re on Twitter! *side eye*
Ya know what…my birthday is a month away, and I don’t know what I’m gonna do.
Ya know what…next time a homeless person asks me for $.75, I’m gonna give a $1. And if they ask the next person for $.75, I’m taking my damn dollar back. Just call me an “Indian giver.”
Ya know what…looks definitely AREN’T everything! I almost reverted back to a former, but thought about the b-a-ness displayed, and decided to just leave that alone. Lol
Ya know what…it seems to be perfectly normal to spend $8 on lunch in downtown Shick-A-Go. I can’t go…not EVERYday! Gonna have to pick a Hot Pocket, son!
Ya know what…lady, we’re in the same room, so lower ya d@mn voice. Running up my light bill.
Ya know what…the meeting was scheduled to be over at 12:30p. You still asking questions at 12:43p. Shat up!
Ya know what...I think I somewhat cussed at my mom on Sunday. She explained a situation to me and I was like “So you almost sharted on yourself?” Now, we all know what a shart is…so, yeah…I think I kinda sorta maybe but not really cussed at my mom. lol
Ya know what...I'm done!
K to the...
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
"And I wonder..." 10.6.9
You ever feel like you just care too much?
That's exactly how I've been feeling lately, and I just can't shake it. Like the weight of the world is on my shoulder.
For once, I'd like tobe a b*tch not care, but I can't. It's the Sagittarius in me.
Care for DEEZ!
K to the...
P.S. Yess, two posts two days in a row. Tomorrow's Wednesday...you know what that means! That's right...Hump Day Haphazardness *Giggity*
That's exactly how I've been feeling lately, and I just can't shake it. Like the weight of the world is on my shoulder.
For once, I'd like to
Care for DEEZ!
K to the...
P.S. Yess, two posts two days in a row. Tomorrow's Wednesday...you know what that means! That's right...Hump Day Haphazardness *Giggity*
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