That's That Bull Thursday

Good morning world,

The title of today's post is exactly how I felt when I woke up this morning.

Why?

Well let me tell you.

Yesterday, I had a pretty good day. Went to the doctor, picked up Mothers' Day gifts for mom and grandmother, filled up the tank and went grocery shopping. I had a very productive day outside of work.

So, if you follow me on Twitter, then you know I'm taking a tap dance class and we meet on Tuesdays. Well, this week, we did this exercise off of Jamiroquai's "Corner of the Earth" and I had been playing the song all day! When I got home, I figured I'd get a lil practice in before settling down for the night.

So, I get in the crib with all my groceries, throw on my tap shoes and I figure I'd go in for a good 4 minutes. So I'm in the kitchen, tapping....

And I see a dark blur run past my foot.

That's right.

A damn mouse!

I pause in my tracks like "That's a damn mouse!"

So, I call my mom...hysterical! I mean, I'm crying telling her it's a mouse in my apartment. Anybody who’s ever been to my crib knows I don’t leave food sitting out. The only things that’ll be out are shoes and clothes when I’m too lazy to hang them up.

I call building maintenance and let them know it's a mouse in my apartment. They say they will come by with glue traps tomorrow. Tomorrow? Uh ruh...the mouse is here TONIGHT!

After I get off the phone…do you know this little focker ran out about 2-3 more times. I screamed everytime I saw him. I mean, you just gon come out...with the lights on like you own the place? I need to ask this little focker for rent.

Below are a few of my tweets last night. Thank God for sense of humor. My twitfam’s and bff’s responses to this unfortunate situation only made it even funnier!

-I've been living here for two years! My apt is clean...so I'm just blown.
-Dammit I just seen it again!!! I screamed and it ran in my closet. I wanna cry...wait...I did when I was on the phone with my mom!!! lol
-ITS IN MY LINEN CLOSET. JESUS BE A MOUSETRAP. I CANT STAY HERE TONIGHT!!!
-HE JUST RAN IN ONE OF MY GROCERY BAGS. I just bought that damn cantalope...2 for $4. This lil nigga gots ta go!!!
-This lil nigga is playing me for a fool...disrespectful! My mom is on her way...bldg maint talmbout tomorrow. hell naw!
-I'm standing here in my tap shoes by the front door like a lil bish. I dont do roaches and rodents!
-I'm tryna be calm...but when I calm down, thats when Ben wanna show up again. I'm scared to put away my groceries!
-I'm all for glue traps..but who's gonna throw that bitch out when it gets stuck?!? ME?!?
-I was having such a good day...WTF!!!

So my mom came with some mouse traps last night. We put them out and I slept at her crib…in lil sis’s bed…on the Spongebob Squarepants sheets.

“Absorbant and yellow and porous is he!”

I just called building maintenance to make sure they close up all the holes in the apartment. I told him I didn’t sleep at the crib and the guy asks why?

WHY?

O__o

Hopefully the bastard is gone when I get home. If not, who has an extra bedroom at their crib?

Or who wants to cuddle with me? I swear I won’t fart on you.

K to the…

Cubicle Chronicles 4.29.10

Good morning, ladies, gents, dogs cats, babies, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego!

It's about that time for another installment of the Cubicle Chronicles, the "Hey NuNu" edition.

There are a couple people here at the gig who I know not to say much to because I can see the invisible "Hi, my name is SNITCH" name tag they wear. Yeah, I see invisible stuff.

So in the morning, whenever I go in the break room to get my tea, if it's one of two ladies in there...I know I'm going to walk out the room with my eyes to the ceiling like "Lord, I know you're testing my patience". Well today, one of the two was in there and I just HAD to share this story.

We'll call this lady Sherlock Holme-Girl,

You know, after you see someone on the regular and speak, you ask their name so you can actually give a formal greeting instead of just saying "Hi". Well, Sherlock Holme-Girl, asked my name one day and I guess from there she thought we were just friends till the end.

NOT!

See this lady works in the department that sits behind us. EVERYone, in my opinion, is a snitch in that department. Even the lady who asked how I did my hair yesterday. She might snitch to the natural gods or som'n...I don't know. So anywho, for about a week, I would always see Sherlock Holme-girl in the bathroom around 4p. I started noticing her questions were a bit too much:

"You getting ready to go home?"

"What time are you leaving?"

"Yall can leave early on Fridays?"

"You going to Orland to do some shoppin?"

GET SOME BIDNESS!

So today was the ultimate nosiness for me. I mean, she made me think "I know my life ain't that interesting to her." I didn't stop to get breakfast this morn, so I said I'd get a pastry out the vending machine. Well, Sherlock Holme-Girl was in the breakroom and this morning's events go as follow:

Me: *walks in* Good morning
SH-G: Good morning, girl it's almost Friday
Me: Yeah I know *walks to vending machine*
SH-G: Getting something out the vending machine?
Me: Yeah
*then she walks OVER to the damn vending machine, stands behind me*
SH-G: Oh you getting a pop tart?
Me: Yeah, I didn't get breakfast
SH-G: *walks back to whatever the hell she was doing before*
*Here comes Smart Auss Sally entering stage right*
SAS: Now, I know you're not getting any candy.
Me: A Pop Tart is breakfast food
SAS: Oh I was about to say...just cuz you're little doesnt mean you can eat junk food for breakfast
SH-G: Girl if I eat a Pop Tart, I'd blow up.
Me: *thinking* "BOTH OF YALL SHUT YOUR FAT AUSSES UP!!!" *grabs tea* *leaves*

*SIGH*

It's always something...

K to the...

P.S. I don't like calling people "fat"...but when you come at my size like I'm anorexic and you don't even know ish about me, I get defensive.

P.P.S. My coworker is still saying my cousin is watching him in my pic. o_O

P.P.S.S. My co-worker, low-key, tried to call my cousin gay. "He's 36, not married, no kids...red flag!" He isn't gay...you just want him to be gay so you can have him. Go get some bidness!

Who's Rude: Me, She, or Nature?

Hello, world!

This is a RUDE auss post, ladies and gents. I recently saw an old friend and forgot to tell my girl when I first saw him. Well, this morning, I told her and we had a grand ole rude auss time roasting. Below is our textvo!

P.S. We're not roasting simply to roast...the chick done did some grimey ish. Sooo...she deserves it

Rudeness #1: His boo is sooooooo funny looking.

Rudeness #2: Lol...ur so funny. Did he speak or did he try to play u?

Rudeness #1: He spoke, but gave the phony hug, then I realized that was her behind him.

Rudeness #2: That's funny...she is very funny looking though she looks worse with no weave...lol happy for them though

Rudeness #1: She had no weave on...MESS!

Rudeness #2: Lol yes a hot mess!!!!! And I'm sure a face full of ugly makeup!!!! I hate to see her without it

Rudeness #1: It was dim...and she was still funny looking. lol Didnt see how she looked in the light.

Rudeness #2: u may have ran cause it is so not cute. Nice to have ur guard dog on standby for u at all times...lol that was wrong I didn't mean that lol

Rudeness #1: LMAO! U are rude as hell. LMAO!

Rudeness #2: LMAO...I apologize cause that was mean. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that

Rudeness #1: I'm still laughing

Rudeness #2: I know she was growling when u hugged [him]...she a very good and protective bitch...lol ok no more

Rudeness #1: LMAO! I hatechu!

Rudeness #2: No u don't...lol

Rudeness #1: Lol Ok, i dont

Rudeness #2: Rudeness #3 calls her bridezilla and it has nothing to do with her attitude LMBO

Rudeness #1: Yall are so rude! lol

Rudeness #2: No her face and fat ass is rude and [he] is just cruel for bringing her out to terrorize the world lol...

Rudeness #1: LMAO

Rudeness #2: Ok but for real if he happy then so I am...that's what he loves...they will make beautiful babies...LMAO...ok i'm just reaching with that one

Rudeness #1: LMAO! Stop it...stop it right now! LMAO

Rudeness #2: U stop it...u started it LOL

Rudeness #1: Lol Nature started it...I just made an observation!

Rudeness #2: Sometimes Nature ain't even right!!!!! Just mean I say!!!!!!!!

Rudeness #1: LMAO! Stop it...stop it RAHT now

Rudeness #1: I'm making this convo blog post lol

Rudeness #2: Lol where u posting it?

Rudeness #1: To my blog...Imma do it this evening. lol

Rudeness #2: I didn't know u had a blog...lol...but that convo was hilarity (new word)

Rudeness #1: I use hilarity on the reg. And negro, i texted yall about the blog when I first started it. lol

Rudeness #2: I'm sorry but where do I work again????? Right I'm becoming the people I work for lol

Rudeness #1: Lol contagious Alzheimers...thats a new strand

Rudeness #2: Ummm yeah...the pentagon is researching now lol

Rudeness #1: lol

Big ups and fat shouts to this fool for keeping me laughing all morning.

K to the...

"Where they do that at?" Wednesday

Let me just say that I do not use the phrase in my title on a regular basis. Was just trying to stick with the alliteration, ok?

Anywho, I have a random question for yall and I need an answer.

Is it rude to expel gas in a public restroom?

And if it isn't, then why do I be in the bathroom tryna hold-in any expulsion that may occur so folk don't be thinking "Girl, she gots some serious gas"; so folk won't give me the side-eye when I come out the stall to wash my hands.

Ladies, don't you dare ACK like it's just me.

So I ask you, wonderful people...

To poot or not to poot in a public restroom?

That is the question!

K to the...

"..if not so, I'll be too too bad...when it comes to pink polka dots and plaid.."

Last week I said "They should never gave you niggas money...webcams and twitter."

Guess who's on Twitter now!

*smacks forehead*

Why? I was bored Friday night after din-din! Oknomorequestions!

There are times (ok, everyday) when I have random, ignant thoughts running through my head. And since I care, I don't want to take over folk's newsfeeds on fb by constantly updating my status. It grinds my gears when folk do that! So now, I can just tweet those multiple thoughts.

I can't believe I just used "I" and "tweet" in the same sentence.

So I'm at kdw824. Since my profile isn't set to private...you can still check me out without having an account.

Am I a hypocrite? Yess! I have stepped over to the dark side. Hey...at least I admitted it.

Am I an addict? Nah! I purposely don't have updates coming to my phone...so excuse my CPT responses if you @'ing me.

Yeah, I said "@'ing"

Have Marvelous Monday, everyone...and hug your neighbor. You may never know when you'll need some sugar for that Kool-Aid. The red "flavor" of course. ;-)

K to the...

P.S. Eight cool points to the person that knows where the title of this post comes from. Bonus cool points for those who've caught on to the titles of my previous posts.