Sh*t I'd Post On Social Media If It Wasn't Lent pt.deux

"Pretty sure I just saw a Blues Brother on the train."

"I'm seriously not gonna be able to teach my child how to effectively tie a shoe or jump double dutch. This is when the godmother, aunt and father get their moment of glory."

"Joy is not having to wear leggings under your pants while commuting because highs are in the 50s. Won' Who do it? He."

"People who drive really small cars shouldn't pull all the way into a parking spot. I thought that space was unoccupied, you inconsiderate nimrod."

"So when someone splits their pants in a dance-off, is there a winner by default? If so, who?"

It's Super Juker...and her fellow ignant, superhero friends.

"I have three words for 'Gone Girl': CHEESE AND RICE!!!"

"I'm fawked up. Homie, you fawked up. But if God us then we gon be alright."

"Sure can't wait to take this sew-in out. *pats head*"

"'To Pimp A Butterfly.' Great day to have the gift of hearing."

"Unsolicited dick pics (UDPs) are annoying. Someone I hoop with sent me a pic, and asked if I got it; as if he was so sure that the UDP made me pat my pum pum. -__- I hope me saying 'Unfortunately' keeps him from sending me another one."

"Guess who'll be fresh as they turn 2 this week! My babies"

 

 

"Looks like the 2016 Posh Patty's Day Party will be at a different location than this year. Bye Bye Dolphin."

"Today is the first day of Spring, bizniyeees! Almost time to show off those bodies that we worked on during Winter. *kisses biceps*"