Friday, October 2, 2015

"Tell Diamond to get her funky ass on stage..."

This year, I popped my "strip club cherry" while I was Jacksonville, FL for America's birthday weekend. I came in with $50 in singles, and proudly left out with none of those singles.

Men, I get it.

I get it.

These women in Jacksonville were so hospitable, hugging and thanking us after they got off the stage. Seriously, I was impressed. Not only were they flexible, and smelled heavenly, but the tricks on the pole were what got me.

Yes, please...take all my singles.

All at once.

There was one who just blew my mind. Her name was Brittany (I don't know if this is the correct spelling; wasn't like there was a scrolling marquee. Or maybe it was, but I was just so amazed by what was going on...). Now, Brittany was called to the stage multiple times. When she finally got on stage and got on that pole, she worked that pole with so much attitude. Like "Let me give these people what they want so I can get back to my game of '2048' on my phone."

Now, when Brittany came on stage, I was out of singles (LOL) but my girls would pass me a few to give to the ladies since I was standing up.

At one point, Brittany gets off the pole; showing her flexibility, patting her pum pum...working for those dollars. She lays down, places both ankles behind her head, calmly folds a dollar bill length-wise and places it over her vagina opening.

"What is she about to do?"

*dollar bill floats up into the air*

"HOLY SHIT!!! That's it! We can leave!!!"

Thank you Jacksonville. Thank you Mascaras. And most importantly, thank you Brittany!

K to the...

Friday, September 18, 2015

"Keep ya heart, 3 Stacks..."

A couple of months ago, there was one guy on my radar with whom I would get in a relationship if he asked. Seriously. I asked on some "YOLO" steez if he wanted to go to Jamaica together for NYE. I really didn't want to be in Chicago for NYE. We are not going on the trip, due to circumstances that were beyond both of our control. And I'm OK with that. I do think us not going on the trip is a sign.

A sign for what?

After thinking about my last relationship, then when I re-dated someone last year after 10 years of sporadic communication, I've realized that I have to stop being so reckless with my heart. I have to get off that "Let's just do it...what do we have to lose" steez. I can't, and really don't feel like, dealing with another heartache due to some hastiness on mine and the other guy's behalf.


I know I'm not getting any younger, as I age like the finest Cabernet Sauvignon from Villa Sceriman winery (I need to figure when I'm going to drink this bottle I've been saving). But I damn sure don't have to rush into anything, or settle. I still have a few years before I give up on giving my G-babymama a G-baby of her own.

So what now? Just continuing to live, love myself, and Euro-step the bullshit thrown my way.

"Play your part, play your part."

K to the...

Friday, August 21, 2015

Yogi Chronicles: ... 8.20.15

*You're is not the 20th*

There was a 5-day period earlier this month during which I taught four classes. I was a sub for 3 of them, and 1 was taught as a part of birthday festivities. Nothing like the waves crashing against the rocks in the background being your music for class. I enjoyed teaching the classes and got some great feedback. But, what I learned in that 5-day period is though I'm guiding others through a practice, it doesn't mean that I should stop attending class for myself.

Can't stop. Won't stop. Take that. Take that.

The last two classes I taught in that 5-day class were back-to-back. I had a 15 minute break in between the classes. Also, I had to work my full-time job before heading to the studio to teach. I was t-i-red after that last class. But a good tired.

What exactly is a good tired? Like, after sex? Is that a good tired? It's been so long, I can't...

Where was I? Tired.


During my class, at the end, I guide students through Savasana, pointing out parts of the body to relax from toe to the top of the heads. As I was guiding the students in Savasana, I was actually getting relaxed myself. Maybe that's what it was...I was extra relaxed. Lord knows I wanted to come into Savasana with them, but the class isn't about me. It's about them. That's something else I'm learning as I teach more. I've become very of observant of students' as they move into different poses. So, while I'm teaching others, I'm learning, as well.


Speaking of Instagram, I have over 100 followers, yet average 12 likes per posts. And some of the likes are from folk who don't even follow my page; they search hashtags. And I'm OK with that. I can't get caught up in the likes and followers. I post because I want to share with others my knowledge, and at the same time, getting some practice on how I give instruction. And if what I posts makes one person go "Let me try that," then I've succeeded.

K to the...

Monday, August 3, 2015

#MusicMonday 7.31.15

That darn Jilly from Philly has done it again! I've stated before that Jill sings my life with her words. Last week, she released a new album entitled "Woman" and let me tell you...she has done it again. The are so many quotables on the many! But there is one particular lyric that stood out to me that is so me.

In my past I made mistakes because 
I was drunk on love
Too quick to trust 
Jumped in too easy


I let the album play all the way through with each listen, but there are some songs I will repeat before moving on to the next one:

  • Can't Wait
  • Fool's Gold
  • Cruisin
Have you heard the album? You likes?

K to the...

Friday, July 31, 2015

103 years later...

A few weeks ago, I randomly started reading books and watching movies that show the struggles of Black people in America, from the end of the Civil War up until the Civil Rights Movement. Earlier this week, I finished James Weldon Johnson's "The Autobiography of an Ex-Colored Man." Judging from the notes written in the book, it seems the last time I read this book was while I was in high school.

Though the book was published in 1912, it seemed like what was going on in the book is what is going on in America today. There were two quotes that stuck out to me in the book on which I wanted to write:

"I noticed that among this class of colored men the word 'nigger' was freely used in about the same sense as the word 'fellow,' and sometimes as a term of almost endearment; but I soon learned that is use was positively and absolutely prohibited to white men."

That word is still a term of endearment for those of us who still use it. The only difference, it seems, is that we say "Nigga," instead of "Nigger."

"I once heard a colored man sum it up in these words, 'It's no disgrace to be black, but it's often very inconvenient.'"

With all the injustices Blacks have been incurring recently, I feel like this quote applies today, just like it did 103 years ago when this book was published. I'm proud to be Black. But I do know that because of my complexion, I could get hurt or, worse, killed because I stood up for myself against an officer (black or white) who overstepped his or her boundary. I know that because of my complexion, I am seen as a threat more than someone who lacks melanin.


We've all heard the quote "The only thing constant is change." I think that quote could easily be changed to "The only things constant are change...and the struggles of a Black person in America."

K to the...

Monday, July 27, 2015

Now what?

I didn’t want to let the month of July go by without me updating the blog. There has been so much going on that I can blog about, but after I say to Self “I could blog about this,” something else happens that I can blog about. It's like monkey brain...but outside the brain. hahahaha

Last time I wrote, I mentioned how I got started with my certification class. I'm certified to what?

Well, because of people going on vacation and other summertime activities that occur, summer isn’t a good time to start a class. So, right now, I’m subbing when needed and posting to @AHoopinYogi.

I really like posting pics and videos, guiding others through poses. I’ve had people ask questions, and I’ve also learned about different ways to do different poses. Though I can teach others, that doesn’t mean that I stop learning, ya know?

I’m also really enjoying the now. Yes, I look forward to upcoming trips or events that are planned, but I also enjoy what goes on in the present. Mediation really helps me with that because in those 5 minutes of stillness, I’m getting rid of any mental trash that clouds my thinking.

As a gift to myself for certification, I got some new ink on my leg. My biggest tattoo…and the 3rd one from the very talented Ryan Henry at 9Mag Tattoo Studio. When I arrived at my appointment, he was like “So I heard you’re going big with this one?” He LOVES doing big tattoos, especially on fresh skin. He was able to go ham with this one…and that he did! You’d think I would have gotten a yoga-related tattoo since this was a gift to myself for finishing my certification class. Well, the lotus that I have is yoga-related…so that’s handled.

But I had to get something that said so much about me without me having to say anything. I thought a customized Chicago flag was perfect. The placement of my zodiac sign and basketball is intentional. And I love it. Totally worth the pain.

Well, I randomly decided that I want to run a 5K that my gym has every year. Not a big deal, right? Wrong! I hate running when I’m not on a basketball court. I’d rather ride a bike for a 3.1 miles than run. The name of the 5K is “Anyone Can Do A 5K”. Why not me? Training begins tomorrow (Today, as you read this). Y’all pray my strenf!

Rest well, Ellean "Elaine" Wafford-Williams and Sandra Bland.

K to the...

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Yogi Chronicles: The Hoopin' Yogi

“One door closes, another opens. You never know who is watching you…and seeing a skill in you that you definitely didn’t see in yourself. That’s a dope feeling.”

I posted this status on August 30th, 2014 (Facebook Timeline is good for something) after having a nice, lengthy conversation with my yoga instructor. Before she excused us from class on this day, she told the class that she would be teaching a certification class and she had flyers for those who would be interested. I go to get a flyer…just to be nosy. As I grabbed the flyer, she looked up and said, “So, you’re ready to start teaching?”

*scratches record* What?

Though I had been taking a more advanced class for about a year, in addition to her class…I didn’t feel I was “experienced” enough to guide others. But, she saw something that I didn’t see in myself. I told her I would think about it and get back to her. It took less than a week to decide to go through with it.

And I'm glad I did.

This past Saturday, I received my certificate of completion. I celebrated by taking a nap (Because...32), then popping the finest Italian bubbly with the peeps that put me on to it. I still have some ongoing training to do (subbing so I can get used to teaching), but there is a good chance I'll have my own beginners' yoga class by the end of the summer.

The class will more than likely be at the gym I go to...which I joined thanks to an ex...who is the reason I started taking yoga. Ain't life funny?

I had created an Instagram page, but I didn’t want to share the information with anyone until I was officially done. I'm not sure where I want to go with the page, but in the meantime...gon’ ‘head and follow TheHoopinYogi. :-)


K to the...