*Very personal, so, excuse me.*
Anybody who is on Twitter or Tumblr knows of the vast amount of information that is shared on a daily basis. Whether it's someone sharing their personal issues or just sharing what's going on in the world. Well, yesterday, I read a post on Tumblr from someone who is dealing with depression and it made me think.
I don't suffer from depression, but I've been in a relationship with someone who dealt with depression. I, personally, don't know how it feels to deal with depression; but I know I wanted to be there for him when he was feeling down. I wanted him to tell me what was wrong. I wanted to be the one who held him in my scrawny arms, kissed him on the forehead and said "I'm here." After awhile, I learned certain behaviors of those who'd suffer from depression. There was one that bothered me the most: not wanting to be around others, including significant others. It made me feel useless, but I respected his wishes.
So yesterday, when I was reading that person's post, I had an epiphany about myself. I HATE not being able to help the ones I love. And I don't mean, someone asking for $20 and I only have $3; I'm talking deeper than that.
Hating that I can't help others ties into one of the negative qualities I possess...which is being controlling. This "controlling" part of me only shows in certain situations; other than that, I am a very patient person (See: celibacy and going natural. You can't be impatient going through this! hahaha). But, when it comes to certain things I have ABSOLUTELY no control over...not so much. And, I've been working on it.
This epiphany hit me while I was walking to lunch yesterday, and I felt so much better after acknowledging it. The more self-evaluating I do, the more things start to make sense. Just another part of growing up, I guess.
K to the...