Randomocity - 2.11.14

Written last night, hence "2.11.14" in the title, and not today's date. Enjoy! 

• I honestly forgot about Valentine's Day approaching.
• February is the beginning of the baby boom for my crew.
• Yes. Yes, I am rocking crop tops this summer thanks to this tattoo.
• Sometimes when conversing with my mom, she gives me this look...of admiration. Like she's proud of the woman she raised; or she's seeing how though I'm a grown-up, I'm still her baby. I look forward to the day I can look at my child the way my mom looks at me. 
• I love my body...even my slightly knocked knees.
• My grandmother can't remember what she had for breakfast, but oddly remembers a conversation I had about me moving almost a month ago. The human brain is such an interesting organ.  
• The city of Hammond...the county of Lake...the state of Indiana does not believe in salting and properly plowing the streets. It really unpeels my banana, son.
• I miss working downtown. I'm working on getting back there.
• I'm over winter.
• New Orleans...I miss you!
• Toronto...here I come!
• "Now I know how to love somebody/I've learned love is out there for me/There's no way that love forgot/Love won't leave me out."
• Thinking of retiring the "JUKBX" license plate. 
• Yes, having an FWB* can be fun. But that ish gets boring...because it's just sex. I don't want anything more from you...boriiiiiinnnnnng.
• Or is it just me?
• Want to know if a guy who claims to be interested in you is on that shullbit? Ask a male friend. 
• I love how my friends look forward to what has turned into an annual summer party at my crib. But last summer's party was so epic...I don't know if that can be topped. We kicked it from 10p - 4a. My patio was a mess. I had to shampoo my carpet.  

Because, I care.

• I love my team.
• I need my couch reupholstered.
• That wasn't a euphemism. 
• I said I wouldn't give up on Jhene Aiko...and I didn't. She has really grown on me.
• The CFO thanked me for my work on the annual compliance audit at the gig. There were no issues in the audit report that was presented to the audit committee today. It meant a lot to me coming from him.
• December 18, 2014 marks 10 years since I graduated from undergrad. Yikes!
• RIP Whitney Houston

K to the...

*"Friend With Benefits"

"And it came to me...like an epiphany..."

*Very personal, so, excuse me.*

Anybody who is on Twitter or Tumblr knows of the vast amount of information that is shared on a daily basis.  Whether it's someone sharing their personal issues or just sharing what's going on in the world.  Well, yesterday, I read a post on Tumblr from someone who is dealing with depression and it made me think.

I don't suffer from depression, but I've been in a relationship with someone who dealt with depression.  I, personally, don't know how it feels to deal with depression; but I know I wanted to be there for him when he was feeling down.  I wanted him to tell me what was wrong.  I wanted to be the one who held him in my scrawny arms, kissed him on the forehead and said "I'm here."  After awhile, I learned certain behaviors of those who'd suffer from depression.  There was one that bothered me the most: not wanting to be around others, including significant others.  It made me feel useless, but I respected his wishes.

So yesterday, when I was reading that person's post, I had an epiphany about myself.  I HATE not being able to help the ones I love.  And I don't mean, someone asking for $20 and I only have $3; I'm talking deeper than that. 

Hating that I can't help others ties into one of the negative qualities I possess...which is being controlling.  This "controlling" part of me only shows in certain situations; other than that, I am a very patient person (See: celibacy and going natural. You can't be impatient going through this! hahaha).  But, when it comes to certain things I have ABSOLUTELY no control over...not so much.  And, I've been working on it.

This epiphany hit me while I was walking to lunch yesterday, and I felt so much better after acknowledging it.  The more self-evaluating I do, the more things start to make sense.  Just another part of growing up, I guess.

K to the...