Cubicle Chronicles: Oh, really!?!

Yesterday, while diligently working, my boss comes over to have a chat with my coworkers and I.

Idiot: How would you all feel about being outside in 52-degree weather?"

*Silence amongst myself and coworkers*

Me: What is going on?

Dumbass: Have y'all heard of the "Pegway tour" downtown?

Me: You mean the Segway tour? Yeah, I've heard of it.

Douche: Yeah, I want to do a tour next week. *shows printouts from Internet* And the warmest day next week will be 52 degrees.

Me: I mean, I can bundle up. You do know that with us being on the Segways, there will be a breeze. We'll be downtown, off the lake. It might be a bit chilly.

Estupido: Yeah. Well, an alternative could be a restaurant downtown.

Me: What is the special occasion?
Dummy: I'm tired of working. Just need a break...a day off.

OH REALLY, MY NIGGA!?!

I thought you liked sending emails on Saturday and Sunday nights. 

I thought you liked NOT closing the office the day after Thanksgiving and being the only one in the office.

I thought you liked coming in at 7a and not leaving until 8p.

You need a break!?

Feel free to take that Segway tour in 52-degree weather, with a wind chill of 40, by yourself. We'll gladly enjoy a break from YOU!

K to the...

"Quit acting like a female!"

“Stop wearing your panties when coming to play ball.”
“Men shouldn't be jealous, that’s a female trait”
“These females…”

The first quote is something I heard from the most whining dude I've ever played ball with. He said this to another dude. I wear panties when I hoop, and I don't whine.

Anywho, I'm fed up, joe*, and I need to get some ish off my chest.

1. Use of the word female

The use of the word “female” is something I've taken note of within the past 4-5 years. Unscientifically speaking, 90% of the time I've seen the word “female” used in a negative tone. In some instances, “female” is replacing “bitch” to show some respect.

O_o

“If I can’t call you women ‘females’, what should I call you?”

I read the above statement and wanted to kick a stuffed poodle. And it’s not just on social networking where this disrespect occurs, it happens in regular conversation I've had with men.

“Oh, you’re one of those ‘females’ that…”
“And you females wonder why…”

I have shut down mid-conversation when someone has used that word with me. You can't have a conversation with me without being negative towards the sex of which I'm a part...I don't have nothing to say to you.

2. “Female traits”

There seems to be two of the many traits human beings have that only women possess: jealousy and being emotional. Today, I'm going to focus on "being emotional."  Let me start with the fact that a human being, for the most part**, is either a man or a woman.

Got it?

I've been involved in plenty of discussions with men in regards to their emotions and I've concluded that men are just as emotional as women. The only difference, generally speaking, is the way those emotions are expressed.

Don’t tell me men aren't emotional when:

• I see men, every week, having a fit on the court because the ball wasn't passed to them.
• I see someone throw a chair because his team lost a game.
• I see two friends beef, publicly, when it could have easily been handled privately.
• I read prose or poetry written by men expressing their feelings of loss or heartache.
• I listen to a man privately break down after the end of a relationship, though, publicly, he seemed OK.

There are other examples, but you get my point.

Oh, these instances are exceptions to “the rule”?

"[I] don't believe you. You need more people."

K to the...

*Chi-town ish.
**I know there are some who identify as both. Hence the word “for the most part.”

Validation Pt. 2: Don't Get It Twisted

As stated before, my marital and parental statuses do not define me. But it doesn’t mean I wouldn't want those statuses to change, one day.

Back in January, I had to go the emergency room due to severe abdominal pain. After several tests, and extra strong pain meds were given, the doctor said it looked like there was a cyst was on my ovaries.

WHAT?!?

I immejitly followed up with my primary care physician, who referred me to an OB/GYN. I’m chatting with the OB/GYN, letting him know what I was told. Then, I say:

“I just want to make sure I am still able to have kids.”

I’ve always been pretty nonchalant when it comes to motherhood. But, this situation made me realize that I really wouldn't mind having a Mini Me, constantly reminding him/her that he/she "will grow into" his/her big forehead.

Then I'll show him/her pics of me as a youngster to prove it. X_X

K to the…

The Jukebox is pleased.

September 2013 has been the month of great album releases. I can't remember the last time I bought this many albums in one month.

Yes, I buy albums.

Below are the albums that have been in rotation this month.

This was released in July, but I finally copped in September.
Pharrell left his mark on this joint.

Electrosophistfunkylady

John is in love...and I am here for it!

I'm a huge fan. I even got my mom hooked on them and my
boo-in-my-head Zo!.

Don't let the OFWGKTA affiliation scare you.
The Internet is a dope group.

So many adjectives have been given to Drake. But what you
WILL NOT call him is "inconsistent".

Part 2 has a different feel than Part 1. Timbo stay killing it!

Happy Friday!

K to the...

Validation

There are a number of people who have an issue with me:

1) Not being in a relationship

2) Not being married

3) Not having kids

But, I don't have an issue with the items listed above. 

Because that shit doesn't validate me. 

Know what validates me?

My awesomeness.

Get into it.

K to the...

Basketball Chronicles: Respect

Due to, possibly, the Bears opener, there wasn't a lot of bodies on the court. The hoop session ended about an hour earlier than usual. I wasn't quite ready to leave after getting a win, but I was ready to go watch the Bears.

So, I made a little joke to the guys who were getting ready to leave. Keep in mind, I'm 2-5 years older than the guys I was joking with. I called them "old".

Well, someone felt some type of way about the joke and proceed to downplay what I go through on the court.

"You don't get banged up as much as we do. All you do is stand out there and shoot."

-__-

Let me remind you at 5' 5 1/2", maybe 130 lbs, I am the smallest person on the court. There is a dude shorter than me on the court, but he has more weight. I'm playing against guys faster and stronger than me. I'm playing against guys who have been gassed to think they are post players because they can back me (and only me) down in the paint. I'm playing against guys who challenge me when I'm on offense and when I'm on defense; which I appreciate. I've NEVER asked anyone to show me any type of mercy on the court.

Basically, I PLAY BASKETBALL!!!

I've been playing this game for 20+ years. I won't allow anybody to downplay what I go through when I step on that court.

I guess me wearing an ankle brace and knee band is just for show.

K to the...

Look at God!

Yesterday morning, my mother called me while at work.  Her voice was calm...but it was an unusual calm. 

“I just had a gun pointed at me.”

She was standing outside of her job, talking on the phone with a family friend.  Two guys walked by her.  She continues her phone conversation.  Moments later, she hears a voice behind her.  She turns around, and it’s one of the dudes, face covered…gun pointed at her face.  She screamed and immediately ran back inside of her job.

My mom works at an adult day center in the neighborhood she grew up in.

The neighborhood I grew up in.

The neighborhood my grandmother STILL lives in.

Yesterday was my grandfather's 77th birthday.

During our long embrace, she said

"My dad had my back today."

Yes, he did.

K to the...