C.R.E.A.M. get the money

Late in December 2012, I came across this challenge while cruising the Tumblr streets:

I saw the end result and knew I had to do it. My best friend's husband is stationed in Italy for three years. I told her I'd give her a year to get settled before I came to visit. You see that total after week 52?

Airfare, baby!

As of the start of next week, I'll be up to $1,128. I think when 2014 arrives, I'll continue to put money back; but I'll start with $52 and work my way down until we leave in September 2014. This could be my spending money. Whoop!

Ciao!

K to the...

Lotus

So, I got tattoo #4 this past Friday. After the artist, Ryan, drew the blueprint on my skin, I didn't look down at my stomach until he was finished. It was more beautiful than I anticipated.

Loooooooooooooooooooootus flower bomb. Butterfly.

Why a lotus? 

Word to yogapoint:

The lotus flower grows from the bottom of streams and muddy ponds to rise above the water and bloom. It symbolically represents being fully grounded in earth, yet aspiring towards the divine. At night, the lotus flower closes, and sinks below the water, just to resurface again untouched the next day. The lotus flower is an iconic symbolism of beauty because it lives in the muddy water yet remains unsoiled.

The lotus represents me. I didn't want it to be fully bloomed because I'm forever a work in progress.

So, why the colors?

Red is for myself, representing the strength I've gained mentally, physically, and spiritually. The blue on the inside of the petals represents my mom; her favorite color. The orange on the seed pod represents my grandmother; one of her favorite colors. They'll forever be a part of me. 

So there you have it...tattoo #4 for the 4 (Yip!) born on the 4th. It was the most painful...even more painful than the one on my wrist. All day Saturday, I was walking like I was constipated; looking like I was 9 months pregnant while getting in and out of the car. Pure struggle.

But it was worth it.

Aside from a revamp of my 1st tattoo, I'm done with tattoos. 

I think. 

K to the...

"Bifcake" Chronicles: I'm out.

I got stood up two times this year. And I didn't get stood by some random dudes. No, these were guys I've known for more than 15 years; one I've known, basically, since birth.  The first "stand-up" wanted to take me to dinner; the second, meet up for drinks. The first "stand-up" I shrugged off because of the type of person he is. I could a write an entire blog series on this assh-...

Anywho.

The second "stand-up" I shrugged off, as well. I wasn't pissed because he wasn't responding to any of my texts the day of to confirm if we were still meeting up and if he decided on a location (Ya know, since it was his idea to meet up.). I wasn't pissed because of the "reason" for us not meeting up, which was told, maybe, 2 hours after we were supposed to me up (I honestly don't remember the timing. Number and texts were deleted after I got the "reason".).

None of that pissed me off because I had PATrick RONald and "Kill Bill" on DVD.


A couple of weeks later, he announces on Facebook the birth of his 2nd child.

So yeah...this dating thing?

Y'all can have it. I'm out.

F**k ninjas, get apples and grapes.

K to the...

Basketball Chronicles: No.

My ex and I are members of the same gym. When we were together, I visited with him a few times and loved it. Obviously, I didn't let a break-up affect where I go to "get it right, get it tight."

Because of previous experiences (click the "basketball" tag below for a recap), I don't get involved with guys from the gym. And, I'm definitely not trying to get involved with ANYONE connected to my ex. I don't care if the connection is a weekly hoop session.

No.

However, someone at the gym has forgotten that stance that I've made perfectly clear when dealing with Lt. Daniels. One of my good male friends says this someone may feel like he's an exception to my rule because he talks to me like I'm one of the fellas. The sexts and pics he's shown me...cheese and rice!

So two weeks ago, this happens

Excuse me?! What happened to asking?

Because of my straightforward response, this past Sunday, I had to hear him whine MULTIPLE TIMES about how I'm not his girl anymore...

...while holding a wall decal I ordered for him that he didn't give me the money for on Sunday because the money for the decal had to be used to pay an unexpected fee at the gym.

He told me that I could have told him why he couldn't come over. Is "OK I guess not" code for "Why"? I don't speak "Man"...someone help me out. After getting annoyed with his whining, I told him "You're being sensitive about this because I don't text you like these strags whose messages you show to me."

Please note, this is the same person who has had people asking him if we've had sex because they see us sitting on the sideline, talking and laughing. If that's the case, I'm juicing a few dudes; including the gentleman who graduated from h.s. before my mom hit puberty that I chat with whenever I see him.

Looks like I have to go back to keeping to myself on Sundays.

K to the...

Cubicle Chronicles: Oh, really!?!

Yesterday, while diligently working, my boss comes over to have a chat with my coworkers and I.

Idiot: How would you all feel about being outside in 52-degree weather?"

*Silence amongst myself and coworkers*

Me: What is going on?

Dumbass: Have y'all heard of the "Pegway tour" downtown?

Me: You mean the Segway tour? Yeah, I've heard of it.

Douche: Yeah, I want to do a tour next week. *shows printouts from Internet* And the warmest day next week will be 52 degrees.

Me: I mean, I can bundle up. You do know that with us being on the Segways, there will be a breeze. We'll be downtown, off the lake. It might be a bit chilly.

Estupido: Yeah. Well, an alternative could be a restaurant downtown.

Me: What is the special occasion?
Dummy: I'm tired of working. Just need a break...a day off.

OH REALLY, MY NIGGA!?!

I thought you liked sending emails on Saturday and Sunday nights. 

I thought you liked NOT closing the office the day after Thanksgiving and being the only one in the office.

I thought you liked coming in at 7a and not leaving until 8p.

You need a break!?

Feel free to take that Segway tour in 52-degree weather, with a wind chill of 40, by yourself. We'll gladly enjoy a break from YOU!

K to the...

"Quit acting like a female!"

“Stop wearing your panties when coming to play ball.”
“Men shouldn't be jealous, that’s a female trait”
“These females…”

The first quote is something I heard from the most whining dude I've ever played ball with. He said this to another dude. I wear panties when I hoop, and I don't whine.

Anywho, I'm fed up, joe*, and I need to get some ish off my chest.

1. Use of the word female

The use of the word “female” is something I've taken note of within the past 4-5 years. Unscientifically speaking, 90% of the time I've seen the word “female” used in a negative tone. In some instances, “female” is replacing “bitch” to show some respect.

O_o

“If I can’t call you women ‘females’, what should I call you?”

I read the above statement and wanted to kick a stuffed poodle. And it’s not just on social networking where this disrespect occurs, it happens in regular conversation I've had with men.

“Oh, you’re one of those ‘females’ that…”
“And you females wonder why…”

I have shut down mid-conversation when someone has used that word with me. You can't have a conversation with me without being negative towards the sex of which I'm a part...I don't have nothing to say to you.

2. “Female traits”

There seems to be two of the many traits human beings have that only women possess: jealousy and being emotional. Today, I'm going to focus on "being emotional."  Let me start with the fact that a human being, for the most part**, is either a man or a woman.

Got it?

I've been involved in plenty of discussions with men in regards to their emotions and I've concluded that men are just as emotional as women. The only difference, generally speaking, is the way those emotions are expressed.

Don’t tell me men aren't emotional when:

• I see men, every week, having a fit on the court because the ball wasn't passed to them.
• I see someone throw a chair because his team lost a game.
• I see two friends beef, publicly, when it could have easily been handled privately.
• I read prose or poetry written by men expressing their feelings of loss or heartache.
• I listen to a man privately break down after the end of a relationship, though, publicly, he seemed OK.

There are other examples, but you get my point.

Oh, these instances are exceptions to “the rule”?

"[I] don't believe you. You need more people."

K to the...

*Chi-town ish.
**I know there are some who identify as both. Hence the word “for the most part.”

Validation Pt. 2: Don't Get It Twisted

As stated before, my marital and parental statuses do not define me. But it doesn’t mean I wouldn't want those statuses to change, one day.

Back in January, I had to go the emergency room due to severe abdominal pain. After several tests, and extra strong pain meds were given, the doctor said it looked like there was a cyst was on my ovaries.

WHAT?!?

I immejitly followed up with my primary care physician, who referred me to an OB/GYN. I’m chatting with the OB/GYN, letting him know what I was told. Then, I say:

“I just want to make sure I am still able to have kids.”

I’ve always been pretty nonchalant when it comes to motherhood. But, this situation made me realize that I really wouldn't mind having a Mini Me, constantly reminding him/her that he/she "will grow into" his/her big forehead.

Then I'll show him/her pics of me as a youngster to prove it. X_X

K to the…