30 Day Challenge: #2 Letter to my crush

From the moment I heard "Spottieottiedopalicous" in h.s., I've been hooked. I was a freshman in college when "Stankonia" came out and to this day, that still album goes hard. I've nickname my humble abode "Stankonia" because of that album. I spent plenty days with the crew sophomore year zoning out to "Aquemini" as blunts were in rotation. No, I didn't smoke...life and music was my high; and maybe a cup of Absolut and papaya juice when it was time to party. Don't judge me, sir.

Then y'all did the unthinkable, and came out with a double album, "Speakerboxxx/The Love Below". I loved both albums, but it was something about yours that resulted in it having more scratches on it than your partner's. At this point, I knew I couldn't call myself an Outkast fan, and not have the first two albums, so I copped (OK, burned) "Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik" & "ATLiens." Yess, you and ya boy have been a major part of my undergrad years.

When y'all came out with "Idlewild," I honestly didn't see it as an album...I saw it as a soundtrack. But regardless, I still bought it and went to see the movie. I swear, I was the only one in the theater geeked up, singing "Moving Cool," word-for-word while everyone else was like "What is this?"

There hasn't been an Outkast album since Idlewild...and I have been fiending. However, you've been featured on some of everyone's joints, From Devin the Dude to Chris Brown...KILLING IT! And your fashion style is inimitable. Some see you as odd, but to me...mmm...I'm going.

But anywho, no more features. I need an album with you on every song...an Outkast album! Come on, Andre 3000...make it happen. And then help me scratch "Seeing Outkast in concert" off my bucket list. :-)

Crushing on you,

K to the...

30 Day Challenge: #1 Letter to my best friend

Dear HugMaNeck,

During the twenty plus years of friendship, we have watched each other grow from 1st graders to grown auss women. We have watched each other's younger sibling grow into beautiful young women. Now, it's almost that time to watch some of our own seeds grow to beautiful young women or handsome young men. With that said, I expect my god child to be conceived by 2012. Put the shut to the up...the sperm to the egg...and make it happen.

Love, Hug My Neck

P.S. Don't worry about when you'll get your godchild. This is about me and MY needs wants. lol

Random Rumblings 10.21.10

What up world!

I've seen folk do the 30 Prefixed topics...or 30 day letters for their blog. So I think I will be doing that. It will help me to update my blog more regularly.

So, coming later...a letter to my best friend.

K to the...

Love & Basketball Chronicles...9.20.10 pt. deux

Like I've said before, I've come across different types of men at the gym. I was so disgusted by the guys I would see, that any "gym rat", was NOT boyfriend potential, for me.

Well, my theory was proven wrong. Maybe because he doesn't have a membership at the Y. It's something about the level "bitch" in those Y cats that...

Wait, what was I saying?

Anywho, I used to be too friendly when it came to giving out my phone number. I would give guys my number, thinking they'll be cool...but then they'll turn out to be crazy, like this cat here.

So I stopped doing that ish. But I'd notice that some guys would just give me their numbers, without me asking; the same guys I had NO interest in.

Let's take it back...way back...but not really. Let's rewind to LAST YEAR (that's right, 2009).

I'm walking to my car as I'm leaving the gym and this guy walks out with me. He willingly gives me his number...I said I MIGHT call him. MIGHT! I think I may have seen him once or twice after that.

Now fast forward to July of THIS YEAR.

I see him and I say "what's up?"

He rolls his eyes at me.

O__O

I mean he rolled them so hard I should have hit him with the "You can roll em, you can control em, but you sholl can't..."

We ended up on the same team. He'll say what was necessary (ya know simple ish like "shoot the J...SHOOT IT!"1), but once the game is over, he still wouldn't speak to me.

It wasn't until last week when I was chatting with the Young Blood that he decides to speak.

So I hit him with the "now you wanna speak?" This is when he said he was mad at me because I didn't call him...LAST YEAR! He said he'll speak next time I see him....after he tried to give me his number, again!!!

What did we learn today, boys and girls?

Some men wear briefs...then you have some that wear panties. lol

K to the...

1. I was shullbitting. lol

Love & Basketball Chronicles: Hate Edition 9.20.10

Hello there, sports fans.

Time for another installment in “The Love & Basketball Chronicles: Hate edition”.

This post is about the "Young Meat". For those who didn’t read my blogpost on what a young meat is, here’s a quick review.

After a two week hiatus due to the basketball courts being closed, the gym is back open. So last week, as I was waiting for my game, I went off to the side to shoot some free throws. Well, this young gentleman, who we’ll call “Young Blood” decides to shoot around with me. No problem. Then, it turns into a series of free throw shooting contests, best out of 5. I’m thinking it’s all good (as in no flirting) because this Y.B. is aware of my age.

I was wrong.

So it gets to the tie breaking shot, and he goes “7-7-3.” I laugh it off like “I know he isn’t tryna ask for my number on the sly.

He was.

And he repeats it again. I wave him off, because I AIN'T GOING!!!

Before we left the gym, he says “You owe me!” I told him I owe him a Gatorade for losing.

Better to restore your electrolytes, rather than have your ego shattered by me NOT giving you my digits.

K to the...

"Oh, that golden rule."

Today’s blogpost is on my number 1 rule in life.

What is this rule you ask? Well, it’s quite simple.

SHUT THE HELL UP!

Following this simple rule will have you going places in life, son!

A) You don’t have to lie
If I don’t have to share info, then I won’t. When you share info, folk get curious and wanna ask questions. And if you don’t want folk to know certain details, you do one of two things: a) You lie, or; ii) you just shut the hell up.

“I'll go with ‘Shut The Hell Up,' for $500 Alex!”

2) You keep your friends
I had to end a “best friend”-ship because someone went and told my business and it got back to me. If I wanted other folk to know my business, I would have *wait for it* told them myself! Trust is an important factor with dealing with ships (friend and relation). You break it, you buy…the ship is severely compromised.

Also, who wants to be friends with someone who cant hold water if they were a camel with six humps? "Not I," said the poodle cat.

iii) You have inside jokes
Inside jokes can be so rude, but that doesn’t mean it ain’t funny to the insiders. I have an inside joke right now and when I type it, only one other person will get it. (I need to make sure she reads this post)

“Cervical jewelry”

You think you know what this is about, but you really don’t. Will the inside joke ever been outside? No! Why?

Because we shut the hell up!

d) You won't be ignored
I don't know about yall, but I hate being ignored. Whether it's being ignored by friends, or the mice who were in my apt acting as if I wasn't there as they snacked on the peanut butter that was in the mouse traps. *shrug* Sometimes, believe it or not, folk don't really care about certain ish that's going on in your life. If folk ask, then, obviously, they're curious and want to know. If not....then I'll just...ya know...

Shut the hell up!

So what have we learned, today, ladies and gentlemen?

I'm not telling you a damn thang! lol

"Now run and tell dat, homeboy!"

K to the...

P.S. The title of the post is the title of an Episode of The Wire from Season 4. Pop culture for the muthaluving win!

Hate & Basketball

What up yall! Welcome to the 2nd blogpost of the day. :-)

This is the 2nd installment in my chronicles on the court entitled "Hate & Basketball". I thought it would be ideal to share with my 5 readers my experiences at the gym.

Today, we're going to focus on the different types of guys I encounter at the gym.

1. The "Young Meat"

This is usually a young phallus-carrier between the ages of 16 and 23. He tries to holla, lowkey. It starts with a little flirting while on the court with me, then when I'm sitting down, he comes over and 99.999% of the time, the convo goes like this:

YM: What h.s. you go to?
Me: I graduated
YM: What college you go to?
Me: I graduated

2. The "Coach"

I put this in quotation marks because this person isn't a damn coach. He usually falls in the "Young Meat" category; but he feels that because he has a phallus, he has better knowledge of the game. Whereas, I have a vagina and don't know what I'm doing, besides run and make sure I dribble. He's usually the one saying:

"You've got to shoot more. Don't hesitate, just let it ride."
"I'm gonna set a screen for you and you're gonna shoot it"
"Let's run a play...Computer Blue"

Ok, maybe not the last line, but you get the point. How bout you shut up! I've been playing longer than you've been on Earth.

3. The "Underestimator"

Just this past Tuesday, my team was on a winning streak. During the 1st game, I was a bit sluggish since I hadn't hooped in over a month and was extra lax while on the court. So this "Young Meat" gets on the court and say "I'm gonna stick the girl. She's only gonna shoot...not much running around."

Ha!

I ran dude all over the court...and jizzed on him, dropping 3s all in his face.

4. The "Whiner"

This is the dude who is constantly complaining. I mean, I'm 5'6"...135lbs. You damn right I'm moving out the way when 6'12"...185lbs is charging towards the hoop, knees up. Negro gon' tell me "step in front him". What, and have a mastectomy & hysterectomy? I like my mams and uterus, thank you very much.

Every trip to the court has me either cracking up or side-eyeing until my ocular muscles can't take it anymore. But I love it...and I love the game. *shrug*

K to the...