Man plans, God laughs

Happy New Year!  I know you're thinking "It's not even Christmas, yet!"  I know.  But, for me, the new year doesn't start on January 1st; it starts on December 4th, the day I was born.  I am 20 days into the new year...the last year of my 20s!  And I must say for this year, my mindset on life has changed drastically due to last year's events.

I'm sure all 4 of my readers have that one song that is their jam that they can listen to on repeat.   Then, something happens in your life, and all of a sudden, that song sounds so different.  The words haven't changed...the beat is still the same...but whatever you went through makes you relate more to what the artist is saying in the song.  That's how I feel about "Laughing At Your Plans" by The Foreign Exchange.

From the moment we were little, we all made plans.  We planned on what we'll be when we grow up...to who and when we'll be married.   Then we lived life.  And life didn't give not-a-one damn about your plans.

That's where I am right now.  I made plans for life after undergrad.  And while certain plans weren't carried out, other great things happened in my life.  Like, straight awesomeness that wasn't planned!  But last year's plans not being carried out really hit me...hard.  It left me angry, hurt and depressed and thought I'd never recover.  Now, I'm at the point where I stopped making definite plans for my life.  I'm not out here living as if I don't have any responsibilities...or looking like a lost soul.  But you won't see me with any "To Do Before I Turn [insert age]" lists.*  There are some things that I'd like to do or goals I'd like to accomplish before I die, but if it's not meant to be, I can't force it.  I want God to laugh at my jokes...not at my plans.

So, I'm enjoying the now...and remembering to just let it be.

Happy New Year!

K to the...

*I'm not knocking anyone who does this.  Just speaking for myself.

Courtesy to whom!?

Assuming all 4 of my readers are adults, I’m sure you all are aware of the prevalence of germs that are in the bathroom. And I’m sure you all are aware that it’s better to flush the toilet when the lid is down. In case you don’t believe me, WebMD.com says:

According to Charles Gerba, PhD, PhD, a professor of microbiology at University of Arizona in Tucson, flushing the toilet with the lid up is not wise. "Polluted water vapor erupts out of the flushing toilet bowl and it can take several hours for these particles to finally settle -- not to mention where," he says. "If you have your toothbrush too close to the toilet, you are brushing your teeth with what's in your toilet."

Again, assuming all 4 of my readers are adults, I’m sure you all are knowledgeable of the public act of "The Courtesy Flush.”  In case you’re not, urbandictionary.com says:

A flush done in the middle of doing your business to either A) reduce the smell or B) reduce the chances or clogging the toilet.

Stay with me here.

Remember, Dr. Gerba said “polluted water vapor erupts out of the flushing toilet bowl,” and the lid should be closed when flushing the toilet.

You with me?

When you’re giving a courtesy flush, you’re sitting on the toilet, right?

So what does this mean?

The bacteria from the toilet is shooting up in my…

Wait, whaaaat?

So, when nature calls while I'm out and about, am I putting my Nina at risk for the courtesy of strangers? 

I need to rethink this.

K to the...

#DatLostWeightStruggle

So, back in July, I wrote about me losing #DatComfortWeight and how that was progressing.  Ever since April, I've lost a total of 12 lbs.  I'm not sure if it's noticeable by others, but it's cool; I did this for me.  

Anywho, it feels good to be back in shape and everything, but I'm going through #DatLostWeightStruggle right now.  Earlier this year, I racked up on skinny jeans.  Different fits, different washes...ALL SKINNY!  There is this one fit of jeans, The Boyfriend Fit, that really fat* well on me...at the time I bought them.  

This past Sunday, I had on a pair of The Boyfriend Fit jeans for the first time in a while.  These maugs fat* like a pair of harem pants!  In case you're not familiar with how harem pants look:

Those jeans weren't supposed to look like this on me, son!

Lemme find out I, now, have to put my jeans in the dryer when I wash them, or even worse...

LEMME FIND OUT I HAVE BUY A SMALLER SIZE!!!

Another part of #DatLostWeightStruggle is the fact that I gave away all of those clothes, so now I have to re-up.  This isn't a bad thing, though.  :-)

So, I'm back in shape and my clothes are falling off my auss, which seems to be disappearing, as well.  *cries*   But, I'm in good health, so I can't really complain, can I?

K to the...

*In my mind, "fat" is the past tense of "fit" *shrug*

"And it came to me...like an epiphany..."

*Very personal, so, excuse me.*

Anybody who is on Twitter or Tumblr knows of the vast amount of information that is shared on a daily basis.  Whether it's someone sharing their personal issues or just sharing what's going on in the world.  Well, yesterday, I read a post on Tumblr from someone who is dealing with depression and it made me think.

I don't suffer from depression, but I've been in a relationship with someone who dealt with depression.  I, personally, don't know how it feels to deal with depression; but I know I wanted to be there for him when he was feeling down.  I wanted him to tell me what was wrong.  I wanted to be the one who held him in my scrawny arms, kissed him on the forehead and said "I'm here."  After awhile, I learned certain behaviors of those who'd suffer from depression.  There was one that bothered me the most: not wanting to be around others, including significant others.  It made me feel useless, but I respected his wishes.

So yesterday, when I was reading that person's post, I had an epiphany about myself.  I HATE not being able to help the ones I love.  And I don't mean, someone asking for $20 and I only have $3; I'm talking deeper than that. 

Hating that I can't help others ties into one of the negative qualities I possess...which is being controlling.  This "controlling" part of me only shows in certain situations; other than that, I am a very patient person (See: celibacy and going natural. You can't be impatient going through this! hahaha).  But, when it comes to certain things I have ABSOLUTELY no control over...not so much.  And, I've been working on it.

This epiphany hit me while I was walking to lunch yesterday, and I felt so much better after acknowledging it.  The more self-evaluating I do, the more things start to make sense.  Just another part of growing up, I guess.

K to the...

Ok, We Get It: Part deux

It's that time, ladies and gents...dogs, cats, and babies!  If you read Part 1, then you already know how it goes.  So here we go!

Ok, we get it…you don’t like Lil Wayne.

Ok, we get it…you think Carter IV is garbage.

Ok, we get it…you think Drake has a vagina.

Ok, we get it…Jesus is more important to you than finding out Beyonce is pregnant.

Ok, we get it…you don’t give a solitary f*** about ANYTHING in life because you have way more important things to worry about.

Ok, we get it…head would be nice in the morning.

Ok, we get it…Jay-Z and Kanye flaunts their riches while the country is going broke.

Ok, we get it…”Watch The Throne” was overhyped.

Ok, we get it…football is back.

Ok, we get it…you hate football.

Ok, we get it…while I sleep, you grind.

Ok, we get it…you’re [insert all positives attributes here] but can’t figure out why you’re still single.

Ok, we get it…your astrology sign is the only one that loves, has friends, or is the best at sex.

*These next few were addressed in Part 1. Obviously, people are STILL talking about it.*

Ok, we get it…Black women are [insert negative adjective here]

Ok, we get it…you’re natural.

Anything else I miss?

K to the…

Hear My Call

Here I am again asking questions,
Waiting to be moved.
I am so unsure of my perception,
What I thought I knew I don't seem to
Where is the turn so I can get back to what I believe in?
Back to the old me and

God, please hear my call.
I am afraid for me.
Love has burned me raw
I need your healing
Please, please, please.

I am such a fool
How did I get here?
Played by all the rules
Then they changed
I am but a child to your vision
Standing in the cold and the rain
Lost here in the dark
I can't see my foot to take a step,
What is happening?
Oh, this hurts so bad. I can hardly breathe.
I just want to leave so...

God, please hear my call.
I am afraid for me.
Love has burned me raw
I need your healing
Please,
God, please hear my call.
I am afraid for me.
Love has burned me raw
I need your healing
Please, please, oh, please, please.

God please hear my call.
I am afraid.
Love has turned me cold,
I need your healing.
Please, please, please, please, please, please.


-Jill Scott - "Hear My Call"


God has laughed at all of my plans (word to Foreign Exchange) the past couple of months.  But you know what...I'm still here...


Taking it one day at a time...


I WILL get through all of this.

#DatComfortWeight

The comfort weight struggle is real, in the streets, people!

Prior to my current relationship, I was 138lbs; well within my usual range of 135lbs - 140lbs. Then, I got comfortable. I wasn't being a bum and sitting around eating gyros and fries with mild sauce all day. Tempting, but no. I just didn't have a regular workout routine and I hooped sparingly.

When I joined a new gym, I was given a body assessment and boy were my feelings hurt. I was up to 147lbs, and the measurements I had when I bought my bridesmaid dress back in September or October had changed. I thought it was a fraud. However, I noticed my clothes weren’t fitting the same. Unless you’ve seen me naked or gave birth to me (she notices EVERYTHING about me), you wouldn’t have notice all of these changes. I gave away bags of clothes because I just didn’t feel comfortable in them; though they still fit me. Plus, I was moving and it was time for me to get rid of some clothes, anyway.

After that body assessment, I was committed to getting back in the gym like I used to. I wasn’t really focused on losing weight…just toning up and being healthy. In April, I had moved closer to my gym, so there was no excuse to be “lazy”. I went hard in April because I had that bridesmaid dress to fit in…COMFORTABLY. As a bridesmaid, it's important that I am able to eat and juke without feeling like I have to change out of that dress. Priorities, people! :-) Well, May 20th came, and the dress felt great on me.

The wedding festivities were over, but I kept the party going and continued to workout and hoop more. It helps having a beau who hoops on the regular. :-) So here I am, writing to you weighing 140lbs, as of yesterday morning. And I feel great.

Moral of the story? Playas f*** up!

LOL J/k

Ain't no moral. Just gotta keep on living. ;-)

K to the...

Taking the car out of neutral...

[Excuse the foul language and the touch of rambling. I'm fed up.]

From as long as I can remember, I have always been the “neutral party” when a friend of mine has gotten into with another friend. There was one instance in high school, A messed with B’s crush. I remember this ish vividly. I told B what A did, and A stopped talking to me altogether. So who looked like the bad person? ME, though I wasn’t the one being a tool found in Home Depot. Ever since, I listen to both sides of a story, but I won't go back and tell what one party said about the other.

But, today, I’m totally rethinking this neutral shit. Recently, I was given the cold shoulder by one party, and sub-tweeted by another. It’s obvious everyone doesn’t have the same mentality I have, hasn’t been through the same shit I’ve been through, and aren’t the same age as me. During undergrad, I held a lot of ish in when I would get upset because I don’t like conflict and I am such an introvert. I have a “think first, speak second” mentality; and the times when I would lash out without thinking, I’d felt like crap afterwards. It’s just who I am. I guess I should blame my zodiac sign, but I don’t know the qualities of folk who are under my new zodiac sign, Ophucurself*.

But anyway, I’d wait until anger would really build up inside of me, and then confront someone…months later. I know, wacktastical. But as I’ve gotten older, and realizing that worry lines in my face take away from my youthful looks, I speak up. That’s what adults do. If I have a question about something that’s bothering me, I’m going to ask. These experiences have molded me into the person I am today.

So the gear has been shifted from “Neutral” to “Drive” and I’m moving on from this bullshit.

Cuz for the umpteenth time in the past 3 years of my life, I’m guilty by ASSociation and ASSumptions.

Because I chose to be a friend.

K to the…

*I don't mess with that new sign astrologically, though.

"[S]he had game cuz [s]he used to hoop in Chatham..."

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love to play ball. When I was in grammar school, I said I'd be the first girl in the NBA.

Then the WNBA was established. So, in high school, I said that I would go to the WNBA. But, my senior year of high school, I wasn't recruited by any colleges to play ball. That didn't stop me. I tried out for the women's team when I got to Bradley University, and made it! But because I wasn't recruited and I was joining the team after my classes were chosen, I couldn't make all of the practices. So, I let that go and focused on living the college life and graduating. I still played when I got a chance.

A couple of years after I graduated, Chicago got a WNBA team! I was so excited, I emailed the team, inquiring about tryouts. But, due to the expansion (I believe), they weren't having any tryouts. It seems at this point, I had finally let the hoop dream go.

Well, yesterday I found out the Sky had tryouts for the upcoming season. I was so sad that I missed them. Though WNBA players don't get paid NEARLY as much as NBA players, it has to feel good to get paid for doing something you love! Even if it is for a few months out of the year.

What if I didn't make the team? Well, at least I could say that I tried, ya know.

So, I'll continue to work on my game like I've been doing. But, please believe, the next time I hear about tryouts, I'm in there like booty hair!

K to the...

Cubicle Chronicles 5.5.11

**Happy Cinco de Mayo!**

As a child, if I woke up and didn’t say “good morning,” my grandmother would hit me with the, “I didn’t sleep with you last night!” So, it’s nothing for me to say good morning to people. It’s not that I’m a morning person…it’s just me being courteous.

So, I was walking past this consistently-rude-auss this morning when I got to work.

I said good morning.

He said nothing.

Whatever.

So I keep walking towards my desk; jacket and sunglasses still on with newspaper in hand.

NOW he wants to speak to me.

About resolving an issue that was already resolved last month.

You can’t say good morning, but you wanna talk to me about work?!

Before I even get to my desk?!

Have a seat!

K to the...

"...to the east side"

What up, y'all! I don't know what it is about the month of March, but it's definitely been March Madness for me the past three years, and I'm not talking NCAA. Well, this year's March Madness was me finding a place to stay. My lease ended on March 31st in the place unaffectionately known as "Baby Stateway Gardens" in the luxurious South Shore neighborhoood. I was there a total of three years, and thought I'd be there longer than that. However, I knew in May 2010, I wasn't renewing my lease. Lemme tell y'all why I didn't renew my lease.

• I dealt with mice…TWICE! And it wasn’t during the time of the year when mice usually appear when they are trying to find some cover from the cold. NAW, these bastards were around when it was warm. Neither Mickey nor Ben's names were on my lease, yet they were up in there like they paid rent.


• I dealt with roaches. Not so much in my apt, but in the COMMON AREAS of the building. Someone moved out of their apt and there were roaches all over the damn building. For me to have to scurry pass the elevators to avoid seeing a roach is just...ugh. Call me "bourgeois" all you want. I grew up in a house where I only dealt with spiders and ants. I don't do roaches!


• There were about 9 cats that roamed the parking lot of my building. There was a man that came out everyday and fed those cats; even during a thunderstorm (I seent with my own 4 eyes). He was so attached to the cats, he even noticed when one went missing. These gangsta auss felines would also walk on folk's cars in the lot, including mine. I had a piece of a cheddar biscuit chillin on my windshield wiper one day and was befuddled. I'd even had paw prints on my windshield.


• I dealt with people who can’t park. There are two lines your car should be parked in between. I was parked between two people who didn’t understand this concept. If my hips were wider and thighs were bigger, I wouldn’t have been able to get in and out of my car everyday. Also, someone parked in MY spot, one day, so I was forced to park in theirs. However, they left ME a note saying to show some respect. What?


• I witnessed two carjackings in a 10 minute period from my living room window…AFTER hearing gunshots fired at a police officer. I saw the whole thing, picked the guy out of a line-up AND testified before the grand jury. Yep, I’m a snitch.


• Three of my visitors have had their cars vandalized.

And all of this happened during the 3rd year of me staying there. So yeah, it was time for me to go. I have moved on up (well, down to the first floor) to the East Side (literally, east of Chicago). And I love it. So hopefully, the only pests I'll be writing about are the ones I see OUTSIDE through my patio door. :-)

K to the...

*insert title here*

I joined a new gym on 1/31 and was given a free body assessment yesterday.

Effed me up!!!

The only scales I really trust are the one's at my doctor's office, and digital scales. I definitely don't trust scales at the gym, and yesterday confirmed why. According to the scale yesterday, I've gained 8 lbs in the past month; even though I've been playing bball and working out way more often. This doesn't make sense to me. And we won't even talk about the measurements.

So I decided, eff the numbers! I'm just going to continue my workout routine of cardio, lifting, and basketball. I'm comfortable with my range of 135-140...but hearing 147 yesterday? Psssh! Ain't no way!

I have another assessment in 3 months. Aside from Mardi Gras, there won't be any moments where I just KNOW I'm going indulge in decadent cuisine and copious amounts of liquor! Hey, I'm just being honest! :-)

This whole getting older thing sucks, sometimes. But grandmother always say "Just keep living."

K to the...

P.S. I found out my biceps are about 10 inches. Whenever y'all wanna buy tix to the gun show *kisses biceps* let me know!

*sigh*

People have been crossing the line lately when it comes to my relationship. I mean, putting their nose all up in my business when I didn't ask. And this morning, I got even more irritated.

If I'm on wikipedia reading about a celebrity and their wedding picture is showing in their biography...that doesn't mean I'm thinking about marriage.

If I'm googling Usher's tattoos, tryna get a closer look at them...that doesn't mean I'm looking at pics of my boyfriend.
**He doesn't even look like Usher. And why would I google photos of my boyfriend...at work?**

I'm currently searching for an apt because I refuse to renew my lease in Baby Stateway Gardens...that doesn't mean that we are moving in together.

If we spend a splendiferous weekend together...that doesn't mean I'm, now, engaged. Excuse me if my great-grandmother's ring (which doesn't look sheeit like an engagement ring) fits better on my left hand's ring finger.

I don't know if he goes through this insinuating shullbit that I go through, but it seems like I do, on a weekly basis! I'm tired of it. It's like maugs are reaching!

Well, ya arms are too short to box with God...or something like that.

I'm extremely happy, and I don't feel I have to constantly tell everyone that. The ones I'm close to know how I feel about him; he knows how I feel about him. He and those people are the only ones that matter.

So, the moral of the story this blogpost?

MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!

Worry about YOUR relationships...or lack of.

Use that button at the upper right hand corner of your phone labeled "Fall Back,"* Jabroni!

K to the...

*Borrowed :-)

"You think y'all kick it...but, boy we puntin..."

What up, folk! Time for another installment of "This Time...Last Year..."

If you know me, then you know that New Orleans is like my favorite city to visit. I first experienced New Orleans during Mardi Gras in 2009. I had so much fun, it was automatic that we would be down, again, in 2010. We made plans, but those plans had fell through about two weeks before the trip.

Disappointed wasn't EVEN the word!

Exactly a year ago, today, the Saints won their first Super Bowl...and one week later was Fat Tuesday. After seeing how CRAZY it was in New Orleans the night of the championship, and after much coercion from my cousin hitting me with the "Nawlins or Bust"...we scrambled to make this trip happen.

And we did!

Six days later, at 12am on a Saturday, we hit the road in the rental which we christened "Lady Ratchett".

Fifteen hours later, including a two hour nap at a rest stop (excitement can only give you so much energy), we made it to Baton Rouge, LA. Since we decided at the last minute to go...and it was a week before Mardi Gras...we were able to get a hook-up on a room in BR. And let me tell y'all...no matter how fast you are going, BR is ALWAYS an hour from New Orleans.

Saying "We had a blast!" is an understatement!

• Went back to our favorite restaurant, Ralph & Kacoo's.
• We gave ourselves a tour of the 9th Ward (which looked like a ghost town)
  
  
• We met new friends thanks to my "Illinois" hoodie. (No, we don't know who those people are behind us)

• We hit up the Zulu Parade

• Maxed a couple of po' boys

• Killed a "WTF" daquiri. You might be asking, "WTH is a 'WTF'?" Well, it's thirty-two ounces of pure inebriation...THAT'S WTF it is!





• We had one...four many Hand Grenades

However, I think the highlight of the trip was getting kicked off Bourbon Street when the clock struck midnight on Ash Wednesday...AFTER doing the cupid shuffle in the middle of Bourbon Street!



Well, it's almost that time. Fat Tuesday is in March, this year...and please believe, we down there again!

Third time's a charm, right?

K to the...

"Drunk nights get remembered more than sober ones..."

Yesterday, before leaving my mom’s, I noticed my sideview mirrors were FILTHY! So I wiped the driver side mirror down, and I attempted to let down the passenger side window down…

but it wouldn’t go down…

then I noticed…

the window lock was on…

Why?

Oh yeah! I had to lock the windows the other night to keep someone, who was drunk, from letting the windows down so they could continue to talk sheeit as we left the party.

hehehehe What a night…

K to the...

This time...last year...

What up folk, no. G.D.!

So I had this GREAT idea for a 2010 wrap-up blog post that I was going to post on December 30th...

Then I was going to post it on December 31st...

Then 2011 was here, so it seemed pointless.

But I'm still going to do it, but on some reminiscing type stuff. So here is the first installment of "This One Time In Band Camp This Time...Last Year..."

America's Next Red Pump Model

I am the accountant for the Red Pump Project and this time last year, we had a photo shoot. I was in the fashion show every year at good ole Bradley U, but the photo shoot is different. We were there ALL DAY, but it was worth it because the pics came out BEAUTIFUL! We slayed an abundance of hoes!

It was also at this photoshoot where I had my eyebrows arched for the first time in my life. Alls my life, I thought my eyebrows were too thin to be arched or anything...until that photoshoot! So I've gone to get my eyebrows arched a few times since the photoshoot.

No lie, nobody could tell me sheeit that day! I wanted to sleep in my make-up and eyelashes! That's how good I felt. Shout out to Andrea Camille and TPP Photography for the hoe slayage help! :-)

K to the...

First things first...

I have a blogpost in my drafts that I wanted to share on 12/31/10. See, what had happened was...

The post was a year end wrap-up with a twist. There were quite a few things I did for the first time last year, so I wanted to share that with you all....pics and everything.

I think I will post it before the week ends.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

K to the...