Yogi Chronicles

I've noticed that I don't write much about this "yogi" life of which I am 'bout! Well, let me sauté ON today.

I attended my first hatha yoga class in November 2011. Pure. Struggle. After the first downward dog, I thought "What did I sign up for?" I hated that pose. My instructor, Joanna, said the poses that you hate the most are usually the ones you need. And that pose was the one I needed. My strength has always been, mainly, in my legs. But, now...

*kisses guns*

In September 2012, thanks to a suggestion from a classmate, I signed up for the power yoga (advanced) class. I was skeptical because I didn't want to feel as if I was getting ahead of myself. She saw how I was progressing in hatha and figured I could do it. Though my arms felt like noodles the first 3 weeks of the class, I was glad that I did sign up. 

As of today, I still attend those two classes...err week. In addition to feeling the results of the practice (better breathing, better posture, listening to the body, etc.) I've seen the results. 

Also, being able to hold poses I never thought I'd be able to do is dope, as well.

Not even a horrid Bears game in the background could break my concentration. Swank!

So yeah. My name is K.D.. I am a yogi. I'm 'bout dat life. And hope to be 'bout dat life until I'm 86 like one of my Saturday morning classmates.

Namaste.

K to the...

Music Monday - 12.16.13

You already know what happened at 12:00am EST on December 13, 2013. And if you don’t know…sorry for ya!

Let me say that I am a big fan of Beyoncé. I’ve seen her in concert the last three times she was in Chicago. After she did what she did at 12:00am EST on December 13, 2013, I went to Stubhub to see if there was a way for me to see her again when she was in Chicago on the same date. Yes, I saw her in July, and there was a good chance the show was the same (she only did one new song)…but she puts on a great show!

But I wasn’t paying more than $100 for nosebleed seats.

So, anywho…here is my current ranking of Beyoncé albums.

1. B’Day/4
2. BEYONCÉ
3. Dangerously in Love
4. I Am…Sasha Fierce

Any of my 5 readers fans? What's your ranking?

Happy Monday.

K to the…

"...at [9lbs] when I was born, I didn't give her no pain."

Today marks the beginning of a new year. Year 30, was when my "f*** it" kicked into high gear. Things that were important before were no longer priority. After my grandmother's diagnosis, toxic relationships were handled:

-Cursed out my mother's oldest brother.

-Distanced myself from my bitter ass coworker and her miserable ass miserableness.

-Confronted my father about the shitty relationship between his daughter* and I. He blamed her mother's jealousy of me on the shittiness...as if he isn't OUR father.

-Stopped sugar-coating with these weak ass men I encounter (on the court, exes, those in pursuit, etc.).

Year 30 had its great moments, but overall, it was mentally amd spiritually draining.

So, what will Year 31 bring?

Stay tuned.

Happy Birthday, Kenya!

K to the...

*Not to be confused with "The Troll," my 18 year old sister. Two totally different people.

C.R.E.A.M. get the money

Late in December 2012, I came across this challenge while cruising the Tumblr streets:

I saw the end result and knew I had to do it. My best friend's husband is stationed in Italy for three years. I told her I'd give her a year to get settled before I came to visit. You see that total after week 52?

Airfare, baby!

As of the start of next week, I'll be up to $1,128. I think when 2014 arrives, I'll continue to put money back; but I'll start with $52 and work my way down until we leave in September 2014. This could be my spending money. Whoop!

Ciao!

K to the...

Lotus

So, I got tattoo #4 this past Friday. After the artist, Ryan, drew the blueprint on my skin, I didn't look down at my stomach until he was finished. It was more beautiful than I anticipated.

Loooooooooooooooooooootus flower bomb. Butterfly.

Why a lotus? 

Word to yogapoint:

The lotus flower grows from the bottom of streams and muddy ponds to rise above the water and bloom. It symbolically represents being fully grounded in earth, yet aspiring towards the divine. At night, the lotus flower closes, and sinks below the water, just to resurface again untouched the next day. The lotus flower is an iconic symbolism of beauty because it lives in the muddy water yet remains unsoiled.

The lotus represents me. I didn't want it to be fully bloomed because I'm forever a work in progress.

So, why the colors?

Red is for myself, representing the strength I've gained mentally, physically, and spiritually. The blue on the inside of the petals represents my mom; her favorite color. The orange on the seed pod represents my grandmother; one of her favorite colors. They'll forever be a part of me. 

So there you have it...tattoo #4 for the 4 (Yip!) born on the 4th. It was the most painful...even more painful than the one on my wrist. All day Saturday, I was walking like I was constipated; looking like I was 9 months pregnant while getting in and out of the car. Pure struggle.

But it was worth it.

Aside from a revamp of my 1st tattoo, I'm done with tattoos. 

I think. 

K to the...

"Bifcake" Chronicles: I'm out.

I got stood up two times this year. And I didn't get stood by some random dudes. No, these were guys I've known for more than 15 years; one I've known, basically, since birth.  The first "stand-up" wanted to take me to dinner; the second, meet up for drinks. The first "stand-up" I shrugged off because of the type of person he is. I could a write an entire blog series on this assh-...

Anywho.

The second "stand-up" I shrugged off, as well. I wasn't pissed because he wasn't responding to any of my texts the day of to confirm if we were still meeting up and if he decided on a location (Ya know, since it was his idea to meet up.). I wasn't pissed because of the "reason" for us not meeting up, which was told, maybe, 2 hours after we were supposed to me up (I honestly don't remember the timing. Number and texts were deleted after I got the "reason".).

None of that pissed me off because I had PATrick RONald and "Kill Bill" on DVD.


A couple of weeks later, he announces on Facebook the birth of his 2nd child.

So yeah...this dating thing?

Y'all can have it. I'm out.

F**k ninjas, get apples and grapes.

K to the...

Basketball Chronicles: No.

My ex and I are members of the same gym. When we were together, I visited with him a few times and loved it. Obviously, I didn't let a break-up affect where I go to "get it right, get it tight."

Because of previous experiences (click the "basketball" tag below for a recap), I don't get involved with guys from the gym. And, I'm definitely not trying to get involved with ANYONE connected to my ex. I don't care if the connection is a weekly hoop session.

No.

However, someone at the gym has forgotten that stance that I've made perfectly clear when dealing with Lt. Daniels. One of my good male friends says this someone may feel like he's an exception to my rule because he talks to me like I'm one of the fellas. The sexts and pics he's shown me...cheese and rice!

So two weeks ago, this happens

Excuse me?! What happened to asking?

Because of my straightforward response, this past Sunday, I had to hear him whine MULTIPLE TIMES about how I'm not his girl anymore...

...while holding a wall decal I ordered for him that he didn't give me the money for on Sunday because the money for the decal had to be used to pay an unexpected fee at the gym.

He told me that I could have told him why he couldn't come over. Is "OK I guess not" code for "Why"? I don't speak "Man"...someone help me out. After getting annoyed with his whining, I told him "You're being sensitive about this because I don't text you like these strags whose messages you show to me."

Please note, this is the same person who has had people asking him if we've had sex because they see us sitting on the sideline, talking and laughing. If that's the case, I'm juicing a few dudes; including the gentleman who graduated from h.s. before my mom hit puberty that I chat with whenever I see him.

Looks like I have to go back to keeping to myself on Sundays.

K to the...

Cubicle Chronicles: Oh, really!?!

Yesterday, while diligently working, my boss comes over to have a chat with my coworkers and I.

Idiot: How would you all feel about being outside in 52-degree weather?"

*Silence amongst myself and coworkers*

Me: What is going on?

Dumbass: Have y'all heard of the "Pegway tour" downtown?

Me: You mean the Segway tour? Yeah, I've heard of it.

Douche: Yeah, I want to do a tour next week. *shows printouts from Internet* And the warmest day next week will be 52 degrees.

Me: I mean, I can bundle up. You do know that with us being on the Segways, there will be a breeze. We'll be downtown, off the lake. It might be a bit chilly.

Estupido: Yeah. Well, an alternative could be a restaurant downtown.

Me: What is the special occasion?
Dummy: I'm tired of working. Just need a break...a day off.

OH REALLY, MY NIGGA!?!

I thought you liked sending emails on Saturday and Sunday nights. 

I thought you liked NOT closing the office the day after Thanksgiving and being the only one in the office.

I thought you liked coming in at 7a and not leaving until 8p.

You need a break!?

Feel free to take that Segway tour in 52-degree weather, with a wind chill of 40, by yourself. We'll gladly enjoy a break from YOU!

K to the...

"Quit acting like a female!"

“Stop wearing your panties when coming to play ball.”
“Men shouldn't be jealous, that’s a female trait”
“These females…”

The first quote is something I heard from the most whining dude I've ever played ball with. He said this to another dude. I wear panties when I hoop, and I don't whine.

Anywho, I'm fed up, joe*, and I need to get some ish off my chest.

1. Use of the word female

The use of the word “female” is something I've taken note of within the past 4-5 years. Unscientifically speaking, 90% of the time I've seen the word “female” used in a negative tone. In some instances, “female” is replacing “bitch” to show some respect.

O_o

“If I can’t call you women ‘females’, what should I call you?”

I read the above statement and wanted to kick a stuffed poodle. And it’s not just on social networking where this disrespect occurs, it happens in regular conversation I've had with men.

“Oh, you’re one of those ‘females’ that…”
“And you females wonder why…”

I have shut down mid-conversation when someone has used that word with me. You can't have a conversation with me without being negative towards the sex of which I'm a part...I don't have nothing to say to you.

2. “Female traits”

There seems to be two of the many traits human beings have that only women possess: jealousy and being emotional. Today, I'm going to focus on "being emotional."  Let me start with the fact that a human being, for the most part**, is either a man or a woman.

Got it?

I've been involved in plenty of discussions with men in regards to their emotions and I've concluded that men are just as emotional as women. The only difference, generally speaking, is the way those emotions are expressed.

Don’t tell me men aren't emotional when:

• I see men, every week, having a fit on the court because the ball wasn't passed to them.
• I see someone throw a chair because his team lost a game.
• I see two friends beef, publicly, when it could have easily been handled privately.
• I read prose or poetry written by men expressing their feelings of loss or heartache.
• I listen to a man privately break down after the end of a relationship, though, publicly, he seemed OK.

There are other examples, but you get my point.

Oh, these instances are exceptions to “the rule”?

"[I] don't believe you. You need more people."

K to the...

*Chi-town ish.
**I know there are some who identify as both. Hence the word “for the most part.”

Validation Pt. 2: Don't Get It Twisted

As stated before, my marital and parental statuses do not define me. But it doesn’t mean I wouldn't want those statuses to change, one day.

Back in January, I had to go the emergency room due to severe abdominal pain. After several tests, and extra strong pain meds were given, the doctor said it looked like there was a cyst was on my ovaries.

WHAT?!?

I immejitly followed up with my primary care physician, who referred me to an OB/GYN. I’m chatting with the OB/GYN, letting him know what I was told. Then, I say:

“I just want to make sure I am still able to have kids.”

I’ve always been pretty nonchalant when it comes to motherhood. But, this situation made me realize that I really wouldn't mind having a Mini Me, constantly reminding him/her that he/she "will grow into" his/her big forehead.

Then I'll show him/her pics of me as a youngster to prove it. X_X

K to the…

The Jukebox is pleased.

September 2013 has been the month of great album releases. I can't remember the last time I bought this many albums in one month.

Yes, I buy albums.

Below are the albums that have been in rotation this month.

This was released in July, but I finally copped in September.
Pharrell left his mark on this joint.

Electrosophistfunkylady

John is in love...and I am here for it!

I'm a huge fan. I even got my mom hooked on them and my
boo-in-my-head Zo!.

Don't let the OFWGKTA affiliation scare you.
The Internet is a dope group.

So many adjectives have been given to Drake. But what you
WILL NOT call him is "inconsistent".

Part 2 has a different feel than Part 1. Timbo stay killing it!

Happy Friday!

K to the...

Validation

There are a number of people who have an issue with me:

1) Not being in a relationship

2) Not being married

3) Not having kids

But, I don't have an issue with the items listed above. 

Because that shit doesn't validate me. 

Know what validates me?

My awesomeness.

Get into it.

K to the...

Basketball Chronicles: Respect

Due to, possibly, the Bears opener, there wasn't a lot of bodies on the court. The hoop session ended about an hour earlier than usual. I wasn't quite ready to leave after getting a win, but I was ready to go watch the Bears.

So, I made a little joke to the guys who were getting ready to leave. Keep in mind, I'm 2-5 years older than the guys I was joking with. I called them "old".

Well, someone felt some type of way about the joke and proceed to downplay what I go through on the court.

"You don't get banged up as much as we do. All you do is stand out there and shoot."

-__-

Let me remind you at 5' 5 1/2", maybe 130 lbs, I am the smallest person on the court. There is a dude shorter than me on the court, but he has more weight. I'm playing against guys faster and stronger than me. I'm playing against guys who have been gassed to think they are post players because they can back me (and only me) down in the paint. I'm playing against guys who challenge me when I'm on offense and when I'm on defense; which I appreciate. I've NEVER asked anyone to show me any type of mercy on the court.

Basically, I PLAY BASKETBALL!!!

I've been playing this game for 20+ years. I won't allow anybody to downplay what I go through when I step on that court.

I guess me wearing an ankle brace and knee band is just for show.

K to the...

Look at God!

Yesterday morning, my mother called me while at work.  Her voice was calm...but it was an unusual calm. 

“I just had a gun pointed at me.”

She was standing outside of her job, talking on the phone with a family friend.  Two guys walked by her.  She continues her phone conversation.  Moments later, she hears a voice behind her.  She turns around, and it’s one of the dudes, face covered…gun pointed at her face.  She screamed and immediately ran back inside of her job.

My mom works at an adult day center in the neighborhood she grew up in.

The neighborhood I grew up in.

The neighborhood my grandmother STILL lives in.

Yesterday was my grandfather's 77th birthday.

During our long embrace, she said

"My dad had my back today."

Yes, he did.

K to the...

#31WriteNow Day 31 - Fantastically and Randomly KD

Thanks for hanging with me with this challenge, y'all. I hope you enjoyed what you read.  I also hope you don't expect to see a post everyday after today.* My next post could be next week...or two months from now.

I know...random.  But, you see the name of my blog.  What did you expect? ;-)

Shoutout to Luvvie for coming up with this challenge. Coming up with posts for 31 days in a row isn't easy.  Neither is pimpin, but it has to be done.

"Green for the money, gold for the honey!"

Till the next post.

K to the...

*Don't want to get any of my 6 readers' hopes up.  I care.

#31WriteNow Day 30 - Another #Realissue

I was jamming, per usual, during my commute today and came across "Arab Money" on the iPizznayee.



What. The Hell. Was. Ron Browz. Saying?

Here's my interpretation:


Click "megaphone" for sound if red "x" is showing

Happy Friday!

K to the...

#31WriteNow Day 29 - #Realissue Thursday

I asked my peeps for topics to write about as the challenge comes to a close.  My girl, DJ T-Race, posed the following question which made me cackle:

"Why is it that we never see baby pigeons?"

After I cackled, I said "Self?"  Self said "Girl, that's a deep question!" So I was thinking.

You know, with my brain.

Do pigeons come out mother pigeon's vagina as a full-size pigeon? Do they age faster than dogs?  Like, is a pigeon at 2 months the equivalent of a 5-year-old pigeon?

All this talk about Destiny Hope Cyrus and her flat ass "twerking"...let's talk about the real issues, people!

Do baby pigeons exist?  

K to the...

#31WriteNow Day 28 - Unpopular Opinion pt. deux

Title is self-explanatory.  Let's get it!

Milk

I love drinking milk! I haven't been cursed with lactose intoleration in this dancerie...yet. I'll, gladly, accept a glass of 2% milk. Add some Strawberry Nesquik to the glass?  Deliciousness! Chocolate milk post-workout? Awesomeness!

Chicken

Tasty? Yes!  Nutritious? Depending on how it's made, yes!  Is my life out of whack when my "chicken levels are low"? No. 

Bacon

Keep your bacon-scented, bacon-flavored, bacon-wrapped, bacon-soaked, bacon-slapped items away from me! Though I don't eat bacon often, I do love it.  But I don't need my dessert to have bacon pieces in it. Nope.

Yogurt

Greek, American, French, Indonesian, Sri Lankan...get that away from me! Yogurt tastes like bad decisions. No thanks!

Grits

Gross!

Jhene Aiko

My opinion hasn't changed.

Feel free to share your unpopular opinions.

K to the...

#31WriteNow Bonus: Basketball Chronicles Update

On Day 12, I wrote about two older men at the gym who talked smack to me, and only me, while on the court two Sundays ago.

Well, I found out yesterday that Grandpa #1 thought I was another lady who used to come to the court and talk smack on the regular.  He was still in his feelings about whatever she said to him 3 or more years ago and was "getting revenge"...but he had the wrong lady.

LMAOjdakdjfaepurdkag!

Get your baby ass outta here!

Again, how old are we?

K to the...

#31WriteNow Day 27 - So Much Drama in the LBC...

On November 23, 1993, the world was introduced to Snoop Doggy Dogg's "Doggystyle".  That album is, indubitably, the most ignant album I own...with the most ignant album artwork with the comic strip.  I have hella songs on my hard drive that are just as ignant. Waxamillion's "No Panties On" is one of them.

Yes, from BET's Un-Cut.

Judge not!

I am not ashamed of my love for Snoop's debut album. Rapping the lyrics to "Gin & Juice" in front of my mom and grandmother, then blasting it on a beautiful Sunday afternoon (o_O) is proof of my lack of shame.

Anyone have any albums in their collection that you should probably be ashamed of loving...but you're not?

K to the...

#31WriteNow Day 26

In honor of today's date, I want to share with you some my favorite jams from the group, Day 26.

Music Monday.

Enjoy!

#31WriteNow Day 25 - 1 Space, 2 Space, Red Space, Blue Space

My sister from another mister, T-race, posted a status on Facebook a couple of months ago that blew my mind.  She had learned that hitting the space bar twice after a period is for typing on a typewriter.

WHAT?!?!?

So, I've been trying to break this double-space-after-period habit, outside of work emails, and I've been struggling.  During this blog challenge, sometimes I single-space after a period; sometimes I double-space.  And I don't have the time (read: I don't really feel like) going back to check spacing at the end of all of my sentences. Even in this paragraph, you can see the struggle.

One day, I'll get it together.

Happy Sunday

K to the...

#31WriteNow Day 24 - "Bifcake" Chronicles: I Don't Think So!

I am very honest when it comes to dealing with guys I'm dating, or in relationships with. This can be blamed on my first love. You know how Quincy and Monica met in “Love & Basketball”?  That was us, back in ’91 or ’92. There wasn’t a basketball rim in someone’s backyard, though. There was a milk crate on the light pole in an alley in Chatham-Avalon.  As we went from friends to being a couple about 10 years after we met, there was always great communication between us.  If a question was asked, an honest answer was given. These weren't insecure, jealous questions; just random questions to spark conversation.

I haven’t been with him since 2002. However, I've gone into relationships with the expectation of my partner being open and honest with me as I am with him. It seems to be a "curse"...a "curse" that has been a factor in why the 4 relationships I’ve been in since 2003 have failed.

This week, I got a friend request on Facebook from an ex. I ignored the request and I sent a message asking what he wanted.  He responded, stating he wanted to say hello and was confused as to why I asked the question.  I proceeded to remind him of the last time there was any correspondence between us.  It was in 2010, via a text message he sent to his sister, in which he said:

“Tell Kenya I said ‘F*** her!’”

Oh, I aired that nigga OUT on Facebook and Twitter. First, middle AND last name. Thank God for growth, though.  I had forgiven him way before this apology I received during the exchange this week.

After, politely*, reading him, he states:

“One thing I’ve always loved about you is you always tell the truth.”

Hmm.  I couldn't tell when we were together.  And I couldn't tell when we attempted to be friends in the years since we were together.  Now he wants my number so we can talk.

This "rekindle friendship->act like an ass->disappear->repeat" cycle.

Miss me with that.

K to the...

*I say “politely” because I didn’t curse him out.  I’m classy.

#31WriteNow Day 23 - Friday Jammin

Happy Friday peeps!  On today, I shall share my favorite Friday jam.

It's Friday, Bizzniyeeees!

K to the...

#31WriteNow Day 22 - Throwback Thursday

*Facebook Note from September 25, 2008.  Enjoy.*

A Bird in the...Office, Beats Two in the Bush

Greetings and salutations everyones and everyones. It has been a while since I blessed the fb world with my ignance via notes. But today, I just HAD to write about what I experienced at approximately 8:35a this morning

First of all, today started off pretty good. I was up earlier than usual so I could go take my mom her b-day gift before heading to work. I scooped up The Diva to take her to work...save her some f...oh wait, she's a senior citizen. They ride for free. D'oh! Anywho, she said I was going to have her at work too early, so I dropped her off at Carsons. Sounds like another excuse to shop.

So I get to work, get my breakfast out the cafeteria and head on upstairs to my office. I share my office with another accountant, and usually she beats me here, but not today. So, I proceed to unlock the door with breakfast, RedEye and Solange's CD (It's hot!) in my hand. I open the door and I see an unusually large, dark colored object flying across the room and lands on the shelf above of my desk. What is this object? A d@mn bird.

Kid you not.

So I'm like "What the?" Nobody else is in their office, so I'm just standing there...in awe, with all this ish in my hand. I go to find someone to share this discovery with, and my officemate walks up. I'm like "Yo, it's a bird in our office." She's in disbelief too.

So another co-worker comes out and overhears us chatting and somehow directs the bird to a window in the hallway. This brave, male coworker of mine actually GRABS the bird, holds it till we get the screen open and let the bird loose. End of the story? Negative!

So I finally walk in my office and sit down...literally LMAO at what I just witnessed. I send a big dumbauss mass text message to people cuz I'm still in awe. So we're looking around, and I notice there is bird poop up by my officemate's printer. It's just a little, but Tweety bird's dark-feathered cousin (We'll call him Sweety) pooped on a spot that isn't easily cleaned.

So, how did Sweety get in the office? Well, the window in my office can't be opened, so I figured when the clean-up crew came through last night to clean the offices, Sweety came through an open window in the hallway, flew in here and called NR7-141 his home for the night. End of story? Negative squared!

Let's fast forward to approximately 11:30a. I proceed to grab some papers on my desk. The papers I needed were under the RedEye I had with me this morning. I lift up the RedEye and what do I see...bird poop on this check request that had all the required signatures on it. Laughter resumes again. So imagine reading a post-it from an accountant starting with "Due to a bird...yes a bird flying in my office last night..." Yess, I did write this on the Post-It.

I swear nothing can mess up this day. I mean really...absolutely...NOTHING!

Moral of the story:
Don't let bird poop make your day a sh*##y day! lol Happy Thursday!

#31WriteNow Day 21 - 5 Months and Growing

Happy 5 Months to my babies!

3.21.13...the day it began.

4.24.13

5.22.13

7.1.13

8.13.13

#31WriteNow Day 20 - 13 years...

Thirteen years ago, I was getting ready for life as an undergraduate student. I was leaving my mom, grandmother and little sister behind.

Thirteen years later, my little sister is getting ready for life as an undergraduate student. She is leaving my mom, grandmother and big sister (ME!) behind.

We leave tomorrow.

Craziness.

K to the...

#31WriteNow Day 19 - Eh...

During the interview for my current place of employment, I asked about the hierarchy within the finance department. I accepted the offer with intentions of, one day, being able to get this manager position that was mentioned during my interview.  On the first day of work, I learned that position doesn't even exist.

I could have stayed my ass at my previous place of employment.

Needless to say, I'm not happy. I addressed this during my 6-month-that-was-done-10-months-after-my-start-date employee review. Favoritism shown, low employee morale, Bitter Betty, being told I don't have enough work because I get my work done in a timely manner...bullshit.

I feel stuck. The job search hasn't been going well.  I refuse to accept another job just to get away.  That's how I ended up in this current situation.

After randomly taking a day off last week, I can't shake this idea of decreasing my hours at work. If I can get a day off every other week just to have a break from hell, then I will take it.

My last job turned me into someone that I really didn't like the last two years I was there. I refuse to let this job turn me back into that person.

K to the...

Update: My buddy in payroll said working a half day every Friday might be accepted more than having a day off every other week.  I'll take it.

#31WriteNow Day 18 - It's the little things

*I couldn’t help it.  I had to write about this*

I talk to my grandmother, almost every day.  Most of the time, we talk in the a.m., which leads me to question her about breakfast.  If she hasn’t eaten anything, I’d politely ask her to, while explaining it’s the most important meal of the day.

Like clockwork.

Though there are hella struggles, there are still plenty of good moments when dealing with someone with Alzheimer’s.  Sometimes, when I call her, she says “I ate my breakfast today,” as soon as she picks up the phone.  She remembers that I’m that person who always asks her about breakfast.  And you can hear how proud she is when she tells me she ate.

Like a little kid.

And it makes me smile every time.

Love.

K to the…

#31WriteNow Day 17 - Naw, son!

Growing up, I had the smallest bedroom in the house.  It didn’t take much for it to look messy, so I always kept it in order.  As an adult, with a larger space, I still keep my place in order...especially the kitchen!  But, order doesn’t mean a thing when living in an apartment building because you may encounter some unwanted guests.

I’ve noticed a pattern with my current abode.  Once a year, 2-3 roaches show up in my apartment and I freak out.  It seems to happen when a nastass moves out or a nastass moves in.  The first time I saw roaches in my current abode, I called maintenance.  They came in and laid a glue trap under the sink…for a mouse.

A mouse. -__-

So I took matters in my own hands.  I bought some Raid and got to spraying.

I’ve seen two roaches this past week.  It’s time for the re-up.

I don’t play.

Odd Future Roach Gang KILL THEM ALL!

K to the…

#31WriteNow Day 16 - Halfway

I'm surprised I've made it this far with the challenge.  I actually hate writing.  My degrees are in Accounting.

Those last two statements are related.

I hope I haven't been too boring.  Maybe you learned something new about me.  Maybe you were reminded of some things about me.  Either way, I hope you've enjoyed what you've read.

Thanks for reading.

Feel free to subscribe.

Let's keep it going.

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#31WriteNow Day 15 - Thirsty Thursdays

Undergrad...no classes on Fridays?

Sheeeiiiiiiid...you know what we were on!!!

$1 shots at the club, sharing a $7 bottle of something or Hpnotiq* when we were feeling fancy.

Adulthood...gotta go to work on Friday?

Sheeeiiiiiiid...you know what I'm on.

Making sure I drink 64oz of water to reach my daily quota and that my bills are paid, because it's pay day.

Ha!

K to the...

*Hpnotiq.  Don't think you can pay me to drink that ish today. 

#31WriteNow Day 14 - My favorite Leo

Today, 18 years ago, at 4:32pm...a baby girl was born.

My baby sister.

Innocence in '95

My road dawg.

Thuggin' in '01

My heart.

Love in '12

Kiara Imani.

Beautilful for prom in '13

Where has the time gone?

JESUS TAKE THE CALENDAR!!!

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#31WriteNow Day 13 - Loc-a Flocka Flame

• As my hair gets longer, it's becoming more manageable for me. I don't have a countdown til my next appointment, anymore.
• Last time I got my hair done, my loctician said most of my hair is loc'ed. Maybe all of it is loc'ed, now.
• Organic lemon juice really does help to loc hair, but my scalp hated it.
• I love how untamed my hair can be, at times, and I still look cute.
• Well, I look cute to me...THAT'S what matters
• I've had a few folk ask how long will I have locs.  I don't know.  Too early in the game to think about long-term.  
• And of course...ya bish! ;-)

K to the...

#31WriteNow Day 12 - Basketball Chronicles: How Old Are We?

As the hoop session was winding down yesterday, we were a couple of players short to run a full.  So, two older guys who usually play half-court decide to joins us.

Game is going, I call out the score every time a team scores.  My team has had the lead for the majority of the game.  So, I call out the score of 9-7.  Now, it's an issue to the older dudes.  I'll refer to them as Grandpa #1 and Grandpa #2.  In #1's mind, the score is 7-7.  Nobody has said anything about the score all game.  Now that the other team is down...they want to complain about the score.

Also known as "cheat".  I can't stand a cheater.

So, everyone (except me) agrees the score is 7-7.  I don't call out the score anymore.  #1 and #2 proceed to talk shit to me for the rest of that game, and the two following games.  Nobody else...just me.  

At one point, #2 mocks my voice.  

Really?

Obviously, it was 1992, and I was on the playground during recess.

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#31WriteNow Day 11 - Laugh

*I tweeted about this the other day.  If you read the tweets, just act like this is your first time reading.  If you didn't...enjoy."

On Day 7, I wrote about my grandmother's condition and how I won't be going into much detail about her challenges on my blog.  At the end of the post is a pic of me kissing my grandmother's cheek.  Every time I look at it, I smile because of what happened prior to that picture being taken.  It's become one of my favorite photos with her.

About 3 weeks ago, a gang of us were at my best friend's parents' crib celebrating my "other mom's" birthday.  We were all sitting around, talking, sipping, dancing...just having a good time.  Mei-Mei called me over to sit down next to her.  She was feeling good that night.  She had her Moscato AND took a shot or two of tequila.

Yep.  She was feeling good.

After I sat down, I asked her to take a picture with me.  She told me she didn't like the first picture.  Then, she starts laughing.  As she started to laugh, I took this pic:

While she continued to laugh, I kissed her cheek and caught that moment.  Here it is again...and you will deal.  I really do love this pic:

Love.

Happy Sunday.

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#31WriteNow Day 10 - "Throwback this..."

My Saturday morning TV line-up was the shiznit as a child.  A bowl of Fruit Loops and the TV to myself from 9a-12p was all I needed in this life of sin as a child.  Today, I just want to share some of my faves.

Happy Saturday!

K to the...

Saved by the Bell.  Who doesn't remember this?


"They're heroes in a half-shell...and they're greeeen!"


Because of my big forehead, "Tweety" was one of my nicknames as a kid.  -__-


Remember when the NBA games were on NBC?

#31WriteNow Day 9 - Cubicle Chronicles: 3 Feet, No Pressure.

There's a guy at my job who doesn't understand the meaning of personal space.  When I first started working here, I noticed he'd want to shake my hand every time we saw each other.  Because of this handshake, I would have to feel this ashy, sandpaper hands.  He works in the kitchen, washing dishes.  So naturally, his hands are extra dry due to all of the washing.  Understandable.  But, his hands still felt gross.

After a week or so, I switched it up on him.  I hit him with the "fist bump."

Ever since that fateful day, over a year ago, he is obsessed with making sure every time I see him, we fist bump.  I've been followed around the cafeteria so that there is a fist bump.  I've had my path in the hallway blocked so there is a fist bump.

Ugh.  Back the hell up, dude!

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#31WriteNow Day 8 - My fave number

It's August 8th.

Eighth day of the 8th month of the year.

Yeah, it's my favorite number.

It goes back to 8th* grade when my grammar school finally had a girls' basketball team.  When picking a jersey number, I didn't want the same number as anyone else in the NBA.  I chose #18.  I still have my jersey and I might still be able to fit it.

Shut up.

Get to high school and I was unable to have "18" as a jersey number during the season.  In the summer league, it didn't matter.  But, Coach Penny (RIP) never ordered shirts with "18" on the back.  But he always had "8", so that's what I'd always pick.  And it's been with me since.

NJ Nets jersey from undergrad

Bears jersey

Class ring.  That wasn't my jersey number.

Since 8/8 is amongst us, let's hope it's a good day for me.

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*Coincidence

#31WriteNow Day 7 - MYOB

In a rambling post last month, I mentioned that my grandmother had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  I didn't realize how few people I told until I got texts saying "I didn't know."  As much as I'd like to go into details on the challenges of dealing with someone who suffers from this incurable disease, I can't.

Back in 2011, too much drama was occurring in my life due to tweets being scrutinized.  I would tell my grandmother about it and she would tell me not to put my business out on the Internet.  She hates the Internet.  She would tell me if I need to get it out, write it down or talk to someone about it.  I feel like this should apply to her condition, as well.

At times, I feel like my friends are tired of hearing me talk about her condition.  It's not something I talk about everyday, but talking about it can kill a good mood, ya know.

I will say as her condition worsens, mine and my mother's coping mechanisms have gotten better as we've gotten used to the situation.  We're each other's rock.  And I cherish every moment Mei-Mei and I spend together: frustrating or funny.

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#31WriteNow Day 6 - Girl, sit down!

There comes a time in life when you just have to sitcho $5 ass down...tap out...take the L, when it comes to physical activity.  Even though I look 18, my body is, in fact, approaching 31.  These legs got another 40+ years of high heels toleration in this dancerie.  I have to keep them together.

Yeah, I said 40+ years.  Have you not met my grandmother?

This past weekend, my girls and I decided to take a ride along Chicago's lakefront and enjoy the beautiful weather.  

Neither one of us had planned to ride 10+ miles on Saturday.  But the weather was beautiful, and we were on a roll.

After I got home, showered and chilled, my sillauss was thinking "Maybe I can ride my bike to the gym tomorrow (Sunday) morning to go hoop."  That's 13 miles, round trip.

The hell was I thinking?

When I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, I was walking like a baby who had taken her first steps.  Legs were all wobbly and ish.

Needless to say, I drove my sillauss to the gym on Sunday. 

When your body says "Sitcho auss down," you listen.

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#31WriteNow Day 5 - Jukebox*: Revealed

Music was always played in the house, as a child.  V-103, vinyl, cassettes…I jammed to it all.  Of course, as a child coming up in the 80s and 90s, Michael Jackson was rotation.  I actually have my mom’s “Bad” album that I may or may not return to her when she gets a new record player.  If “Bad” wasn’t being played, I was watching “Moonwalker” on VHS.  I definitely got my Michael Jackson fix as a kid.

Included on “Moonwalker” was a music video for “Man in the Mirror.”



I couldn't recite all the lyrics in the verses, but when it got to the chorus…that was my time to shine!

“I’m starting with the man in the mirror!
I’m asking him to change his ways!”

Well, it wasn’t until I reached adulthood when I realized that the “man in the mirror” that Michael Jackson was singing about…

is Michael Jackson.

“If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and make a change.”

You know how many times I sang this song!?!  Here I am singing about making a change…not knowing that I’m supposed to be the one that’s making the change.

I WAS THE (WO)MAN IN THE MIRROR THAT I SANG ABOUT!!!

*facepalm*

K to the…

*Jukebox is a nickname (one of my favorites) that I acquired in college.

#31WriteNow Day 4 - The Cross

"Those who wear the cross often forget the Christ of the cross"

This is a "Thought of the Week" I saw in my old church's program one Sunday when I was a teenager and it crosses my mind often.  I am someone who often has a piece of jewelry on me that represents my faith.  If I don't have a cross around my neck, I have on my great-grandmother's ring, which has a cross on it.  I don't get to church as often as I used to, so I feel like I need to have a cross near me.  It's not a fashion statement, to me, like some folk treat a "Jesus piece."  It's just a reminder of my faith.

And right now, I need that reminder more than ever.

K to the...

#31WriteNow Day 3 - Yeezus' Rice

Unless you've been living under a rock, you know that Kanye released an album on June 18th entitled "Yeezus".  Every now and then, I rank his albums; sometimes these rankings change.  Right now, this is how I rank his albums:

1. Graduation
2. The College Dropout
3. 808s & Heartbreaks
4. Late Registration
5. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
6. Yeezus

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#31WriteNow Day 2 - The 'N' Word

I will never be here for anyone who isn't African-American saying "nigga" or "nigger".

 An Asian classmate of posted a pic of his Caucasian friends and the caption said "My niggas from Jeff park."

No way, my dude...NO WAY.

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#31WriteNow Day 1 - Allow me to reintroduce myself...

So, the homie, Luvvie, came up with this blog challenge for the month of August.  Everyday, I am to post something to my blog.  I couldn't quite come up with a theme.  I was thinking of writing a short story...but I'm Sweet Brown to it.

In other words, I don't have time for that.

*ba dum tss*

Since the title of my blog is Fantastical Randomocity, I think it's OK for me to be random for these next 31 days.  Just think of these posts for the next 31 days as me updating my Facebook status.

So for today, I'm going to start with 10 random facts about me.

I put this here because it wouldn't align correctly for number 5.  Ain't I cute, though?  OK, continue reading.

1. I rarely introduced myself as "K.D."...and it still sounds weird when I hear folk introduce me as such.  Not that there's anything wrong with it.
2. 10 Myths About Introverts.  Yep...me.
3. I haven't been on a real date since "Ted" was in theaters last summer.  And I am OK with this.
4. I told my father to "get off my ovaries" when he asked me about kids last year.  Hasn't asked me about them since.
5. When my hair gets longer, I am going to recreate that pic above from when I was about 3 years old. Ponytails and all, since folk think I still look the same.
6. I am the oldest of two girls, but the youngest amongst my close friends.  Balance.
7. I've learned to not tell my crushes when I'm crushing on them. It's always lead to embarrassment in the past...from high school to adulthood.  So, I just shut up.
8. I think people who included lyrics in their liner notes are angels. Sometimes, my ears don't hear what these artists say.
9. Eye shadow and lip gloss...all the make-up I need in this life of sin.
10. I hope I can keep this challenge going.

K to the...

Basketball Chronicles: My Name is My Name

*Word to Marlo Stansfield*

I don't know what it is about Sunday morning hoop sessions that test my baby gangster...but it was tested once again this past Sunday.

It was the last or second-to-last game of the hoop session.  A guy comes in to replace one of my teammates.  One of my teammates points out everyone on our team:

Jerk:  It's me, [name], [name], [name], and "the girl"
One of the NAMED fellas:  Why does she have to be "the girl"?
Me:  I have a name.  It's Kenya.
Jerk:  It's easier to say "the girl".
Me:  No, it's easier to say "Kenya."
Jerk:  He might not know who "Kenya" is.
Me:  Everybody in here knows who I am. I'm the only lady in here on Sundays.

After the game, he tries to explain why he said "the girl."

Jerk:  I said "the girl" because he may not have known who "Kenya" is.
Me:  But my name is, usually, for a female.  If he heard the name, he would think "Oh, the lady on the court."
Jerk:  I wasn't thinking like that.

Obviously.

There is no logical explanation for referring to me as anything except "Kenya".  Especially since I've been a Sunday regular the past year and a half.

Stupid ish like this is why I stopped hooping on Sundays, for about 3 months.  I felt like my time was being wasted (If certain folk aren't on maugs' team, they don't want to play right) and my game wasn't being respected.  Not only do I have to be strong, physically; I have to be mentally strong, as well.

K to the...

P.S.  Young Money still has no post moves and still can't score on me.  More proof that height and lifting weights don't mean ish if you don't know how to use it.

Swank!

Rambling - 7.15.13

Didn't realized it had been 2 months since I posted.  Well, it's summertime...'nough said.  So, no theme for today's post...just rambling.

• My grandmother has officially been diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  It's not the inevitable that bothers me...it's the changes before the inevitable occurs.  Watching the changes hurts like hell, at times.  But, she's still my Mei-Mei...and she is still putting on heels every day.
• I still don't like my place of employment.  But, I know my worth well enough to not just apply for any job just to get away.  I don't need a repeat of the current situation I'm in.  
• Fawk George Zimmerman.
• Was on vacation for a week with some dope people.  Ate good, drank good, laughed good...TANNED good. It was a much needed break from reality.
• It wasn't until the trip that I SAW how yoga has sculpted my body, in addition to the strength and poise I've obtained from the practice.
• No, really.



My fave beach pose.  "To di world!"

• I am an introvert...who can be socially awkward at times.  Yet, I showed up at Posh Entertainment day party solo dolo, sipped and jammed!  I had so many random conversations with strangers...even met a soror.  Maybe it was the Avion tequila.  It definitely wasn't that extra-regular-tasting Ace of Spades poured in my glass by some "baller." -__-
• The only reason I can remember the date I became single is because Amy Winehouse died on the same day.  The date is approaching.  I miss Amy.
• I got stood up for dinner last Wednesday.  I've yet to receive a phone call explaining what happened.  If that ain't some "Ain't sh!t-ness" for ya...
• I said it before and I'll say it again.  I love love and love seeing my peeps in love.  I just don't see it for myself, at this point in time.  
• I might be one of the most respectful, inebriated folk on Earth.  Before chatting up with a few fellas on Saturday, I would ask if they were single.  If so, then I'd keep the convo short.  If no, then they may have gotten juked on and we chatted a bit longer.  Drama: Ish I don't have time for.
• A while back, I was at a house party for a friend's birthday.  The boyfriend of the homeowner (who I didn't know was her boyfriend) looked familiar and I was trying to get his attention to see from where I knew him.  I really hope she didn't think I was trying to disrespectful.  Again, Drama: Ish I don't have time for.
• FAWK GEORGE ZIMMERMAN!!!
• Am I really supposed to believe that Taco Bell uses real steak?
• Beyonce concert this week...Jay-Z and JT next week.  I'm at both them maugs like a [insert some witty metaphor here]
• I feel like I should have more thoughts to type.
• Summer 2013 is winning like Summer 2012.  Let's keep this good energy going, Universe.

K to the...

Basketball Chronicles: Ego

I am 5' 5 1/2" (Doctor claims I'm not 5'6". Hmph)...125 lbs...and I play basketball with men weighing 150 lbs and more on a weekly basis.  Yess...everyone is bigger than me.  Keep this tidbit in mind as the blogpost continues. 

Lately, I've noticed lately how funny the male ego is on the basketball court.  I've heard the dumbest arguments.  But I find comedy in the male ego in regards to me.  Now, I've told you my size...which leads to guys getting offended when I play D on them.  I've heard a guy go "Are you serious?"  In his eyes, if I'm playing defense on him, it means that I think I can take him...which means I don't think he's that good.

This is when my ego kicks in.  Now, because you don't think I "deserve" to play D on you, I gotta 1) Prove to myself that I can stick you; 2) Light that auss up when I get the ball.

You'd be amazed by all the ish talked to me on the court.  But when I say something back, it's "Oh, you're talking ish?"  You damn right I am...and I'm gonna try my damnedest to back it up, too.

Ego...such a funny thing.

K to the...

Hair

I think all 4 of my regular readers are my friends on Facebook or Instagram.  So, it's not quite news to you that I started my locs back in March.

For those who aren't my friend on any social networks: I STARTED MY LOCS ON MARCH 21, 2013!

With any type of transitioning with hair, there is a phase when you are looking a hot mess.  I have reached that stage, in between my retwists.  But you know what...

I love it!

And I've actually posted pics of it.  

Yikes!

This is a lot coming from someone who wasn't always satisfied with her hair.  It wasn't long enough...it wasn't thick enough...it wasn't enough.  My lil sis and I have different fathers; so naturally, her genetic makeup is different than mine.  She has long, thick, curly hair past her shoulders...while I was blessed (or cursed) with soft hair that barely came to my shoulder.  Hearing that a friend of the family basically said her hair was prettier than mine just...hurt.

It wasn't until I got to college and started wearing my hair down that I noticed that I, too, had length (to the shoulder!) thanks to that good ole wrap.  And because of this lengh I wasn't used to, I tried to hold on to it for dear life.  I graduated from college and found a scissor happy beautician I'd go to every two weeks.  Imagine how irritated I'd be when I say I need my ends clipped and get out the chair with hair so short, I can barely wrap it.  This continued while getting a relaxer and as I became natural.

After one last "clip ends" session, I stopped going to get my hair pressed and rocked my curls.  Length wasn't important anymore, but it was definitely growing.  I was actually close to cutting my hair and having a teeny weeny afro.  Weird.  But I decided against it.

Now here I am, just letting my hair to do its own thing.  And my grey strands (Thanks, Dad!) are outcheah flourishing.

But I love it.

Now if I can just find the right remedy for my dry scalp...

K to the...