Cubicle Chronicles 4.29.10

Good morning, ladies, gents, dogs cats, babies, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego!

It's about that time for another installment of the Cubicle Chronicles, the "Hey NuNu" edition.

There are a couple people here at the gig who I know not to say much to because I can see the invisible "Hi, my name is SNITCH" name tag they wear. Yeah, I see invisible stuff.

So in the morning, whenever I go in the break room to get my tea, if it's one of two ladies in there...I know I'm going to walk out the room with my eyes to the ceiling like "Lord, I know you're testing my patience". Well today, one of the two was in there and I just HAD to share this story.

We'll call this lady Sherlock Holme-Girl,

You know, after you see someone on the regular and speak, you ask their name so you can actually give a formal greeting instead of just saying "Hi". Well, Sherlock Holme-Girl, asked my name one day and I guess from there she thought we were just friends till the end.

NOT!

See this lady works in the department that sits behind us. EVERYone, in my opinion, is a snitch in that department. Even the lady who asked how I did my hair yesterday. She might snitch to the natural gods or som'n...I don't know. So anywho, for about a week, I would always see Sherlock Holme-girl in the bathroom around 4p. I started noticing her questions were a bit too much:

"You getting ready to go home?"

"What time are you leaving?"

"Yall can leave early on Fridays?"

"You going to Orland to do some shoppin?"

GET SOME BIDNESS!

So today was the ultimate nosiness for me. I mean, she made me think "I know my life ain't that interesting to her." I didn't stop to get breakfast this morn, so I said I'd get a pastry out the vending machine. Well, Sherlock Holme-Girl was in the breakroom and this morning's events go as follow:

Me: *walks in* Good morning
SH-G: Good morning, girl it's almost Friday
Me: Yeah I know *walks to vending machine*
SH-G: Getting something out the vending machine?
Me: Yeah
*then she walks OVER to the damn vending machine, stands behind me*
SH-G: Oh you getting a pop tart?
Me: Yeah, I didn't get breakfast
SH-G: *walks back to whatever the hell she was doing before*
*Here comes Smart Auss Sally entering stage right*
SAS: Now, I know you're not getting any candy.
Me: A Pop Tart is breakfast food
SAS: Oh I was about to say...just cuz you're little doesnt mean you can eat junk food for breakfast
SH-G: Girl if I eat a Pop Tart, I'd blow up.
Me: *thinking* "BOTH OF YALL SHUT YOUR FAT AUSSES UP!!!" *grabs tea* *leaves*

*SIGH*

It's always something...

K to the...

P.S. I don't like calling people "fat"...but when you come at my size like I'm anorexic and you don't even know ish about me, I get defensive.

P.P.S. My coworker is still saying my cousin is watching him in my pic. o_O

P.P.S.S. My co-worker, low-key, tried to call my cousin gay. "He's 36, not married, no kids...red flag!" He isn't gay...you just want him to be gay so you can have him. Go get some bidness!

Tactful Tuesday

Ay!

Stop looking at me like that!

Yeah, I know...it's been a while.

*hangs head in shame*

But today a certain "Thought of The Week" we used to read in h.s. freshman year came to mind and I thought I'd share it with you guys.

If any of my readers had Ms. Sharpe, then you know ALL about this

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.
It is more important than the past,
the education,
the money,
than circumstances,
than failure,
than successes,
than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.
It will make or break a company...
a church...
a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past...
we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have,
and that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.
And so it is with you...
we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

~Charles R. Swindoll

Have a good one everyone!

K to the...

Who's Rude: Me, She, or Nature?

Hello, world!

This is a RUDE auss post, ladies and gents. I recently saw an old friend and forgot to tell my girl when I first saw him. Well, this morning, I told her and we had a grand ole rude auss time roasting. Below is our textvo!

P.S. We're not roasting simply to roast...the chick done did some grimey ish. Sooo...she deserves it

Rudeness #1: His boo is sooooooo funny looking.

Rudeness #2: Lol...ur so funny. Did he speak or did he try to play u?

Rudeness #1: He spoke, but gave the phony hug, then I realized that was her behind him.

Rudeness #2: That's funny...she is very funny looking though she looks worse with no weave...lol happy for them though

Rudeness #1: She had no weave on...MESS!

Rudeness #2: Lol yes a hot mess!!!!! And I'm sure a face full of ugly makeup!!!! I hate to see her without it

Rudeness #1: It was dim...and she was still funny looking. lol Didnt see how she looked in the light.

Rudeness #2: u may have ran cause it is so not cute. Nice to have ur guard dog on standby for u at all times...lol that was wrong I didn't mean that lol

Rudeness #1: LMAO! U are rude as hell. LMAO!

Rudeness #2: LMAO...I apologize cause that was mean. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that

Rudeness #1: I'm still laughing

Rudeness #2: I know she was growling when u hugged [him]...she a very good and protective bitch...lol ok no more

Rudeness #1: LMAO! I hatechu!

Rudeness #2: No u don't...lol

Rudeness #1: Lol Ok, i dont

Rudeness #2: Rudeness #3 calls her bridezilla and it has nothing to do with her attitude LMBO

Rudeness #1: Yall are so rude! lol

Rudeness #2: No her face and fat ass is rude and [he] is just cruel for bringing her out to terrorize the world lol...

Rudeness #1: LMAO

Rudeness #2: Ok but for real if he happy then so I am...that's what he loves...they will make beautiful babies...LMAO...ok i'm just reaching with that one

Rudeness #1: LMAO! Stop it...stop it right now! LMAO

Rudeness #2: U stop it...u started it LOL

Rudeness #1: Lol Nature started it...I just made an observation!

Rudeness #2: Sometimes Nature ain't even right!!!!! Just mean I say!!!!!!!!

Rudeness #1: LMAO! Stop it...stop it RAHT now

Rudeness #1: I'm making this convo blog post lol

Rudeness #2: Lol where u posting it?

Rudeness #1: To my blog...Imma do it this evening. lol

Rudeness #2: I didn't know u had a blog...lol...but that convo was hilarity (new word)

Rudeness #1: I use hilarity on the reg. And negro, i texted yall about the blog when I first started it. lol

Rudeness #2: I'm sorry but where do I work again????? Right I'm becoming the people I work for lol

Rudeness #1: Lol contagious Alzheimers...thats a new strand

Rudeness #2: Ummm yeah...the pentagon is researching now lol

Rudeness #1: lol

Big ups and fat shouts to this fool for keeping me laughing all morning.

K to the...

ROCKING THE RED PUMP!

Good morning world!


Life has been busy for me since the last post, but once “March Madness” (No NCAA) is done, then I should be back on track bringing your randomocity from my side of the world.


Today, I decided to end the hiatus for a good cause. Today, is National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (NWGHAAD)! Created by the Office of Women’s Health, NWGHAAD is March 10th of every year. Its goal is to serve as a day for women to come together to encourage dialogue and educate women and girls about the HIV/AIDS epidemic and its increasing impact.


Today is also the one year anniversary of The Red Pump Project…for whom I am the accountant. I know…my profession does NOT match my personality filled with ignance and randomocity.


But it’s what I do…what I love…and I’m honored to be a part of such a great team. Go Team Red Pump!


In commemoration of NWGHAAD, and in celebration of the Red Pump Project’s one year anniversary, The Red Pump Project will have their inaugural fashion show Rock the RED: Bold. Fashion. Awareness. The show will be held on March 25, 2010 . We will be honoring Emmy Award-winning HIV/AIDS activist Rae Lewis-Thornton with the "Ultimate Red Pump Rocker" Award. If you haven’t bought your ticket yet, what is your life about!?! Get it together!


Well, work awaits me. You all have a lovely day. And ladies…rock those red pumps…red flats…red kix like you’re the sexiest beast in the world. Give life!


And if you juicing tonight..or any night…WRAP THAT S#!T UP B!!!


I’m just serious.


K to the…

Cubicle Chronicles 1.27.10

Ladies, gents, dogs, cats and parakeets!

I am still alive here in the blog world. But ever since my addiction to Twitter, my random thoughts I'd usually post here, are now being tweeted. However, I've realized all my Twitter followers don't read my blog; and all those that read my blog aren't necessarily on Twitter. So I'm going to make a better effort to post twice a week. It was thrice when I first started, but The Man (the CEO, who is actually a black woman) has me working, fa realla!

Now that I've gotten this disclaimer out the way, here's another edition of the Cubicle Chronicles.

Today's post is focused on the coworker who sits to my right. He's from the motherland, & a real sweetheart. He used to work my nerves because he does talk alot, and I'm not real talkative at work. But I've been engaging in more convo, even letting my ignance show at times.

Over, the past couple weeks, he's done some things that require me to give a o_O!

1.) On one of my cubicle walls, I have pics of fam, and my friends' kids. (Yeah, Ion't have any kids, so I have to flaunt someone else's.) Anywho, there's a group fam pic, and my cousin is in this pic. Well, my co-worker has a crush on him...just off this picture. Everytime my coworker stands up and faces me, he can see this pic. Well one day he told me...he looks at that pic everytime he stands up; says my cousin is seducing him in the pic.

O_O

A part of me wants to move the pics.

2.) One day I was at my desk after coming from lunch or a meeting; can't remember exactly, but I was away from my desk for a while. So I'm working and all of a sudden, he reaches over the cubicle wall...and places MY 3-hole punch on my desk. He said "I had to use this." Obviously, but...wait a minute, dammit! You just gon' take my ish off my desk? This the same dude who entered my cubicle, unannounced, took some of my Kleenex, then walked out.

But, um...back to my "wait a minute, dammit!" You are rude!

*sigh*

It's always something...

K to the...

Prayers to Haiti

Today's post is more somber than other posts here on Fantastical Randomocity. I'm sure everyone has heard about what happened in Haiti and it's devastating. Reminds me of watching my people suffer in New Orleans after Hurrican Katrina. What's even more devastating about this situation in Haiti is knowing someone who's down there.

Sunday, I received an IM from my cousin saying he was on the last plane to Haiti. I was away from my computer, so by the time I saw the message and responded to see how long he would be there...no response. So when I find out about the earthquake...it hits me! So I text...no response. I call...straight to voicemail. My cousin calls his wife...straight to voicemail. I know cell phone service is weak there, but folk have been able to tweet and fb they are ok. So I wrote on his fb wall....just hoping I could get some response from him. Hopefully when he gets some power back to his phone...he'll text me back.

SOMETHING!!!

I see images of people sleeping in the street...caught under rubble and I can't help but to think, "Is my cousin out there? What about the baby?"

So prayers to Haiti today...and I'm saying a special prayer for my cousin and his family.

Also, click on the banner to donate to the relief fund. Or you can text "yele" to 501501 to donate $5. The $5 will be added to your cell phone bills.

Come on yall...every little bit counts!!!

K to the...

Cubicle Chronicles 1.7.10

Good [insert your current time of day] everyone!

This week has been a trying week here at the gig. So instead of me just being the usual K to the..., I now have to show these people why there are three letters behind my name in my email signature.

So for this installment in cubicle chronicles, the subject is communication?

Maintain a CYA file!
Having a Cover Your Auss file is muy importante in the the world of email today. Just yesterday, a lady told my mgr she didn't receive a file from me. I politely checked my sent folder...and FORWARDED the original email to her. Of course, she hits me with some wack excuse! Let me just point out the original email was sent to my mgr as well, so he could have spoke up for me (yeah right). But he didn't recognize I sent the email because *wait for it* he doesn't read...which leads me to...

I "CC:" you looking, witcho lookin' auss
There are times when I receive emails in which I've been CC'ed. The email may not be necessarily for me, but ya know, it's for me to have as reference. Well, yesterday big boss sends an email to my mgr, but copies me. I read it, understood it, on to the next email (Hov!). Today, my mgr forwards me the same email. READING IS FUNDAMENTAL!!! If you had read over the entire email, you would have seen that I received this email already.

I say again, READING IS FUNDAMENTAL!!!
So my co-workers and I, being the smart ausses we are cuz we're fed up with b.s., have signs that say "LUNCH" that hang on our cubicles when we're eating lunch at our desk. So, I'm sitting here chillin, reading the news, flossing after eating some chips that were death to my taste buds. Here comes Ditzy Magee walking pass my desk. She sees the sign and the convo goes as follows: DM: What does this say? (Sidenote: The sign is in English)
Me: *turns around with floss pick hanging from mouth* It says "LUNCH"
DM: Oh as in you're on lunch, well I'll just come back when you're done
Me: *Thinking: NO bring yo auss now, so I won't have to see you later* No, it's ok, what is your question?
She then proceeds to say as I'm helping her "I don't want to interrupt."

*sigh*

Well, my lunch is officially over, and I just took my sign down. I supposedly sit on the Internet and talk on the phone ALL DAY...so let me get back to what I do. If I'm gonna be a slacker...might as well be great at it!

Feel free to share any chronicles you may have...or techniques on how I can take these people out handle these situations...

Besides from laughing at these fools!

K to the...